Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Curtseying and bowing...

139 replies

FlowerArranger · 20/09/2022 16:25

Time to stop it, surely?

I could kind of understand it while the Queen was alive, as she was of a different era and used to it, probably considering it part and parcel of being the monarch.

But now? Have we not moved on? It just seems inappropriate and demeaning.

OP posts:
blubberyboo · 20/09/2022 22:19

@MimosaSunrise

the monarch is the commander in chief of the army so in that respect it makes perfect sense why there is a sign of respect. Bow curtsy salute etc

activediscussions · 20/09/2022 22:23

I remember seeing Theresa May curtsy to then Prince William and thought it was ridiculous. He was born into privilege, she was the PM of the fecking country and had worked to get to where she is.

Harpydragon · 20/09/2022 22:25

flowerycurtain · 20/09/2022 20:58

Where did curtsying come from? I get bowing but why did women not just bow? Who first did it. When did it become a thing? Why a curtesy not an arm wave?

off to google history of the curtesy!

This is because women wore corsets and it was difficult for them to bore, so they curtseyed instead.

Euridicefortuna · 20/09/2022 22:25

I was enamoured by Princess Anne curtseying at her mum's coffin.I would have fallen apart;she was so dignified, it was deeply moving.Perfect symbol of respect from a loving Princess to her Queen.

Some west African parents require their children to curtsey to them as a mark of respect.I couldn't do it,it's not in me to be so submissive.

Original poster
FlowerArranger · 20/09/2022 22:36

activediscussions · 20/09/2022 22:23

I remember seeing Theresa May curtsy to then Prince William and thought it was ridiculous. He was born into privilege, she was the PM of the fecking country and had worked to get to where she is.

OMG - Theresa May - yes!! Or Vanessa Redgrave, of all people!

I realise that curtsying is not obligatory, but as things stand, many people still seem to think that it is expected, especially in formal settings. It somehow seems 'safer' to curtsy than not!

I'd like the King to make a clear statement that he'd prefer it if people didn't bow or curtsey. Especially curtseying, which just looks ridiculous - unless you're a ballet dancer.

If the royals want to continue this charade amongst themselves it's no skin off my back. As long as they put it to a vote (within the family) and all votes are equal (ie Meghan's and Lady Louise's votes count as much as KC's...)

OP posts:
CraftyGin · 20/09/2022 22:38

We used to curtsey to our teachers in primary school in the 1970s.

maximist · 20/09/2022 22:39

I would have curtseyed to the late Queen had I ever met her, but I don't think I would to any of the others. With the possible exception of Princess Anne, because I respect her hugely.

ReneBumsWombats · 20/09/2022 22:40

FlowerArranger · 20/09/2022 22:36

OMG - Theresa May - yes!! Or Vanessa Redgrave, of all people!

I realise that curtsying is not obligatory, but as things stand, many people still seem to think that it is expected, especially in formal settings. It somehow seems 'safer' to curtsy than not!

I'd like the King to make a clear statement that he'd prefer it if people didn't bow or curtsey. Especially curtseying, which just looks ridiculous - unless you're a ballet dancer.

If the royals want to continue this charade amongst themselves it's no skin off my back. As long as they put it to a vote (within the family) and all votes are equal (ie Meghan's and Lady Louise's votes count as much as KC's...)

Show quote history

The Palace has had a "clear statement" for years.
"There are no obligatory codes of behaviour when meeting The Queen or a member of the Royal Family, but many people wish to observe the traditional forms. For men this is a neck bow (from the head only) whilst women do a small curtsy. Other people prefer simply to shake hands in the usual way."

Kendodd · 20/09/2022 22:44

I agree.
The only people you should routinely bow to is an audience at the end of a show.

nildesparandum · 20/09/2022 22:45

No human being should be bowed or curtseyed to.Especially in church.

nokidshere · 20/09/2022 22:45

I met the queen 3 times, the first in 1977 and even back then there was no requirement to curtesy. If people want to it's up to them, just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean everyone else should stop doing what they want.

ReneBumsWombats · 20/09/2022 22:46

And the King isn't going to tell people what he would prefer them to do, because the whole point is that people decide for themselves. Some people like keeping with tradition like that, so he's not going to tell them they shouldn't. Others don't and he's not going to tell them what they should do either.

Wouldlovetobeinthesun · 20/09/2022 22:54

My friend's daughter has to curtsey to her school headmistress. It's not something I would ever do, let alone teach my daughter to do.

Surtsey · 20/09/2022 22:58

Like another pp, I was taught how to curtsey in the 1970's. I think we learned in the brownies or girl guides. I also did ballet as a kid, not very well mind, and we did it there too. I recently took up ballet again as a creaky ancient, and at the end of each class we curtsey to the teacher as a thank you for teaching us. It is just a convention, and there's nothing obsequious or subordinate about it at all.

If you've never been shown, you can end up looking rather ungainly, or are about to lay an egg. 🐓

If you don't want to bow or curtsey, then don't. Nobody will be bothered.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2022 23:01

No way would I be doing it.

True it isn’t mandatory, but it’s very frowned upon by all of the MSM if you don’t do it. So it kind of excludes you from public life in the UK, political roles mainly i mean, if you’re not prepared to do it.

I think curtsying is particularly demeaning tbh.

Surtsey · 20/09/2022 23:05

frowned upon by all of the MSM

Sorry, @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing - who or what is MSM?

MrsMoastyToasty · 20/09/2022 23:08

When I was at school we had to curtsey to the Lady Mayoress when she presented the prizes on Founder's Day.

Blossomtoes · 20/09/2022 23:18

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

I wouldn’t feel demeaned if I curtseyed, ergo it wouldn’t demean me.

UghNoTime · 20/09/2022 23:19

Imagine being the type of person that is happy to have people bow or curtesy at you? If anyone did that to me I'd tell them to stop. Obviously the royals all do it to each other. It's in all their interests to perpetuate that type of nonsense. It's pathetic and outdated.

Saluting higher ranks in the forces is a different matter.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 20/09/2022 23:20

This has already been posted about several times this past week...

YABU to start ANOTHER thread about it.

As you were.

Sparklingbrook · 20/09/2022 23:24

I haven’t seen any curtesy or not threads until this one. I’m on team not.

StoneofDestiny · 20/09/2022 23:38

It's a ridiculously obsequious and outdated practice, and I'm amazed in this day and age that anyone's willing to demean themselves enough to do it

absolutely

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/09/2022 00:03

StoneofDestiny · 20/09/2022 23:38

It's a ridiculously obsequious and outdated practice, and I'm amazed in this day and age that anyone's willing to demean themselves enough to do it

absolutely

PMSL.

agriefobserved · 21/09/2022 00:27

I guarantee if you met King Charles you would curtsey or at least bow to him.

You might curse yourself afterwards for not sticking to your guns, but you'd do it.

MrsFezziwig · 21/09/2022 00:35

True it isn’t mandatory, but it’s very frowned upon by all of the MSM if you don’t do it.

Well that would have me quaking in my boots.

Swipe left for the next trending thread