to think £200 a week is not excessive shopping bill wise for a family of 6?

[sweetkitty]

This is part of a wider issue of me being fed up of DH and his penny pinching can’t afford it attitude.

DH and I and four teenage DC who eat well like teenage DC. DH has for a while been in charge of doing a weekly Tesco online shop as in his words “I go far too much over budget” so this week he spent £96 on the online shop then I went to Asda with him - the total was another £94 which he wasn’t happy about as it was apparently far too much as he is usually £60. The reason he’s been going to Asda is Tesco keep missing things/don’t have the range. Now I said to him I think we should start buying in bulk to try and reduce costs a bit instead of for example buying the smallest box of Ariel pods he always buys as he think they are cheaper let’s buy a huge box of Persil powder instead. I also stocked up the good cupboards. Bit as the DC are always saying there’s not a lot in for quick snacks etc.

That was no alcohol or pet items as I buy all the pet items out of my money and usually go to Home Bargains and stock up on cleaning products and the like once a month. I don’t think £200 is a lot for 6 essentially adults, it used to be about £140 but that was before everything went up plus the DC are eating us out of house and home.

To put it into context our annual household income is 115-140K we have no household debts and a smallish mortgage so we are not scrimping by thankfully. At one point I picked up some new chocolate bars just to have a look and he said to me “put them back you are not getting them” exactly like I was a child. I was so angry I said I am a grown woman with a job if I want them I will bloody well buy them.

We spend about £100 for 2 adults and a toddler DD (DH is a bit of carnivore so every main meal is based around meat which makes it expensive)

I can easily see how you could spend £200 for 6 adults. As you can afford it your DH is being a bit of a twat. Especially if he’s buying small packs of things rather than bulk buying, that’s throwing money away. At least you were getting some chocolate for yours!

Doesn't seem that high to me. Depends what I buy and when but I can easily spend that much on 4. Not 6. I buy at Costco, a big bag of chicken breasts, mince. My 2 get through bananas satsumas and bread like it's going out of fashion.

Ours is about £100 for two of us shopping at Tesco and Waitrose or M&S so it doesn't sound high at all for six adults. It will never be quite proportional for bigger households and they will buy large packs of stuff which are generally cheaper that smaller packs weight for weight so £100 for two would maybe equal £200 for six

If you did a lot of bulk buying then yes that makes sense. I was so angry I said I am a grown woman with a job if I want them I will bloody well buy them. do you get a personal allowance each so you can damn well buy the chocolate? Does he have control over all your purchases? This is a big waving red flag for me.

I would say £200 was a bit of a stock-up but what I didn’t like was him going on and on about it how he hates when I go shopping with him it costs him more etc and don’t start me on putting the biscuits back, I was livid!

If you saw my DC you would tell me to feed them more, they are very skinny. They are just are ravenous phase and are good that they are filling up on toast, cheese brioches etc. We are also mostly vegetarian so there’s not a lot of expensive meat either.

I appreciate we are very lucky that we can afford it, I grew up right bare cupboards and going hungry and I like the food cupboards to be well-stocked at all times.

£200 doesn’t seem excessive for 6. I also think your dh doesn’t get everything in the weekly shop, hence why he thinks he’s doing better.
My dh is banned from shopping with me as he came once and the food bill was twice what I’d spend. He agreed never to come again and leave me to it.
It seems as a family you can afford it anyway, so not sure what his issue is?

You're gonna get a ton of posters here telling you how they can do it for far less money. It doesn't really matter, every family has different needs.

From what you have said here, it sounds like your husband is being very unreasonable, buying smaller boxes so he can spend less on a weekly basis is short sighted and he can fuck right off for telling you you're not allowed chocolate.

For context, we are in the same income bracket and spend over half that for 2 adults and a baby.

I don’t think £200 is excessive, We spend around £100 plus small top ups for 2 adults and a rugby playing gym 5 times a week 17 year old eating machine.
we do get snacks etc, enough for a week and he’s told when it’s gone it’s gone.

I don't think your shopping bill is excessive.

We spend £500 per (at the most) a month for 3 adults and 2 teens, but I can only do that because we have a store cupboard/freezer of food we eat regularly built up over a few years, so we only replace what we have used, fresh milk, veg and bread. And this is for 99% of all meals.

The trouble is your husband is not looking at the best price only at the most convenient item, so he is spending more money then is necessary.

The problem is he's controlling the finances and treating you like a child. If you have a small mortgage and no debts you have plenty of disposable income.

You need to sit down and discuss overall budget and how you're spending and saving. Yes, sometimes it's better to buy in bulk, or spend more to get better quality/longer lasting items. Some things are worth saving on.

But you should agree an overall budget for the family, including personal spending for each of you, so you can then spend it on biscuits if you want

Our food bill is £100 - £120 a week for 4-5 adults. But our income in £60k.

It sounds about right to me. My food bill went up a lot when DD was home from Uni. I’m glad she’s going back soon.

Seems ok to me. About 350$ AU a week . We would spend similar but only have 3 people but I am a shocker for buying expensive cuts of meat etc. ANd that is 21 x meals.

i came on to say it was far too much,
i had a family of 5
a couple of years ago we were all home and we spent less.
otoh this was 2020, so lower prices?
and i am not an extravagent cook
and it sounds like you can afford it

We are a family of 4 adults and easily spend over £200 per week on groceries. Both adult Sons make their lunches, so almost all of our food we all eat comes from what I buy. I never have to throw anything away, it all gets eaten. Buying in bulk does help, but most things you cannot get in bulk anymore. I do buy the largest pack of cheese, toilet rolls, washing powder, washing up liquid, shampoo etc., but I refuse to pay over £6 for 3 litres of sunflower oil. Everything has gone up, a lot of things by at least 30% or items have shrunk in size. Also things like butter, last 2 weeks it has been £2.50, now it’s back to £1.50, we really are being conned into spending more to buy what we like to have and unless you have the time to go to various places to get supplies, then we are forced to pay the higher prices.

however the issue isnt the cost, the issue is your dh

£200 on shopping is not excessive, especially with 4 teenagers. Especially if some of those are boys. We have one teen son and he could eat half the family shopping budget alone!

I think we eat well. Family of 4 adults +1 other part time. Including dog food, cleaning, basic toiletries, the weekly shop averages around £130.
I can see how £200 could relatively easily be spent though if you regularly eat stuff like lamb or steak.

Your husband reminds me of the poster on a thread I read about food shopping ages ago. She was adamant she fed her family of 5 on £40 a week at Aldi. She was eventually persuaded to post photos of her receipt and meal plan.

Posters had some follow up questions eg your meal plan says salmon on Tuesday but none on the receipt? - oh I already had that in. Your receipt doesn’t have chicken on it so how will you have roast chicken on Sunday? - oh I get that at the butchers. And on and on it went.

Not to mention there was no breakfast, not enough fruit or lunch stuff for a family of 5 for a whole week, no cleaning or laundry products, no toiletries and no toilet roll (ordered from Amazon apparently).

Your husband doesn’t buy enough for the week that’s why he can ‘do it cheaper’!

We spend about that for 2 adults and 4 kids. But that includes packed lunch for 4 kids and cleaning and toiletries too.

I'm not understanding why people think this is too expensive for 6 adults? Unless you all eat tiny portions and never eat a snack etc.

And it does use a lot of our monthly budget but I would rather spend it on kids with full tummy than other stuff. For example I don't got to the hairdressers, u have no interest in make up or anything like that.

So it's all swings and round abouts isn't it.

Op spend what you like. If you can afford it, then it's irrelevant

You are on a high income with no mortgage so your husband clearly has different priorities.
Can you have a discussion on what your financial priorities are?
If I were in your position I'd probably spend more on food than this.

You have 6 mouths to feed and with the cost of everything going up I think 200 a week is fair.

Our household income is about 150k and we have 2 dc. I would say we spend about the same.

Although I do think to be honest that Tesco is super expensive and I've stopped going there at all for food as I really grudge it and I don't even think it's good quality. We usually get shopping delivered from asda or go to the local Aldi where money seems to go much farther and they have a bit of a different selection than typical asda/Tesco. Sometimes we do top ups in M&S but wouldn't do a full shop there.

I easily spend that for one adult and three children, so no, if you are buying lots of fresh fruit and vegetables it quickly adds up

Just leave him to do the shopping himself. If he’s not buying enough you’ll soon notice!

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