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AIBU?

To breakup with a man for calling me a slut

115 replies

Helpandadvice1 · 21/09/2022 13:15

I have been with My boyfriend for four/five years
we live together

I went out with my friends at the weekend in a city away and he asked me to not post pictures as he would be embarressed his friends would see me out on social media and think I was easy
one of my friends took a picture of me and tagged me when we were out
he found it in the morning and he sent me lots of messages calling me a slut and that I looked like a prostitute
He has sent me 10 screens worth of abuse that he says I cannot think for myself and I always follow the crowd
i asked if he will break up with me and he says no

i am due back this week
one of my friends is with me and she says that the screen shots of the messages alone would be enough to get him charged with control and cohersion. He is sometimes very loving towards me and buys me flowers

i do not always want to have sex but he says that couples have sex once per week so I should - I was bleeding after last sex so I went to gp and they said everything is ok. The sex part of our relationship is not great - he is quite forceful and always touching me

he wants to marry but I am not sure
i think I have to ask him to leave my house my friend says to break up with him and not look back
it is my flat and he moving in

would i be over reacting to dump him based on one argument / text messages? Is my friend right?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

465 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
Qwerkie · 21/09/2022 13:16

Yes your friend is right he sounds vile

MumCanIDoThat · 21/09/2022 13:16

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corlan · 21/09/2022 13:19

He's an abuser. Don't waste any more time on him.

Daisymae55 · 21/09/2022 13:19

LTB LTB LTB LTB

so many read flags in your post OP - leave and don’t look back!

Ollybob · 21/09/2022 13:19

In a word yes, the nice stuff he does in no way redeems the messages, the rape, because that's what it is, don't sugar coat it! And any other controlling thing he does. Do not let him move in because it will only get worse and I'll bet he won't get out easily!

HangOnToYourself · 21/09/2022 13:20

On the off chance this is real then yes you absolutely need to leave.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 21/09/2022 13:21

Yes. Your friend is 100% right.

Hoppinggreen · 21/09/2022 13:21

He’s a nasty controlling rapist

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 21/09/2022 13:22

But it's not one argument is it, it's a whole load of abuse that you have posted about

Youdoyoutoday · 21/09/2022 13:23

A million votes to leave and never look back!

pagopago · 21/09/2022 13:23

DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN.

As you own the flat, kick him out immediately.

Change the locks and block him.

Ihatethenewlook · 21/09/2022 13:24

Oh of course you should marry a controlling, abusive rapist because he buys you flowers occasionally. Also thinking this is a wind up 🤔

mommybear1 · 21/09/2022 13:25

Leave now, run, don't look back. Love is definitely not forced sex.

headinabook · 21/09/2022 13:25

Leave him as soon as you can. Emotional and physical abuse. Don’t ever consider marrying him. It won’t get better, trust me.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/09/2022 13:25

He is sometimes very loving towards me and buys me flowers

OP - do a list. Pros - all the good things like buying flowers. Cons - all the bad things, like telling you not to go out, not to post pics, verbally abusing you. Which list is longer, and why, if it's all the bad points, do you think 'is sometimes very loving and buys flowers' makes up for them?

CovertImage · 21/09/2022 13:26

For god's sake: "My boyfriend rapes me, mauls me, has made me bleed during sex and has sent me several screens of abuse. Is any of this a red flag?"

I can't be arsed

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 21/09/2022 13:26

LTB

Always4Brenner · 21/09/2022 13:26

So you bled after sex and he still wanted it er no you get rid and now.

TwoWeeksislong · 21/09/2022 13:27

Dump him.

Checkmateready · 21/09/2022 13:28

You need to stay clear of this one. He’s disgusting. Do you really want the rest of your life to be like this!?

kateandme · 21/09/2022 13:29

I’m unsure what I’m reading here op.surely you can see.please please read back. And if needs be as if your friend wrote it to you.

Pixiedust1234 · 21/09/2022 13:29

Your friend is correct. He is abusing you. Kick him out, block him. If he refuses to go or hurts you again, phone the police.

Pansypotter123 · 21/09/2022 13:30

@CovertImage

For god's sake: "My boyfriend rapes me, mauls me, has made me bleed during sex and has sent me several screens of abuse. Is any of this a red flag?

But he sometimes buys her flowers......

I'm literally shaking my head here.

Helpandadvice1 · 21/09/2022 13:30

Thanks i just needed a final push
he went crazy at me when I wouldnt move in with him and now i know why he wanted to move in to control me more
the whole relationship was fake 😓😓😓
its so sad

OP posts:
Helpandadvice1 · 21/09/2022 13:31

kateandme · 21/09/2022 13:29

I’m unsure what I’m reading here op.surely you can see.please please read back. And if needs be as if your friend wrote it to you.

yep

OP posts:
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