To think being a single parent makes some things almost impossible?

[Faithin]

Have had to take my youngest to a&e, which means I've had to take my eldest (9 years old) along too because there is no one to watch him
It's now 2am and we've been here for 5 hours and we are on the edge of a massive meltdown happening and there's literally nothing at all I can do, no one I can call to come and get him or to help so I just have to let it happen basically.
I don't know why I'm even going to do if he kicks off on the middle of the a&e childrens waiting room.
No real point to this post but I am just really stuck and sick of being in situations where I am stuck, just venting really

[Marvellousmadness]

Sounds like you shouldnt be in the emergency room at all tbh.

And you NEED to get people in your village. I hate that expression.

one doesnt need a village to raise a kid. But you DO need 1 person to be a back up in case you really need it.

And also:you dont need physical money for a taxi op. Not since years ...

[EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall]

Of course she should be in a &e if a child is saying something is stuck in their throat

It's very hard to build even a one person village when you have a child with sen, especially if it's the child with sen who you need to leave with someone!

Lots of taxis take card payments since covid now so hopefully you'll be OK op

[Wingingit15]

Op, I’m a single parent and totally understand. I have friends locally but no one I feel I could call in the night, and it would be a taxi for three too,
there are things that are much more difficult as a SP of more than one kid! Even mundane Eg teaching eldest to ride bike.in your scenario, when you’re shattered from being at a and e, no one to take over so you can rest today etc. i understand, it’s relentless.
hope you get sorted xx

[brittanyfairies]

Hi OP I hope you and your DC are well. I completely understand how you feel I am a single parent to two DCs, my oldest also with ASD. I was completely alone in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language. It's so difficult and my heart goes out to you. I understand people saying build a village, but it's not so easy when you're at work all day, sorting out kids at night, trying to stay afloat and not sink under the shit that falls on you on a daily basis.

BUT it will get better, I promise you. My DCs are big now, but I was alone with them since the youngest was 12 months. They have left home, they are amazing young men. I watched my oldest the other day, stop what he was doing to go and give a homeless guy some money and kind words, and I thought to myself I did that, I brought up that kind young man.

Funnily enough I have my village now, but only after the DCs were old enough to leave alone for a couple of hours so I could go to a fitness class or the library or places where I could meet people.

I wish you all the best of luck, it's really not easy being a lone parent but the rewards are so very worth it.

[teaginandlaughter]

Sending love and hugs! I can't imagine how stressful this must have been for you. My parents live abroad and I had to take my then 17 month old baby to a&e in the middle of the night. My ex didn't come to the hospital and I was just so exhausted...(had covid and so did my child)! Being a single parent is one of the most demanding roles in the world. I can't say anything to make it better but I see you and appreciate everything you are going through xxxx

[SpidersAreShitheads]

Hey OP, I hope you've been seen now - that all sounds really stressful.

I was a single parent, and I have twins with SEN (autism/dyspraxia/ADHD) so I get how tough it is. I really do sympathise.

Do you have a SEN community where you live? If not, have you thought about setting one up - even if it's just a Facebook chat group? We started one here where I live and over the last few years, it's been an invaluable source of support. You don't need your DC to be friends, it's about you connecting with other parents who "get it" even if they're in a couple.

I always feel like an outsider but this SEN community of parents has a mix of every family structure you can imagine, and has made the world of difference to all of us. I think it would really really help in your circumstances.

Ps - completely off the subject, does your younger one have SEN too? My DS used to cram his mouth full due to sensory issues, and we ended up at A&E with food stuck in his throat too! We had to watch him really really carefully whenever he ate for years after!

[TibetanTerrah]

The cab number at my a&e takes cards because they know no one expects to end up in hospital and doesn't have time to draw cash out before, so they all take cards

sorryyou're going through this

[user478965227857]

Reported.

Not carrying cash in 2022 is not scamming 🙄

[user478965227857]

I'm sorry OP.

I hear you.

I am in the same boat as you. Was in A&E for 14! Hours the other day and had to bring dc with me.

I don't know what to suggest but I just want you to know that you're being heard.

[squealornosqueal]

How is your child now OP?

[Spicycurry]

This thread is MN at its finest, isn’t it?

Your child isn’t ill.
Are you a scammer?
Get a village.



I am not a single parent, luckily.

I sort of have a village. I don’t have my own parents any more, so I have tried really hard to build a village of friends.

I still don’t have anyone I could call in the middle of the night to sit with my SEN child, funny that, what a rubbish village. Or just one made of ordinary people.

[America12]

No it doesn't

[Destinationdestination]

I hope you got home ok and that your son is alright. I’m sorry you didn’t have the support you needed. 💐

[crochetmonkey74]

This thread makes me ashamed of mumsnet at the moment.
Lonely woman in a difficult situation reaches put and immediately gets hostility and didactic patronising.
To the posters hectoring and being so cold , you wouldn't do this in person (I hope) why do you think it's OK to do it online??

[Sunnyqueen]

Ask for a taxi that takes card if there are none get it to reroute to nearest cashpoint then home.

I completely sympathise. I have family and friends but A) not one of them would pick up the phone at 2am and B) they couldn't have my SEN child anyway. So despite having a 'village' I would still be in the same boat as you but people who are fortunate can't get their heads round it.
As for acquiring more 'village' I'm more likely to win the lottery or be struck by lightning at this point.

[autienotnaughty]

Our local hospital has a taxi rank connected to it that's 24 hr if they don't take card you will have to drive to a cash point. Good luck.

[wildseas]

im a single parent so I get it - unless you’ve done it then it’s so hard to understand- ignore the unhelpful responses.

i hope that you’ve been seen and are safe home asleep. Nights like that don’t happen often but they’re ridiculously difficult x

[WhatNoRaisins]

It always gets me how on threads like this people endlessly talk about getting a village when there are so many posts on this site about how hard it is to make friends as an adult or how you don't need friends when you have a husband or how all your free time should be "family time".

Are we really surprised why so many people can't find a village when only giving a shit about your husband and kids is so normalised?

[Lemons1571]

@Spicycurry

This thread is MN at its finest, isn’t it?

Your child isn’t ill.
Are you a scammer?
Get a village.



I am not a single parent, luckily.

I sort of have a village. I don’t have my own parents any more, so I have tried really hard to build a village of friends.

I still don’t have anyone I could call in the middle of the night to sit with my SEN child, funny that, what a rubbish village. Or just one made of ordinary people.

i agree. I have a village of sorts too. But there’s no one in my village who is near enough to help in this way, or who’s life circumstances would enable them to merrily hoik themselves out of bed and spend all night looking after my SEN child. People don’t do that if they are expected at work the next day.

in my experience, help from “a village” means the odd hour while you pop to the doctor / dentist.

if you’d woken up one of your village and left your SEN child with them, no doubt you’d get replies on here telling you how it’s not their problem and how selfish you are using them when you can’t repay such a big favour.

[SheldontheWonderSchlong]

Sorry you didn't get much support and understanding OP.
I hope everything is ok now and you have a better day today

[megletthesecond]

Yanbu. It's the nature of the role. I had to wake my 13yr old at 4am one morning to take his younger sister to hospital which was a killer.
My family have moved away and my younger child has challenging behaviour which put a stop to building a village. My neighbours smoke weed and are generally skanky. I also work which prevents me having a good network.

[Happyher]

I was in your position single parent 2 young children and only elderly parents to lean on. I once had to take them with me when I needed emergency doctor. In fact they came everywhere with me until they were old enough to be home alone. We became quite a close knit team. Better times will come but the more you face and deal with the more resilient you become. Don’t be afraid to show your children you are struggling. They will want to help their mum and it makes them appreciate how much you do for them

[WindyKnickers]

MN: Get a village

MN: is my friend a CF for asking me to look after her 9 yo all night and pick her up from A&E at 3am?

I get it OP. My kids father lives locally and at times like these we work well together but the number of times I've had to say no to something because there is just one of me breaks my heart.

[womaninatightspot]

@Relevanceiskey

OP I haven't been in a taxi in the last 6 or 7 years that hasn't taken card! Ask before you get in or when you phone for one but I'd be shocked if they didn't.

I have. My car broke down towed by AA and had to get a taxi. I had my phone with me. No bank card so couldn’t go to an ATM. I did not ask before I got in as I had no other way of getting myself and kids home. He gave me his bank details I transferred the cash online with a tip. Happens all the time apparently.

plan B was empty kids piggy banks and replace later.

[kateandme]

Hopefully your already home. I've never met a cabby recently that don't take cards so let that be one less thing to fear.