To let my teen wear black to a wedding?

[Bikeybikeface]

I often hear that black is a no no for weddings unless it’s background for a colourful pattern. Her style is a bit alt, bit gothy. She originally said she’d like a trouser suit and we looked but there’s not much selection for her age/size. So, we’ve found a skater style black dress with long sleeves which she hasn’t hissed at turned her nose up at. It’s a winter wedding so long sleeves will be ok and not out of place.

I think to wear black to a wedding is incredibly rude. I have a teen and there is absolutely no way I would allow this to happen.

I’ve worn black to a wedding once. Was heavily pregnant- it fitted (just) was reasonably comfortable and I wasn’t going to buy anything new I could only wear one time! Was fine! Could she manage a coloured wrap or something?

It really never occurred to me when I got married to be bothered what people wore. I was just happy that they came and enjoyed themselves. If your dd is happy in the dress, then fine, let her wear it. Some things are not worth the battle.

I haven't been to loads of weddings, but I have worn black to all those I have attended. I don't see anything remotely rude or inappropriate about it.

I wouldn't have liked it worn at my wedding. It would have been a bit of a downer, sucking the joy out of the party.

No offence, but it must have been a shit party if one teen girl in a black skater dress would have sucked all the joy out of it.

Ive worn black to weddings, I dont really have any other colour. Im not a gothy teen either.

One teenager in a black dress would be ‘sucking the joy’ out of your wedding? And a teenager’s outfit is somehow tantamount to ‘the needs of the wedding party’? Christ, you must be hard work to be around.

OP, in the real world the bride is unlikely to give a shit that a guest is in black. The whole ‘no black at weddings’ rule is so dated now, and most people would prefer their guests to look and feel like themselves rather than looking like an unrecognisable dress-up doll.

I wear black most of the time. I wore black to my best friend’s wedding 20 years ago. I asked her first if she would mind and she laughed and said ‘Of course I don’t mind! If you wore any other colour I’d feel like you weren’t really there!’

If it was my wedding I’d prefer the teenager to wear her black outfit that she likes, instead of clothes she hates and is visibly miserable in. I personally think black is fine to wear to a wedding.

Someones outfit can 'suck joy out of the party'

How on earth???!!!!

It is also quite possible that I come from a different cultural background from those of you maintaining black is a fine colour to be worn at a wedding. As I have said, for me, personally, black is the colour for funerals, not celebrations, which is what I think weddings are.

My 14yo wore a black dress this summer - lots of people had nothing but compliments for her! It was a skater dress with off the shoulder things plus shoulder straps. She wore a silver wrap with pearly beads on it and a pearl necklace and black strappy shoes, hair curled with a pearl clip to one side. She won’t let me post a photo.

Shes otherwise quite gothy and this alone was a compromise. She looked fabulous.

shes 14. She’s full on angst and anxiety and the amount of lovely comments made her feel so much better. Head to toe mourning (as in the royals on Monday) is a different thing, but a teen in a skater dress?? Not an issue at all.

I went to a friends wedding last summer, and my then 12 year old DD who was going through a gothy phase wore a black dress. She looked lovely and no one batted an eyelid or made any negative comments. My friend was just happy we were there.

Ask the bride and groom.

All those saying it's fine, well what if a guest wanted to wear a long white dress. Would that be ok?

Sometimes we have to dress appropriately.

The 'you do you' attitude is utterly selfish.

I wore black to the wedding of a friend of one of my daughters.

Daughter did ask the bride who didn't seem to know anything about it being a problem, it certainly wasn't for her.

My dress most certainly wasn't 'funerial' and loads of the guest wore black.

The wedding was great fun and the fact that some people were wearing black definitely didn't 'suck the joy out of it'.

Dress standards have changed. I honestly think this sort of thing just isn't important to a lot of people any more.

Of course it's okay.

I think it's absolutely fine but does she know that some people think you shouldn't wear black to a wedding? I'd tell her that but also that it's a silly old-fashioned view that she can ignore. I'm just imagining otherwise her realising herself at the wedding that she's a bit out of place or another guest being rude enough to say something - it doesn't take much to make a teen self-conscious and I think you could easily get the blame!

All those saying it's fine, well what if a guest wanted to wear a long white dress. Would that be ok?

Wouldn't recommend it no. Because very often the bride will be wearing that.

But I think black is fine. Don't see how they're equivalent anyway. 😁

Fine for a winter wedding IMO. My first wedding was in mid-winter and I'm sure some people were wearing black. Certainly a few Men in black suits.

Ultimately if the Bride & Groom are spending time on their wedding day worrying about what a teen guest is wearing then they're doing their wedding day wrong. Same goes for guests really, it's a day to get together and celebrate, not judge other people.

Could you agree to the dress but convince her to have bright accessories like shoes and a clutch bag? Might break up the black a bit

It will be fine, I always wear black or darker colours, I’ve even worn the forbidden colour, red to weddings! 😂 it’s always been fine.

I often hear that black is a no no for weddings unless it’s background for a colourful pattern

Maybe if you are asking a woman in her 70s and over!
Black is a chic colour and totally acceptable for a wedding.

Wasnt there a thread at some point about wedding outfits and some people were outraged at people having bare legs!!!!

Actually that was funerals, bare legs at funerals. Outrageous

I always wear black and wore black to my son's wedding, nobody expected anything different from me. There was no chance on this earth that I would have found a mother of the groom outfit which I was willing to wear in a shop.

I'm wearing black to a wedding at the end of the month. I will be wearing a cream jacket but that will be off once at the reception. It's absolutely fine to wear black.