Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx?

[Cherchezlaspice]

Which are you? I’m a Ms, and have been since I was about 8 years old. I didn’t change my title (or my name) when I got married and this caused some consternation amongst some of the older members of my family.

This made me realise that most women I know (married or unmarried) use Ms. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone under the age of about 50 who uses ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’. And I’ve never encountered a ‘Mx’. I do have a fairly specific demographic bubble, though.

So, I’m curious, which are you/do you use?

Am 53 and have just started using Ms instead of Miss.

I've always been Ms too. I am married and am Ms. I still use my maiden name on a few things which I admit can get confusing but I enjoy using both! I'm late 30s but still hear Mrs regularly used.

Mrs. I'm 63, been married for 42 years.

Have been Ms since I was 18 through choice. I have been married and divorced in that time and I was always Ms. My 5 year old is also Ms as I want to make this the norm. Men don't have to change their title on marriage and it is an outdated notion in my opinion.

I have been Ms since the age of 13 and am still Ms now that I am married, didn’t consider changing my name. All my friends kept their names and use Ms, and I have never met anyone who used Mrs at work either (in a field that might be described as high powered or whatever) although almost every woman working there was married.

Dr.
Though as I am a PhD not a medic that is a whole other thread. 🤣

I find titles completely unnecessary, so when possible I leave it blank or choose "Other" and write "no title".

I've always been Ms Mysurname, both before I got married and since I've been married.

I know loads of women who use Ms. I live in rural Scotland and I'm really puzzled by the suggestion that Ms is not the done thing in Scotland, because that's not my experience at all.

I am Scottish, in my 50s and didn't go to Uni for some of the contexts that have been mentioned (and very unKardashian 🤣)

I was Miss Breath Miller as a child and then became Ms Breath Miller as an adult regardless of my marital status the same as my Dh was MasterDH as a child and became MrDh as an adult.

Most of my friends (Scottish and 50s regardless of education) are the same. One or two who changed their name and went by Mrs regret it now.

Some of my family seem to find it the hardest thing to get their heads round and after 20 years of marriage I still get cards to Mrs Breath DHname. It annoys me to be honest, I find it disrespectful, they are making a point that they disapprove of my choice. If I correct them there's a bit of eye rolling like I'm being difficult.

When I was around 14/15 my English teacher in the 80s (in Scotland) got married in the holidays. Someone asked her what we should call her now and she explained the term Ms and said she had not changed her name and why. I was most impressed and thought "that's for me when I'm an adult"

I actually feel very strongly about this and whilst respecting what other people wish to call themselves and always do call them by their chosen title and name, I do wish it would go out of expectations. To me there is a sliding scale..

OfDhName (eg Offred), MrsDhFirstNameDHSurname (as my Grandmothers were still called at times), MrsMyFirstNameDhSurname.

I personally find it all archaic. (I also chose not to be "given away" by my dad when I got married)

I have 4 children, 2 while unmarried to my ex partner and two to my now husband. I have a different surname to both pairs and it doesn't bother me.

But, the biggest thing for me is respect for choices. Call yourself what you want and as soon as I know, I will call you that. But, I would default to someone being a Ms unless I knew otherwise. I would not presume a woman was a Mrs because she was either an adult or married.

In truth the only time I use a title is in form filling, when addressing cards I just put their (preferred) name with no title unless they are (generally speaking) older and I know it is important to them.

I use mrs. I’m 36. The only folk I know who use ms are divorced. If I saw your title without knowing you I’d assume you were divorced.

This is why we use Ms. Jeez. Do you ever spend a second thinking a man might be divorced? why is it even a thought you have?

I know of the existence of Mx but have never encountered it in real life, including my job where I receive a lot of emails from professionals.

Like a PP, I would assume anyone using it has bought into the idea of gender ideology or considers themselves "non-binary".

tbh i think Mx mostly pops up in drop down lists and I've never seen one in the wild. Most people will just sign off as initial + lastname if they want to obfuscate their gender/marital status.

DHs family send me birthday cards to 'Mrs John Brown'. Not even my own first name.

When I suggested keeping my maiden name upon marriage they were absolutely horrified, my MIL actually cried. I felt under a lot of pressure and agreed to change my name for social reasons and keep my maiden name at work. I suggested that DH adopt my name as a middle name and this was met with derisory laughter.

15 years later I am still pissed off at all this and wish I'd been stronger but at the time I just didn't feel able to push back.

Anyway. That's why I'm staunchly Ms when I can choose.

I use Ms or Dr (Dr preferred).

I'm half Arab, half European - growing up there were a lot of us in my school. You could always spot our mothers through the Obviously Western name/V Arabic surname combo, which in our opinion sounded really silly. The Arabic mothers kept their own surnames, which seemed more dignified in several ways.

Funnily enough I never considered a name change on marriage!

Well this thread is a good indicator of how meaningless titles are, but I'm also astonished by the 'I don't know anyone who uses Ms/Miss/Mrs' posts, I don't understand how that's actually possible unless you only know about five people.

I'd rather not use them at all, but will use Ms, if pushed/required by a compulsory field on a form and have done for decades, but was amused when I noticed that my driving licence was Miss (applied for when I was 16 and didn't know any better), car insurance Ms, because I buy it myself but my car was registered as Mrs, not sure why tbh, I bought it from new and probably didn't give a title so the salesman assumed I was a Mrs when he registered the car because I'm a woman of a certain age. But then he also seemed a bit baffled that DP went to the showroom with me but didn't seem to take any interest in me buying and paying for the car, he just left me to it while he looked at the other cars they had.

I was Miss and then Mrs once I got married. I’ve never used Ms and I can’t think of anyone I know who calls themself Ms - it’s always Miss or Mrs.

I’ve never met anyone who goes by Mx. It looks try hard to me.

I use Miss and have done for years having toyed about with Ms for awhile but found it a bit bland although I completely understand why people use Ms.

I often get called Mrs, not least because DS has my surname, and get a little kick out of stating I'm actually a Miss and the ensuing surprise.

I do have a fairly specific demographic bubble, though.

This is key, with these sorts of things! I would say the same of myself, but it’s obviously a different one as I know only a handful of people who use Ms (mostly people who have kids but have chosen not to get married, with the exception of a couple of teachers at my DD’s school). The vast majority of people I know are Mrs. It’s interesting how it differs, isn’t it?

I'm a Mrs - I missed being divorced by 11 days so ended up a widow and Ms just didn't feel right.

Two of my DC use Mx.

I use Miss. I'm 35 and divorced. I used Mrs when I was married, but I'm not a fan of Ms, so I went back to Miss.

Sounds tough.

I'm a Ms and always have been.

My eldest is a Mx.

I'm Scottish. I've used Ms (if I need to) since I was 18 - 43 years ago (). Used it as a young single woman and (or the last 24 years) as a married woman - albeit that I didn't change my surname.

Never saw it as an issue and never had anyone comment. Unless you count the time when, in my 20s (ie young and attractive if I say so myself ), a work colleague organising business cards for the team, complained to our boss that I didn't want a title on it . This was because the combination of my shortened first name and Germanic surname means that it could be thought that I was a German male . My boss said that as you usually handed business cards out, if the recipient hadn't worked out what sex I was, they had bigger problems

In general I prefer no title at all - on letters/emails if they think that they're dealing with a man, I didn't/don't care as my sex should be irrelevant.

As I don't tend to use a title, I'll answer to Mr, Ms, Mrs or Miss Prettybird. The one that I don't respond to is Mrs Dh's surname (I confuse cold callers when they ask if I'm her/to speak to her that there's no such person )

I've known quite a few other "Ms" of all ages, both in England and Scotland. Don't think any of them are divorced. It's only on Mumsnet that I've seen that some people think it means you're divorced

I use MYOB.

I've used Ms ever since I've been old enough to fill in forms. Dr once I'd qualified. Neither single nor divorced. I find that assumption preposterous and narrow minded.