to think £200 a week is not excessive shopping bill wise for a family of 6?

[sweetkitty]

This is part of a wider issue of me being fed up of DH and his penny pinching can’t afford it attitude.

DH and I and four teenage DC who eat well like teenage DC. DH has for a while been in charge of doing a weekly Tesco online shop as in his words “I go far too much over budget” so this week he spent £96 on the online shop then I went to Asda with him - the total was another £94 which he wasn’t happy about as it was apparently far too much as he is usually £60. The reason he’s been going to Asda is Tesco keep missing things/don’t have the range. Now I said to him I think we should start buying in bulk to try and reduce costs a bit instead of for example buying the smallest box of Ariel pods he always buys as he think they are cheaper let’s buy a huge box of Persil powder instead. I also stocked up the good cupboards. Bit as the DC are always saying there’s not a lot in for quick snacks etc.

That was no alcohol or pet items as I buy all the pet items out of my money and usually go to Home Bargains and stock up on cleaning products and the like once a month. I don’t think £200 is a lot for 6 essentially adults, it used to be about £140 but that was before everything went up plus the DC are eating us out of house and home.

To put it into context our annual household income is 115-140K we have no household debts and a smallish mortgage so we are not scrimping by thankfully. At one point I picked up some new chocolate bars just to have a look and he said to me “put them back you are not getting them” exactly like I was a child. I was so angry I said I am a grown woman with a job if I want them I will bloody well buy them.

£200 weekly is on the higher side of average for 6 but you've got a healthy annual income so with that in mind, I don't think it's unreasonable at all. Tell your husband he can do the shopping and meal planning for the week by himself, see how he manages

I think if you've a decent income you should have nice food. All very well living off cheapie carbs when you're skint but not if you have options.

We budget £150 a week for two adults and two DC, 13 and 11. We do stick to it but find it quite a challenge. It includes the lot though, shower gel, shampoo, loo roll, cleaning, washing liquid etc. Plus stuff for the kids' and our packed lunches so we have no other lunch budget outside the weekly shop IYSWIM.

Household income is £116k a year.

On that basis £200 a week for your larger family doesn't seem crazy to me, but of course you could always spend less if you wanted to.

Sounds high but not outside the realms of normal

I stock up on things like bagels, brioche, bananas and cereals from Aldi and my DC know that that is what they will be directed to if they ask for snacks.

If your DC are wanted branded or more exciting stuff for snacks like crisps and chocolate bars then that's where I'd start reining it in

However, you sound like you have the household income to be able to do the weekly shop without having to pore over every detail. It would drive me nuts to be disciplined over buying the odd thing I fancied!

@NancyVicious he does do the shopping by himself that’s the problem! It usually comes to about £150-160 but this week when I got involved it was £200 but I stocked up and he was going mad saying we can’t afford it to be £200 every week.

@SeagullSausage the DC are quite good that’s what they usually go for bagels, brioches, toast, cereals, noodles

Our budget is £175 for 4 adults and 1 child. This includes a few toiletries but all cleaning/loo roll/kitchen roll etc are purchased in bulk separately.

you could buy it much cheaper if you needed to. But that woudl mean carefully budgeting and food choice, eg toast not bagels.

But if you have enough money, there is no reason to do that.

I spend about £100 on everything for family of 4. But I do have to do the careful cheap food planning.

I would spend more than that. I would LOSE it if my DH told me what I could buy and not buy.

Blimey. Family of 4, eat well all home cooked. About £80/week!

We'd be throwing food away if we spent £200/week as we'd never get through it all.

How much shit/snacks (cake/biscuits/crisps etc ) within that.?? Sounds high to me. Don't allow teens unlimited access- most of them really don't care if you spend £400a week- if it's not their cash !!

The question is not whether it’s high or low, it’s whether it’s affordable to you. Assuming you haven’t overstated your income and outgoings, it’s very affordable. Your biggest issue is why you are allowing your husband to control things (and you!) like this. I don’t understand this “my money”, “his money” nonsense when you are a family unit.

We spend around $200 a week for 2 adults and 3 dogs but we are in the US where food is a lot more expensive. But it’s very affordable to us and we enjoy the things we buy. That’s all that matters.

Stop allowing yourself to be treated like a naughty child over a few chocolate bars, for goodness’ sake.

We are £200 a week for a family of three plus dog. I am well aware that’s super high but we can afford it, so why not. Same for you - with that income you should be fine unless your mortgage is huge. What’s his justification for controlling what you buy?

I don't think it's excessive and it sounds as though you can comfortably afford to do so. Our food budget is £125 per week for 2 adults and a toddler. I can and have in the past done our food shopping for much less so I know it is possible to eat well for less but I really value things that save us time i.e ready prepped veg etc.

Yes, it sounds excessive to me.
I've had anything between 4 and 7 adults living here for the last few years and don't spend anything like that amount.

The fact that you say he does the shop every week for £150 - £160 clearly shows there is no need to spend £200.

Of course, it doesn't really matter if you have a vast income and low outgoings elsewhere, but the fact he is keeping an eye on it suggests that isn't the case.

Nope I don't think so mine most weeks cost 70-100 and that's for 3 people 2 adults and a 4year old used to be about 40-50 before everything went up

We spend just over £100/week for 2 adults & 2 kids. But kids don't eat much.

So £200 is high but your income is double ours.,

You say he does the shop for less, but it sounds like he doesn't get all the things needed for the week? My DH and my DF are both like this, completely underestimate how much a family needs for all 21 meals of the week + snacks for 6 people!
My DF would always have a go at my DM saying that she spent too much/bought too much in our food shop (also for 6 people), then would do it himself one week only to come back with a pack of spuds, a massive block of cheese, 4 pints of milk, ingredients to make 1 batch of chilli and a loaf of bread. He'd present it so proudly, proclaiming how much less he'd spent and then DM would have to go out about 2 days later when we had no food in the house again 🙄

I don't think it's relevant whether people live off £1 a week and eat home-spun gravel fgs.

The point is he spoke to you like a child. Unacceptable and unbearable.

It’s cloth cutting isn’t it and you can afford it. I spent £200 last week for 3 of us, we were very short of stuff as DH and I had been on holiday and DS decided to eat all the ‘weird stuff in the freezer’ while we were away.

The bottom line is what are you eating on a regular basis and do you like it?

YANBU, but I’m afraid you’ve got a bigger problem than your grocery budget.

Your DH sounds mean and insufferable; he’s failing to see the bigger picture by purchasing smaller pack sizes which makes no economic sense, and failing to see the wider picture of the household budget needing to be an annual concern rather than a weekly race to the bottom to get the absolute cheapest bill in a single transaction or week without thought for maintaining a healthy stock and taking advantage of bulk discounts and offers etc.

But worst of all aspects seems like he’s acting like the food police in an effort that looks almost like it’s designed to push even more of the household budget into “your” pot or the children’s personal expenses for packed meals and or snacks when out and about and such like rather than taking stuff from home that you can buy cheaper in bulk again, and not in the “his/joint” finances.

The way he spoke to you would've been enough for me to leave the supermarket frankly. You’re a grown woman with 4 teenagers, you aren’t a two year old who needs to be infantilised.

Figures wise we drop about £250-300 ish a month for two adults for all food, toiletries, cleaning products and such like, then an additional £100 a month is put into a pot for a bimonthly to quarterly Costco bulk shop and our Amazon Subscribe and Saves.

You better have bought 2 packets of those chocolate bars. I'd go berserk if my dp said that to me.

Is £200 unrealistic for 6ish adults? I don't think it is. We are a household of 2 adults, and our average shopping bill is £60 (not including alcohol), but we usually only shop for 6 days as we get a takeaway at least once a week. I'm vegan and he is pescatarian. I buy fake/processed meats for a meal or two and he eats fish probably 4 days of the week, and then maybe a veggie pizza one night and the other 2 days vegan. Fish can be quite expensive. I don't think your budget is OTT.

To me, your budget does sound a lot - you spend more on good in a week than our disposable income for a month, BUT in your csse, you can afford it,.
The problem is your DH acting like the food/spending police and trying to dictate what you can and can't do with your own money.
Does he have secret debts or not enough pension fund or something? I don't understand why he's tight over food. It's not like you're buying gin, or crack 😁 you need food, and can afford nice, plentiful supply.
He's being an arse - the question is, why? !

£200 per week is approx $340aud for us and we spend a fair bit more than that a week for 2 adults, 2 teenagers and a pre teen (all boys)
Our oldest is just about 18yo so essentially an adult.
Not sure what the cost of food is like comparatively.
Teenagers/boys like to snack and we don't really restrict them to be honest.
We cook most meals at home etc but we like to eat good food and could think of nothing worse than restricting if we really don't have to.

We spend almost that for a family of 4 but here in France people generally seem to spend more on food.

£200 pw on food does sound a lot to me. Saying that, if you can afford it and the kids aren’t getting fat on all the snacks you buy them I don’t see a problem. I do see a huge problem with the way your DH speaks to you though!