to be so angered by all of this?

[TheLadyEvenStar]

grrrrrrrrrrrr @ today i am having a tantrum today. sod the kids doing it it is my turn and i don't care who knows it. First of all i get benefits because of my depression (have to admit since having ds2 it has been better) anyway i have not had any money since 2nd jan when the claim was suspended due to a muck up in the office. So 10am they call today to tell me that i need to go to office at 11.20 today. dp says i will take you get me up in time so at 10.40 i make him a cup of tea, and call him. he starts moaning at 11.05 that i should have already left ffs he said he would take me.So i call them to say i am running late but will be there in 5 minutes they cancel my appt and make it for 3.40 today!!!! but dp will be up and out of fucking bed to run to his ex and give her money when i have got my payment well it ain't happening...and if it does she will get £50 and be happy with it i have 2 children here to think about. Also last august he lent a work colleague £200 and although they have been paid 5 times since then this bloke hasn't paid it back and i am getting more infuriated by it by the day. have told dp either he asks for it or i will we have no fcuking money and i am not subsidising other people......so now i am back indoors with the hump and about to have a coffee and cigarette. also dp's older son won't see us unless we have the money to take him out and i have said this is wrong, do can't see this arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok i knew that was gonna happen!
you do realise youve set yourself up here dont you!
how can you expect dp to pay for your ds1 when he isnt his? his responsabilty is therefore aimed at ds1 with ex and ds2 with you
does your exdp pay for your ds1? and if not why not you seem keen enough to put dps ds1 to one side does your exdp do the same how does that make you feel?

ok hope you understood that! bit hard to follow!

Em, My problem is not him paying for his ds it is the fact that the child does not want to see him unless he has money to take him out and not to places like museums but theme parks. Because of this we do not see him because we cannot afford to do this every week. No my ds's father doesn't pay for him and doesn't see him either he hasn't done for most of the last 7 yrs. My ds doesn't have a problem with not seeing his father nor do i have a problem with it in fact i am pleased. Anyway to clear things up dp and i had a chat last night and cleared the air a lot, He agrees with me over the way his ds is and is not happy about it either but didn;t want to admit it. Also I don't expect ANYONE to pay for my ds, but as dp is about to adopt him then his responsibilty does lie with all of the children.

Classy post, newyorkdolls.

Just an update here. After lengthy discussions last night with me and dp having a first hand experience with ex over his ds today he is now aware of what i was saying being totally true.

He called ex to say money would be taken tomorrow and could he see ds soon and was told well he is away with cadets at the moment. So he asked if he could see him when he came back....ex replied yes if you are taking him out he will come but he doesn't want to visit you all for you all to stay at home. he wants to go out somewhere. Dp explained that with ds birthday coming up as well as mine and this being a tight month the furthest we would be likely to go was the park. Ex then told him that was not good enough as HER ds is too old to go to the park and anyway when he gets back he will have other things to do like see his friends (he has been away for 4 days) and catch up with them. So dp asked when he could see him he was told well if you have the money to take him out next month then i am sure you will see him. He then asked her about holiday dates as we are planning a holiday (only to gt yarmouth but better than none)He was told yes she had the dates but didn't know them so he would have to ask ds, he then said but i need to know so i can book....she again told him she didn't know....he then asked about having ds during october half term as we are going to halkidiki in greece and he was told go ahead and book and if i decide he can come then i will let you know nearer the time. But it would be better if you don't make any plans involving him and your new family.

Oh and for the record for those of you who think i am bitter towards the fact that dp pays for his child it was me who convinced him to make monthly payments rather than get calls every 5 - 6 weeks saying ds needed new school shoes, cadet uniform, this that or the other. I also encouraged him to keep asking about seeing him when he had all but given up because ex kept putting reasons there for him not to see him...and that was happening before i came along.