to think £200 a week is not excessive shopping bill wise for a family of 6?

[sweetkitty]

This is part of a wider issue of me being fed up of DH and his penny pinching can’t afford it attitude.

DH and I and four teenage DC who eat well like teenage DC. DH has for a while been in charge of doing a weekly Tesco online shop as in his words “I go far too much over budget” so this week he spent £96 on the online shop then I went to Asda with him - the total was another £94 which he wasn’t happy about as it was apparently far too much as he is usually £60. The reason he’s been going to Asda is Tesco keep missing things/don’t have the range. Now I said to him I think we should start buying in bulk to try and reduce costs a bit instead of for example buying the smallest box of Ariel pods he always buys as he think they are cheaper let’s buy a huge box of Persil powder instead. I also stocked up the good cupboards. Bit as the DC are always saying there’s not a lot in for quick snacks etc.

That was no alcohol or pet items as I buy all the pet items out of my money and usually go to Home Bargains and stock up on cleaning products and the like once a month. I don’t think £200 is a lot for 6 essentially adults, it used to be about £140 but that was before everything went up plus the DC are eating us out of house and home.

To put it into context our annual household income is 115-140K we have no household debts and a smallish mortgage so we are not scrimping by thankfully. At one point I picked up some new chocolate bars just to have a look and he said to me “put them back you are not getting them” exactly like I was a child. I was so angry I said I am a grown woman with a job if I want them I will bloody well buy them.

@1litreofwater
I'd love to find that thread, sounds absolutely hilarious!

It was in chat, so I think it’ll be gone now, chat threads don’t hang around forever like AIBU. I’m sure there’s plenty of others that have gone a similar way though! People claim they feed X people on £X and when questioned they have veg boxes, meat boxes, takeaways, go to pret for lunch, buy cleaning stuff in homebargains once a month, buy toilet roll from an eco company online, get razors on a subscription, toiletries all come from the body shop etc. People need to include their whole shop in what they spend if that’s what the OP does.

There was recently a bit of a ‘to do’ on twitter about jack (forget her surname, she has written some cookbooks though) who did the same kind of thing. Uploaded a receipt and meal plan and half the stuff wasn’t on the receipt because she already had it in.

Similar to Jamie Oliver et al. who seem to have a store cupboard from the same person who made the wardrobe in the lion the witch and the wardrobe who then claim the meal is ‘so cheap’ just buy chicken, broccoli and potatoes. Then halfway through mention the 32 ‘store cupboard’ ingredients you need!

When he does the shopping, do you find you have enough delicious vegetables and enough choice? Are you sharing cooking and enjoying your mealtimes, confident that each family member has a super meal without feeling parsimonious? If so, I'd leave him to it, maybe picking up some extra items yourself for the teenagers, and giving them monthly treats out together.
I agree, the bigger problem here is your DH.

I remember one like that earlier this year, a poster insisting they could feed their family of 6 on £50pw, but when asked to list what they bought/ate it turned out to be more than £50, didn’t include everything, lacked fruit and vegetables and some of the portions were tiny.

That's such a good explanation.

I remember trying to explain this to an Ex partner. He said something like, 'maybe you should grow up and bit then' (said the man who'd told me to put the bag of oven chips back in the supermarket freezer) and refused to talk about it further. He turned out not to be a nice man. At least he's an Ex.

Same here. Well a bit less now. Have been 5 adults over the Summer, and now back to 4 again. Supermarket weekly shop is around £55 - £60, then we occasionally pick up some top ups, and I do a Farm Food shop (toilet rolls and washing powder mainly) about every other month. So probably around £80 tops.

My comments (and vote) were only answering the question about if it is excessive to spend £200.
I feel it is obvious that he shouldn't speak to you like that, as if you were a 6 yr old helping with the shop - you didn't ask if YWBU about that. If you had, then my vote would be different.

Interesting that people are saying it's a lot £200 for 6 adults!

I've read smaller families and they are spending this on MN.

I would be interested to see a meal plan &/or shopping list.

I would suggest he takes on full responsibility for the shopping and feeding of everyone in the house and see what he comes up with and if everyone is well fed and satisfied with his offerings.
Unless men are used to doing all of the above then they don't really understand the amount of food it takes to sustain 4 teenagers. I've got 2 and its a never ending job keeping them fed and the cupboards stocked. In 20 years of marriage my husband has never questioned what I spend on food. He wants us all well fed and full.

We can spend that but usually it's £130-£150 for a family of 4. We can afford it so why not.

Another family of six. Probably £120 PW for everything (not just food) if cooking from scratch. End of the month, more like £80 PW if we cut out nice toiletries like shower gel (and have basic soap, 50p toothpaste etc)Always have loo rolls in stock, but eke out/dilute other stuff like washing up liquid, bleach, washing powder etc. Snacks are definitely a challenge as fruit just vanishes and I'm put off baking by the cost of energy.👀

Something like this:(all value range except Heinz Ketchup and decent teabags!)
Breakfast:
Cereal & milk
Toast and peanut butter/marmalade/marmite
Banana and yoghurt or brioche and fruit salad
tea/coffee/milk/ fruit juice
porridge oats(v. rarely if time!) and defrosted frozen berries

Lunch:
Soup and sandwiches (with salad and protein) or toasties, ploughman's, sardines/kippers on toast, quiche and salad etc with fruit

Dinner: (depends on cheapest fish and meat cuts) e.g. over 2 weeks

Chicken thighs, creme fraiche and mustard with herbs and potatoes and veg
Spag bol (cheap steak mince or Quorn and value pasta)
Pork loin steaks, mash and veg/gravy
Smashed sausage pasta (frozen sausages)
Baked potato and fillings with salad and veg
Tuna and cream cheese pasta with lemon juice
Beans and cheese on toast/beans and poached egg /spinach /mushrooms etc

Oven fish with salad/veg and potatoes or oven chips
Veg Chilli with rice
Fajitas and salad
Veg /ham omelettes and salad/veg
Supermarket-ready Indian meals on offer
Thin-cut steaks, mushrooms, cauliflower cheese, green beans, mixed veg, baked potato
£1 cheese pizzas with homemade toppings + salad
Stir-fries with garlic and ginger paste and veg on offer + turkey/chicken/beef/pork

I freeze bread, wraps, chopped up veg/fruit and will be batch cooking baked potatoes (microwave) then freeze them. Other things like lamb and salmon are way too expensive, even for treats.

He's being ridiculous

Teens need something like 20-25% more cals than adults particularly true for boys they need those cals to grow.

In addition with cost of living prices ARE rising.

Also sounds like he's not being as money saving as he thinks with short term savings not translating into long term ones.

I bet you're topping up his "cheap"? Shop?

£60 for 105 meals (3 per day) and then snacks??? If 5 people.

So 57p average per meal.

If you buy snacks, that average goes down?

Not including drinks either.

Where do you shop? What do you cook?

If price is £55 for 4 people, then still 65p average per meal of three per day. Not including snacks or drinks.

How?

We are a family of 8 and spend about 200-300 a week. The children are home ed so it includes all lunches and day time snacks as well.

i could cut it down i suppose but i dont need to and i like what we get!
If you can afford it which it seems you can its really odd for your dh to be so concerned about it - unless there are money worries hes not telling you about.

We have 7 in the house, about £80-90 a week.

Its pretty simple really, you spend what you can afford. If you can afford it, do it

What was the outcome of this, cos seems like DH is BU to me? We spend roughly £100 a week (UK, where food prices are high right now) on 2 adults and a 7 year old eating machine (boy) with ASD & ADHD, so to me £200 seems right for 6, especially with your household income (ours is 36k, but we're not willing to scrimp on food, we have precious few other luxuries or treats after all - eg holidays all at our parents houses, cinema twice a year if that, etc., etc.) Don't go mad, but your kids are entitled to snacks & you a chocolate bar every now & then if you're on over 100k household income...can you ask your DH why its so important to him to save money / point score off you?