Mrs or Ms after divorce

[NewMeforthemillionthtime]

Just read another thread about name change and a poster asked whether the op referred to herself as Mrs or Ms.

Just wondering about this as I have been divorced for over 10 years and never bothered changing back to my maiden name. My passport, DL bank accounts all say Mrs Married Name.

If I was going to go through the effort of reverting back to my maiden name I would probably also go from Mrs to Ms. But honestly, I love my married name so can't see the fuss with changing my title.

For clarity, my exH doesn't care and neither does my DP.

If you are keeping your married name, have you offiicially changed your title? If so, why?

I don't like Ms or Miss and it would upset me to choose a different surname to my children

The only time I'll change my name is if I remarry and then I'll hyphenate if I do

When you've been married a long time (for me over 15 years and 11 years divorced but sole parent to my DCs) you end up with professional qualifications and professional identity as Mrs Married name

Too much hassle to change it. Don't want to anyway

@MsPincher
You don’t need to do anything to change to Ms though. Just use it.

But I don't want to use Ms
Nor Miss

And my name is my married name so I've kept Mrs

I don't care to change it and there is no legal reason to

At the time of my divorce I'd had my married name for 5 years longer than my maiden name (got married quite young).
The two names were very similar. I kept my married name as it's what I used to build my career. The marriage ended due to ex-H's violence, so some people felt it was odd for me to keep the name. I decided to change my title to Ms.

The thing is it doesn't matter or you use Miss Ms or Mrs
That's a personal choice

It's no one else's business as why do women have to state their marital status ? Men are master them Mr
I was Miss until married
I kept my married name so it comes along with Mrs

In my field as I work mostly with palliative older people, it impacts on how I am spoken to and it's on all my professional certificates and Registrations

I will only change my title if I decide to change my surname

I've not changed mine but will if I remarry. I'm far too lazy to do the paperwork!

I never officially changed, but I'm Ms. I remarried and my DHs exW is Mrs... So no rush for me!

I would love to go back to my maiden name but I would then be different to the DC, which they, and I, wouldn't like.

I considered going back to my maiden name professionally but will just confuse people I think - mostly me!

So I'm Ms. Married Name. I did briefly look at being Mx as I like the way it looks and it's not gender-specific...it's been around since the 70s but is now closely associated with non-binary and trans people, and I'm neither...so Ms will have to do.

I still use my married name but make a point of being a Ms

I think the traditional format is if you are married your are Mrs Joe Bloggs but if you get divorced you are Mrs Sarah Bloggs. That's quite old fashioned though!

If i were to divorce i would retain the same name as my kids and wouldn't really fancy being a miss or ms

I've always been Ms.

No need to advertise marital status.

I did this donkey's years ago now but I'm variously addressed as Miss, Ms and Mrs (maiden name) occasionally, I don't bother to correct anyone.

This thread has made me think a little bit about something I've never thought about...I've realised I use 'miss' because I'm proud of it! I'm proud to be single and a miss at 47. I'm happy we get the choice to declare our marital status, should we wish. There are so so many miserable married women stuck in awful relationships, and one of the main reasons seems to be that it's seen as societal 'failure' not to be married. So, I'm using Miss to show other women I'm single and simultaneously, happy as a pig in shit.

I use Ms. my martial status is no one else's business.

Whatever you like!

To be honest, I feel like I’m a Mrs and I’ve got my birth surname and have always had it - when I was married and now I’m divorced. Like a housekeeper in the old days. Or like all women in sensible countries! Most have done away with the whole “different titles for adult women depending on marital status” thing.

Ms...because I'm neither a Miss or a Mrs.

Ms

I'm still Mrs X2ndH.

Mostly because of all the things there are to worry about in the world, what I'm addressed as is waaaayyyy down at the bottom of the list. It just doesn't bother me enough to do anything about it.

I might change it when I've got nothing better to do.

The traditional rule (before "Ms." was widely used, and before same sex marriages were legally acknowledged) was that a married or widowed woman would be Mrs. Husband's full name (e.g., Mrs. Robert Jones) while a divorced woman continuing to use the surname would use Mrs. with her first name (e.g., Mrs. Sarah Jones). That theoretically prevented there being two Mrs. Robert Joneses at the same time if Robert remarried after a divorce. Once upon a time it would have been considered rude to (for example) address a wedding invitation to "Mrs. Sarah Jones" if Sarah was still married to, or widowed from, Robert.

(Thankfully, almost no one still follows these rules!)

Ms was originally brought in to stop women being defined by their marital status, neutral like Mr. I was irritated at work to find that it had just added another layer. Never married women were listed as Miss, married women as Mrs and divorced women as Ms. so it didn’t really achieve its purpose. I think you can choose whichever you prefer. Perhaps all adult women should be either Mrs or Miss?

I'm unmarried, never have been.
Get called Miss, Ms and Mrs despite what I tell people so it really makes no odds.

Just don't call me ma'am - that really gets my hackles going

I kept my married name for several reasons after my divorce:

1. For the time being, I'd rather have the same name as my kids.
2. The complete administrative faff of changing my name back, particularly as:
3. I'm likely to marry my current partner at some stage, so I'd want to change it again in the future anyhow to his surname.
4. I prefer my married surname to my maiden name, and it's how I think of myself now.

Completely missed the point of the post! lol I go by Ms now rather than Mrs.

I am a Ms and my female children are also Ms on their documents and bank accounts. My marital status and theirs is irrelevant.

I also hate the term maiden name. It means virgin name. Birth name is far better.

My mum is divorced for 40 years and uses Mrs. MarriedName.
I am married, kept my surname and am variously called Miss or Ms. My old boss once told me off for having Miss on my payslip (no idea, HR error I guess) and ever since then I rather like Miss.

I remember Cher in Mask being asked if she was Miss, Ms or Mrs and saying "I'm none of those things." Same. It's only now you HAVE to tick things on stupid online forms.

I loved it when old timey Hollywood stars were called Miss at awards/talk shows. "Ladies and Gentlemen Miss Elizabeth Taylor!" Even though they'd been married a gazillion times.