Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx?

[Cherchezlaspice]

Which are you? I’m a Ms, and have been since I was about 8 years old. I didn’t change my title (or my name) when I got married and this caused some consternation amongst some of the older members of my family.

This made me realise that most women I know (married or unmarried) use Ms. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone under the age of about 50 who uses ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’. And I’ve never encountered a ‘Mx’. I do have a fairly specific demographic bubble, though.

So, I’m curious, which are you/do you use?

I am (genuinely) fascinated by the answers here and how we live in bubbles. It would be interesting to know location, class, education, voting preference, etc to tie it in with the “I don’t know ANYONE” style answers.

My own bubble – middle-class leftie media-careers sahf London, 30s and 40s – is firmly: 90% Ms, with the exceptions also being exceptions in my social circle (home town friends); 90% of those married kept their name, or their husband changed their name, or they smushed the two names together to come up with a new one. Mrs and name-changing is a double-take, “you did what?!” rarity. New baby daughters take Ms and mothers’ names or double barrels or the smushed-together new name as a matter of course.

Dr.

Worth writing the dissertation just to have a comeback for the question "is that miss or mrs...", which is basically the only time I use the title. Hoping to up the game to Prof one day :)

Mind you, I remember when I was a child being taught that when writing to a married woman you should address a letter to "Mrs [her husband's initials] [her surname]". I'm 45.

Mrs - I'm late 40s though, so near your cut-off!

I've never met a Mx.

From birth to marriage I used Miss (my DD is Miss) when married at 35 I changed to Mrs.
i don't know what others use, it's not something we speak about in general.
My mum used Mrs but prefers Ms.

Age 40, married, Mrs. I have no idea what my friends use as I don't send them formal letters 🤷‍♀️

I'm married and I am Ms My name (not his) and - shockingly I am beyond the age of 50.

also way beyond 50 and also have always been a Ms. Hisname, unfortunately, due to an administrative error i don't mind, it's quite a nice name. I got into the Ms when my mum started using it in the 70s, when she was narked at not being able to get a credit card or a mortgage in her name despite earning twice what my dad did. The scandal when people thought she was divorced. Credit to my dad - he fully supported it.

If i can choose Mx (or here in Germany "Div" - short for diverse) in preference to other female indicators, i do. If i can leave it blank, i do. Sometimes I'll choose Reverend or something just to mix it up.

I'm married and am Ms (my name). Pretty much everyone else I know is Mrs (his name). I'm in my 50s and it definitely feels like I'm making a point when I say my name is Ms not Mrs. Not really sure what point though!

How often do you use the title though? I'm a Mrs as I wasn't really that aware of other options when I got married many moons ago but if anyone asks my name I just use first/second name.

Early forties. I've been a Ms since my teens. Been married for over a decade and kept my surname too, kids have DHs surname as their surname and my surname as a middle name.

Work colleagues are usually Ms or Mrs. The only Miss I know is DD1s teacher.

I'm a Mrs, Miss before I was married. Nothing wrong with Ms, but I don't know any friends who go by it, either family, friends or a large number of work colleagues. Must be the area.

I’m 51 and have always been a Ms, though I get called Mrs a lot by DD’s teachers, doctors, etc.

Most of my friends are Ms, too, for feminist reasons.

Mid-30s. If I have to use a title I use Ms (or if I'm ordering something and there's a long drop down list of possible titles I just choose something fun like Admiral) but I am glad I moved to a country that doesn't use titles (except for professional ones) - I am just my name, not a marital status.

It's a choice. No one forces us to choose which to use.
Everytime this comes up the thread is full of the....how dare they force us to announce marital status... comments, but no one is forced to do anything.

Yes. You do sometimes have to choose. And that is where i like to mix it up. If you are doing something online there is frequently (ime, more often than not) a compulsory box to select "Mr, Miss, Mrs" and sometimes no other options. I will always be a Mr in that case. If you can get away with leaving that one blank (IME more often than not you can't) i leave it blank.

German forms are more complicated - you choose Herr/Frau and increasingly also Div, as "form of address" and then you get your Title (which does include Prof. Dr. Dr. which i am always tempted to pick).

PP mentioned being in Ireland and the school never using "Mrs" - do they just use your first name? That wouldn't happen here unless you were absolute best friends for life with the teacher.

as for Mx being an indicator of a particular ideology. Not always. I will pick Mx where i can (if i can't leave it blank) because it is literally none of the Royal Mail online stamp thing's business if I'm a woman or a man, let alone if I'm married or not.

I'm 38, Scottish, have always used Ms and so does almost everyone I know.

Another Dr here with a PhD so 'proper' doctor rather than the medical courtesy title (which is why consultants go back to Mr). Was Dr before I was married and didn't change my name on marriage. Majority of my friends and colleagues are also Dr but obviously I know that's specific to my social group.

The irony with the Scottish posters who claim everyone is 'Mrs hisname' is that that is an imported English tradition, women didn't change their names on marriage in Scotland historically and gravestones always have women's maiden names on them.

Ms since my teens, always will be. I’m in my 50s.

In my entire life, I've never met anyone who uses 'Ms.' I try to avoid using anything at all.

This pretty much sums up my experience.

I don’t use a title.
I am simply first name middle name surname.
If pushed ie form filling in and no option to refuse/leave blank then I vary between Ms or Mrs.
When I take information from people I never, ever ask for a title just name. Letters do not go out with titles either it serves no purpose.
I’m positive that the person who delivers the letters does not hesitate when they see a letter addressed to Laura Jones rather than Miss Laura Jones.
I’m always bemused when I’m asked for a title and it seems to be men who ask.

I’m 34, married and Ms “mylastnamenothis”. I’ve been Ms since I was around 18 and called the opticians to make an appointment and they said “Mrs or Miss?” and I thought “Why on earth do they need that for an eye appointment?” and “if my brother called up they’d just have asked him for his name”. Made me realise how antiquated it was.

I think a generally good rule of thumb is to ask whether, if we were going to create a system now (in this case people’s titles) would we do it the same way? I just don’t think we’d create a distinction between married and unmarried women and not for men (yes there is the whole Master vs Mr thing but no-one actually refers to an unmarried man as Master now do they!).

Dr or Ms my surname. In my 50s and married.

This thread has made me realise that I don't actually know what title my friends use!

Mrs.

Before that I was Miss.

I'd never use Ms or Mx.

Fun nerdy fact, Miss, Mrs and Ms are all abbreviations of the same word - mistress.

Ms.
And I'm old.

I should add that that doesn’t stop older members of my or my husband’s family sending letters or cards addressed to “Mrs Hisname” now that we’re married. I don’t bother correcting them - it’s an assumption based on their own experience and will probably eventually die out. I just address cards to “First name and first name” if I’m unsure of their preference.