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Original poster

Scared sh*tless of death

132 replies

Lordhelpme · 19/09/2022 17:03

I don't know if iv done this right as I'm first time poster so forgive me BUT...
Is anyone else scared of death? I feel silly to be scared as its going to happen but i can't seem to accept that it will eventually happen and I don't know when, not that I want to know when. I was never like this before covid I had the attitude of 'well its going to happen so?' Where as now I'm having bloody panic attacks about it. Maybe because I have 2 little ones I'm not sure but it's the whole knowing thats it, done, never going to see them or my partner again.
Any advice would be great..

OP posts:
TinaTeaspoons · 20/09/2022 22:13

I have mixed feelings.
I don't worry about death in some ways as I've not been truly happy since a young child. I feel like things will only get harder as I age also.
But also I worry about the process. The idea of being buried underground, of being somehow aware of it....I also think that it's just a case of we die and then that's it. No afterlife or anything like that so the finality of just decaying into the earth that is frightening.

Homewardbound2022 · 20/09/2022 22:44

@FarmGirl78 Jeez I've proper depressed myself now. Off back downstairs to finish off the pack of custard creams and watch HollyOaks on catch up.

That cracked me up, FarmGirl...😂

Deathisshit · 20/09/2022 23:23

Hi OP, fellow death freaker-outer here! Been dealing with it since the age of around 10 and have recently had counselling for it. I was adamant there was no way anyone could cure me, as it's not like monsters, it's real and the only certain thing. It's scary as fuck isn't it? My counsellor seems to have helped though. I still have the odd panic, and I still am not a fan but don't feel as bad, until the health anxiety kicks in! The things they advised we're to write up a list of all the worries/concerns if I were to die, if DH were to die and come up with a plan to mitigate (i.e who would have DC etc, finances etc) I'm a planner so that really helped. I also wrote a letter to DC and need to start on one for DH. My problem is I'm so 'dead' to it now I can hold entire conversations about death and not freak then bam it hits me at random times, happy times mainly. I spoke to DH about funerals etc and we both talked about what our wishes would be. It's helped me feel more in control as it were. Still need to pin down the legalities, sort life insurance etc but the mere process has been interesting. My counsellor spent a lot of time trying to pin down where the fear came from. That helped a bit, and then they encouraged me to face it head on. To really push through to the raw fear and write down how I felt, what I thought. Unfortunately for me I seem to block it too hard and can't get down to that, but I thought maybe sharing how I've been guided through it may help. Imo it's one of the worst fears a person can have and I feel for anyone else suffering. Might be worth speaking to the GP too if it's affecting everyday life, some meds can be marvellous but appreciate that the very thing we fear will always be there. Like others I desperately wish I could believe in a faith, life after death etc and I hope that ageing brings more peace with the inevitable. If private counselling isn't an option I hope you can find some of my suggestions helpful, but I'd highly recommend it if you can. Sending big hugs, you're definitely not alone.

pinok · 20/09/2022 23:26

I just remember that I didn’t exist for an eternity before I was born and was perfectly fine

nancydroo · 21/09/2022 07:26

Suetwo · 19/09/2022 23:07

I’m absolutely terrified. When people talk about their loved one “passing away peacefully” it baffles me. I have seen death several times, and every time it was awful, ugly and disgusting. People don’t just slip away. They writhe around in pain, gasp for air, make a hideous death rattle, shit themselves, cough up blood, sit bolt upright and stare around the room, etc. I remember going in to see my grandmother after she died of a stroke. She looked hideous. It totally destroyed my memories of her. Instead of my kind, gentle grandmother, there was a ghastly corpse with its back bent and its mouth open. I have blotted out the image because I simply can’t deal with it. I admit it. I just cannot deal with it.

And you don’t float off to be with the angels, you go in a box and then deep into the cold, dark ground forever. It’s so awful I don’t know what to say. My mother is getting old now, and the thought of her dying, and of the impact it’s going to have, keeps me awake at night.

I have zero faith in anything nice after death. Either there is nothing, forever, or there is more suffering . I pray it’s nothing. I also hope I have the courage to take an overdose of heroin or something when I get really old. But I know I won’t.

Yes what I've seen is not peaceful. 'He will slip into unconscious soon.." nope he didn't. I'm at least a little more prepared because of it.

nancydroo · 21/09/2022 07:32

pennysarah · 19/09/2022 19:46

I don't want to die prematurely before my children are grown up and I am scared of knowing I'm about to die. I don't want to be scared when I go.
Ideally I'll get to an old age but still relatively fit and die suddenly.

My life will feel a success if my youngest gets to 18. But then nothing else in my life has or will be remarkable. It's out of my control but will make me feel she's safer if an adult

BonjourBonheur · 21/09/2022 07:36

I don’t feel especially worried about death, but that’s partly because I only think about it as something which will happen to some very different, future me (which of course might not be true).

I worry much more about one of my children dying. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced this.

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