AIBU about the hamster

[OhMondayMonday]

DS’s birthday coming up and he’s been asking for a kitten. We’ve said no for various reasons.

DH leaves all the birthday planning (parties, presents, cake etc) to me. Same for Xmas. I generally do it all without his input and he thanks me on the day. This morning he called from work and i mentioned DS was talking about kittens again and that i might pop out and get a hamster. I’d mentioned it a couple of times in recent weeks. He did not object, didn’t even comment. It was a quick chat. I have popped out, bought hamster and he is set up at home. Sent DH a picture.

DH has gone apoplectic. Has demanded I get rid of it before kids see it. Absolutely doesn’t want it in house. Furious I did not consult him. His explanation is he hates hamsters.

I have apologised saying i had no idea he felt like this and asked him to reconsider. I’ve let him know I can’t get rid of hamster today.

It’s very cute and we can give it a happy home. DH does not need to go near it. Kids love animals and are at the age where they can learn about taking responsibility etc…under my supervision. We can afford it so that’s not an issue. DS will have no present for his birthday tomorrow if DH insists hamster goes.

Aibu for insisting hamster stays?

Your later posts suggest, as MN would say, you don’t have a DHamster problem, you have a DH problem. Sorry OP.

@OhMondayMonday sorry you've had such a tough day. Big unmumsnetty hugs, sounds like you've a lot to think about going forward. Best of luck.

I don't know why men do this with listening!!

We are planning to get a rabbit. I've been super excited and doing lots of research. Told DP who of course agrees as he knows I am a bit of a small pet obsessive. But I told him and explicitly showed him where I planned to set up rabbit's enclosure in our room (initially while rabbit is a baby). Have been talking about it loads.

Then yesterday I was sorting some stuff out saying I'm clearing this corner for the bunny and he looks at me all shocked and surprised saying "wait... is the rabbit not going downstairs??". I had said so many times about this!!

Of course DP is not a twat though so he just laughed and ever so slightly begrudgingly agreed as it doesn't really impact him so would be a weird thing to kick off about. And I have to say I feel like your DH is being so unreasonable in his response that it's a bit worrying

I really hope it comes to light that he has some deep seated hamster related trauma as I can't see any justification at all. It's also so joyless I couldn't live like that..

When I was little, I desperately wanted a Fimo modelling clay set with gold and silver dust to work into the clay. Instead, I got those pictures where you scratch off the black paint to reveal the shit outline of something in coloured foil. That's a bit like what you've just done with your hamster kitten trade off.

But your husband couldn't be bothered to listen, so now you've got a hamster and that's that!

My my daughter's hamster is the loveliest creature ever! We love him. He was so nervous when we first brought him home though, and it would be such a shame for your hamster to go through that again

I was hoping for a happy update. This has made me feel irrationally sad.

Poor little guy.

What exactly does your DH need to explain?

He needs to explain why he responded so aggressively. And he needs to apologise for not listening (a regular occurrence, according to one of the OP's posts) and for treating the OP like a Christmas and birthday PA. And more besides, I don't doubt.