To think being a single parent makes some things almost impossible?

@foxy123 exactly or even if they don't expect it, you feel obligated and it's just another pressure

This - all the single parents i know have famoly/friends who they can call on for help

Your situation is not the same for all single parents, having no other reliable support network at all is not the case for all.

It doesn't mean all single parents have someone to call on just because all the ones you know do. Ffs.

Really hope you're ok op.

A local church is a ready-made village.

As others have said, you really need to set up some emergency back up.
How long have you been a single parent for?
I ask because I'm surprised you don't already have things set up, or have been in this situation before.

This - all the single parents i know have famoly/friends who they can call on for help

And?

So that means OP is wrong, not telling the truth, what?

Could it be she's not the same as all the single parents you know?

🙄

There is a difference to being a single parent and being a parent with no friends or family.

This. It takes my DH up to 2 hours to get home from work in the middle of the day. In an emergency he wouldn't be who the DC would be left with, it would be a friend, neighbour, family member, usual babysitter etc.

Post doesn't sound right.

OP I know it's not much help now but i recommend making up an emergency bag ie clothes, chargers, anything to keep DC entertained, money, medicine, snacks ready so when something happens you can just grab it and not have to worry you've forgotten something
I'm a single parent and when i'm ill I have to take my DS with me

Just because you experienced that, doesn’t mean ‘villages’ no longer exist. You just know horrible people.

Yep and all the threads where posters don’t want to continue a friendship because their friend has a child with autism or SEN and they can’t deal with it.

This! I'm not in the same situation at all but struggled after my second was born and lots of friends offered to have my eldest for play dates which was lovely but without fail after a few weeks they all asked when their child could come to us for a play date in return which meant not only was I struggling with my 2 but someone else's child too. Vividly remember getting sucked in to having one for a sleepover and their parents sending me photos of their night out on the town. I was on my knees with a baby who didn't sleep and it almost broke me.
It's all very well saying get people to help but they mainly expect it to be reciprocal.

This! I'm not in the same situation at all but struggled after my second was born and lots of friends offered to have my eldest for play dates which was lovely but without fail after a few weeks they all asked when their child could come to us for a play date in return which meant not only was I struggling with my 2 but someone else's child too. Vividly remember getting sucked in to having one for a sleepover and their parents sending me photos of their night out on the town. I was on my knees with a baby who didn't sleep and it almost broke me.
It's all very well saying get people to help but they mainly expect it to be reciprocal.

To all the posters pointing out all the other single parents who have fabulous support networks. How do you think this is a helpful or empathetic response?

Are you really so obtuse that you think the OP title was a neutral factual question? Did you really not understand that her post is a desperate cry of stress and exhaustion and alone-ness?

OP as others have said, you are doing a good job in near impossible circumstances. Take heart from those who have seen you on this thread. I hope your son is okay.

This! I'm not in the same situation at all but struggled after my second was born and lots of friends offered to have my eldest for play dates which was lovely but without fail after a few weeks they all asked when their child could come to us for a play date in return which meant not only was I struggling with my 2 but someone else's child too. Vividly remember getting sucked in to having one for a sleepover and their parents sending me photos of their night out on the town. I was on my knees with a baby who didn't sleep and it almost broke me.
It's all very well saying get people to help but they mainly expect it to be reciprocal.

So what????

What a stupid fucking post. Why did you bother writing that @Youcancallmeirrelevant ?

The op doesn't have help and im sure your vast experience of single parents means fuck all to her. If you cant be supportive and a smidge understanding of the op, go away and keep your wisdom to yourself.

OP don't panic - every hospital I've ever been in has had a cash machine.

It is exhausting, but I think its less a single parent thing and more about your family being unreliable and feeling you can't rely on friends. The idea that you "owe" people favours is not how friendship works. As long as you are not a piss taker with a "crisis" every week, proper friends don't mind stepping in in a crisis and aren't keeping tally of who "owes" who.

Exactly this.

You can "hear" the desperation in @Faithin's posts. OF COURSE not all single parents have this situation, I don't as I am lucky to have a supportive family. But this is HER situation and it frankly sounds so, so difficult.

Yanbu. I'm a single parent, have been for the best part of 13 years
DC are 15 and 18 now so can be left. But I remember the struggle of doing anything when they were small. And I had "a village" (hate that term)
But in the middle of the night? Or any time after about 10pm? Not so much. Dad would have had a drink. Mum would be going to bed, although would come out for an emergency.

I hope your DS has been seen and is OK.

all the single parents i know have famoly/friends who they can call on for help

@Youcancallmeirrelevant you posted this after reading posts by single parents here saying why this wasn't as easy as all that? Honestly, tone deaf, and yes, I call you irrelevant.

I think people expect help to be reciprocal when its regular. Even then I don't think people necessarily expect the exact same thing in return. I can't do weekday playdates due to my work pattern. People still invite my kids knowing this. I make sure i am the first to buy drinks at the parents social evening for school, and offer to do other things I CAN do,

I think as long as you show appreciation however you can, people don't mind helping in one off/crisis situations. Its when someone's "crisis" is every wednesday when they work & they don't want to pay for ASC.

God they are all out. You talk as if 'setting up a network' was just an item to add to a to-do list 🙄

God they are all out. You talk as if 'setting up a network' was just an item to add to a to-do list 🙄

Yes! This

Hi I only have one kid but i was in similar position myself a few years ago - was told by 111 to take my 1yo to A&E because of v high fever. ( I’m a very single parent too with no family in the town where I worked and we didn’t have a car.). We waited for hours and hours without being seen, my kid was crying his head off and I was shattered. Eventually I just walked out - I reckoned I could give him better care at home than he wasn’t getting at the hospital. But then of course to add insult to injury there were no cabs or buses at that time so we walked all the way home with his pushchair at 3am!!

The good news is that it is an extreme single parenting situation - it does honestly get a lot better as they grow up a bit and you make more adult friends who can provide mutual support. I recommend joining Gingerbread and Frolo in your area which are great for meeting other single parents, and also get to know your neighbours because they can be lifesavers.