To let my teen wear black to a wedding?

[Bikeybikeface]

I often hear that black is a no no for weddings unless it’s background for a colourful pattern. Her style is a bit alt, bit gothy. She originally said she’d like a trouser suit and we looked but there’s not much selection for her age/size. So, we’ve found a skater style black dress with long sleeves which she hasn’t hissed at turned her nose up at. It’s a winter wedding so long sleeves will be ok and not out of place.

Thanks everyone, it has put my mind to rest.

Of course she can, unless the couple have issued some guidance to the contrary.

No one would ever say this shit about men’s wedding attire, in fact they’d be praised to high heaven for turning up in a black DJ. ‘So smart’, ‘Milk Tray Man’, ‘James Bond’.

personally I think it's fine. i can't get worked up at things like this. You see people wearing all sorts.

My cousin went to another cousin's wedding wearing a metallica t-shirt at a similar age. Everyone else was in a suit. Everyone was cool with it.

I asked my niece if she wanted to be bridesmaid at my wedding and to be honest with me if she didn't as she is a teenager and at that moment where she still doesn't really like her pic taken.

She said no and I said she could wear whatever she liked...kinda gothy/grungy but I love stuff like that anyway. I think she wore shorts with fishnet tights and boots and a nice top.

Sounds fine to be, surely the B&G aren't expecting a Gothish teen to turn into a Stepford Wife just because they're getting married?

My teenage daughter insisted on wearing black to my wedding - and she was a bridesmaid! I softened it a little with a shrug made from the same ivory fabric as part of my wedding dress. She looked wonderful, and still wears her ‘little black dress’ more than 20 years later.

It’s totally fine. I hate all this etiquette - as long as no one turns up in a wedding dress, it’s all good! Both my sisters wore black to my wedding, and my mother in law and my husband’s step-grandma wore white. I didn’t even think about it until i joined mumsnet (about 15 yrs later) and saw people comment on this sort of thing. She’ll look lovely.

Black is absolutely fine for a wedding, especially in winter.

It will be fine. Maybe ask her to think about her accessories so that she doesn't look like she is going to a funeral and makeup that isn't too goth.

Some of the younger girls (teens /early 20s) have worn black at family weddings I’ve been to in the last decade : I don’t think it’s ideal (ie have a look to see if there is another dark colour she likes) but it’s also not a big deal, especially if the bride & groom are young they may not be concerned

Would she wear brighter patterned tights with it?
But perhaps you can find a skater dress in navy blue or bottle green too.

I sometimes think I live in a parallel universe. Why would a bride of groom care what a guest wears to a wedding? Especially a teenage one.

My sister wore black skater dress to my wedding. She looked fab

it’s very old fashioned to say black is inappropriate for a wedding! she’ll be fine

If I invited someone to my wedding, I wouldn’t care what they wore as long as they were there. Jeans, black, midriff out, white - hell, wear a wedding dress if you want, dress your children up so they look like my bridesmaids, wear a neon tracksuit if you want, whatever makes you happy and means you can have a good time.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair do you run your outfit past the b & g for every wedding you go to?!?😂

Black is funereal as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't have liked it worn at my wedding. It would have been a bit of a downer, sucking the joy out of the party. Can't you ask the couple concerned how they'd feel about it? If it's OK with them, fine, but if not, if I were you, I'd be uncomfortable with putting my teen's needs ahead of those of the wedding party, surely the teen can not be goth for just one occasion?

how does a colour suck the joy out of the party

I would rather teen guests were happy at my wedding rather than wearing something they were not comfy in

Black is funereal as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't have liked it worn at my wedding. It would have been a bit of a downer, sucking the joy out of the party. Can't you ask the couple concerned how they'd feel about it? If it's OK with them, fine, but if not, if I were you, I'd be uncomfortable with putting my teen's needs ahead of those of the wedding party, surely the teen can not be goth for just one occasion?

Sucking the joy out of the party - you what???
It's a 14 yr old in a black skater dress.
Honestly.

Did anyone turn up at your wedding in a 'downer ' outfit then?

I wore black to my own wedding....so I think it's fine!

I wore black to my own wedding 🤣

Oh for goodness sake. How can you "not be goth" for one day? It's part of the teens identity.
Leave the kid alone. Black skater dress is hardly full on Morticia.
One of my Dds insisted on wearing a Liverpool football strip to a Baptism once, it caused a few raised eyebrows but she was there and was happy.

I'm assuming it's a generational difference - I will request people don't wear black at my funeral because it is too depressing. Have none of you just watched the Queen's funeral? A sea of sober bleak blackness.