Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx?

[Cherchezlaspice]

Which are you? I’m a Ms, and have been since I was about 8 years old. I didn’t change my title (or my name) when I got married and this caused some consternation amongst some of the older members of my family.

This made me realise that most women I know (married or unmarried) use Ms. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone under the age of about 50 who uses ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’. And I’ve never encountered a ‘Mx’. I do have a fairly specific demographic bubble, though.

So, I’m curious, which are you/do you use?

I'm in my 50s, married a long time. I'm quite happy with both Mrs and Ms, and use both depending on the context. Ms at work always, Mrs for family stuff as I chose to change my name on marriage. It did feel weird using Mrs at first at that was my MIL, but I'm more comfortable with it now she's no longer with us. The only thing I object to is getting Mrs (his initial) Surname on letters, it's so old fashioned but thankfully only done by very elderly relatives on cards I'm looking at you, DM

Thank you Cherchezlaspice for explaining, really had not heard of it before. When you think about it titles serve no purpose at all.

Always been Miss but I’m now changing everything to Ms after reading this thread. Can’t believe I’m in my mid 30s and it’s never bloody occurred to me that as a female it’s used to determine my marital status where as men have no such thing. F*ck that. Also just want to reiterate my utter stupidity in the matter, cannot believe I haven’t done this sooner. I’m an absolute dipshit.

I use Ms. I’ve never heard of Mx! How would you even say that??

I think it’s pronounced “twat” but I’m not sure tbh

Dr, if I use a title at all. Mostly I just use my name without a title, but if I have to use one I like the fact that Dr reveals neither my marital status nor my sex.
If, as a PP mentioned, it's not an option in a drop down menu somewhere then I pick Ms. I am married so Miss is technically incorrect but I didn't change my name so Mrs Myname would be wrong and Mrs Hisname doesn't exist.

Mix.

I use Miss. I don’t use my birth name any it’s more, but as I’ve never been legally married, I use Miss.

My pleasure. 😊

What on Earth is your problem?

Underclass user of the Ms title here. Its not just a middle class thing.

Hopefully Mr, Miss, Ms titles will disappear a long time before then. What purpose do they serve exactly?

But I don't understand how people can not have come across Mx before, a significant minority of major websites have it on the list of titles when registering.

I'm mrs ( DH surname) over 50 but I really didn't give it too much thought to be honest.

@DontTrustThisPoster Brilliant! (giggles)

I get really annoyed by companies who don't use a title. I'm not too bothered about the envelope - the only point of that is that it gets to me - but when the letter is addressed as "Dear Laura" that annoys me. I do not know the person therefore I expect "Dear Miss Jones."

Same as you, OP. Didn’t change my name on marriage and have always used Ms. I am in my early 50s. However, I would say most people who are married use Mrs.

Always gone by Miss

I’m 60 and a Ms

Introduce yourself to the feminist boards and discussions on gender and why gender terms are damaging to womens rights and spaces and you’ll understand.

Ideally I would like us all to go by ‘Citizen’

So I'm interested to know (genuine question), would such feminists go by Mx to avoid being categorised by their gender?

Because I had assumed this term was mainly for non-binary people (who sometimes subscribe to a world view which is at odds with that of GC feminists so it would seem to me we have two opposing views grouped together using the same honorific?)

To all those posters who think it's such a big deal that their marital status is none of anyone's business, what do you do when you meet new people, say through work or whatever and the chit chat goes in the direction of marriage? How does the conversation go?
Are you married?
Mind your own business.
Is that what happens?

I'm married, I don't care who knows. When I was single I didn't mind people knowing. I've been widowed, that was a bit awkward because I was young and people didn't know how to react but I didn't mind them knowing and now I'm married again, that piece of information isn't a secret either.
Just like people are just making conversation, online companies just want to know how to address correspondence. If they address things as Mrs Hisname, MN is up in arms. If they ask what you prefer, that's not OK either!

That wasn't my understanding, and would seem to be at odds with a climate in which so much pressure is exerted to announce our pronouns (and therefore our 'gender identity', if we can be said to identify with one of these) at every turn. 'Mx' is a title I've only seen used by people who claim to be non-binary and want a 'genderless' title which reflects that they don't identify with either masculine or feminine gender stereotypes.

By that definition, two thirds of the planet are probably non-binary. Or rather, they would be if they cared to spend their time navel-gazing and prevaricating over what they consider their identity to be, how others perceive them, and who aside from themselves could care less.

I have no desire to hide the fact that I'm married. I wear my wedding ring with pride, as does my DH. I just don't see any reason why women should be expected to announce their sexual status (and yes, that's what it is, where else does the repulsive term 'maiden' name come from?) in casual encounters when men are not. I also have my own name, and see no reason why committing to one partner for life makes me an adjunct to their own identity when I have a perfectly good one of my own. As it happens, I'm much better known in my profession than DH is in his, and have publications and publicly grant-funded projects circulating under my name.

As for casual encounters, I've been working, conferencing, meeting people and doing the 'small talk' thing for many years now, and not once during all those encounters have I been asked whether I'm married. If I were, I'd assume that person was propositioning me: it's not a topic that naturally comes up in 'chit chat' and, if asked, would actually sound quite odd.

An appropriate response might be: 'Why?'

Same.

Mind you, it's not uncommon on here for people to decide that things they don't approve of are middle class.

As for casual encounters, I've been working, conferencing, meeting people and doing the 'small talk' thing for many years now, and not once during all those encounters have I been asked whether I'm married

There’s no need to ask. You have a ring on your finger.