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Original poster

Scared sh*tless of death

132 replies

Lordhelpme · 19/09/2022 17:03

I don't know if iv done this right as I'm first time poster so forgive me BUT...
Is anyone else scared of death? I feel silly to be scared as its going to happen but i can't seem to accept that it will eventually happen and I don't know when, not that I want to know when. I was never like this before covid I had the attitude of 'well its going to happen so?' Where as now I'm having bloody panic attacks about it. Maybe because I have 2 little ones I'm not sure but it's the whole knowing thats it, done, never going to see them or my partner again.
Any advice would be great..

OP posts:
Original poster
Lordhelpme · 19/09/2022 19:28

I am in the process of receiving help, just need to pluck up the courage and book in for a session x

OP posts:
janj2301 · 19/09/2022 19:29

I was fine until covid, then I started worrying about catching it and dying, my main concern is not seeing my 9 year old grandson grow up/get married/have kids sort of thing. We are not a close family and I worry I will be forgotten really quickly.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 19/09/2022 19:29

Yes I can't even get my head around the idea that one day myself and everyone I know will not be here. I've been like this since I was about 30 and now 41. My DF died two years ago and that's made it worse.

xxcatcatcatxx · 19/09/2022 19:34

Suzi888 · 19/09/2022 17:16

I’m not afraid of death but I’m afraid of how I’ll die.

A friend of mine has what you describe, she would fear going out, that something bad would happen etc. I think it’s called ‘catastrophising’. She had some medication from her G.P for awhile. Sorry to not be much help, hope someone can come along soon with more knowledge.

Omg THIS!!! Not really an answer but just my personal experience as I have mild anaphylaxis or whatever it’s called and have almost died once or twice mayyyybe.

I get nervous about dying in public if I suspect I’ve eaten soya 😂 it’s such a weird thing. The worst time I got it I literally was half dying and half embarrassed trying to maintain my composture 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was AWFUL

I’m terrified about being in pain though, have never really felt pain though so do not know how I’d react … maybe anaphylaxis is my destined way at least I know how that goes down xxx

Soproudoflionesses · 19/09/2022 19:36

Not scared but often hope l die before my friends.
Would hate to be the last one standing.

TakeawayManAlan · 19/09/2022 19:40

We’re all going to die - makes no sense to fear it

2bazookas · 19/09/2022 19:41

Life insurance and a well-designed Will.

TakeawayManAlan · 19/09/2022 19:43

janj2301 · 19/09/2022 19:29

I was fine until covid, then I started worrying about catching it and dying, my main concern is not seeing my 9 year old grandson grow up/get married/have kids sort of thing. We are not a close family and I worry I will be forgotten really quickly.

But you won’t know

pennysarah · 19/09/2022 19:46

I don't want to die prematurely before my children are grown up and I am scared of knowing I'm about to die. I don't want to be scared when I go.
Ideally I'll get to an old age but still relatively fit and die suddenly.

Alopeciabop · 19/09/2022 20:10

TimBoothseyes · 19/09/2022 17:52

I've never admitted this irl but here goes

I am absolutely terrified at the thought of dying. It gets to the point at times where I don't sleep in case I never wake up. I realise this is not normal behaviour but it doesn't stop me from doing it. It's worse when I'm told about somebody who died in their sleep.

Totally totally get this. I think many more people feel this way than admit.

DoctorManhattan · 19/09/2022 20:27

Never been particularly scared of it and I care even less as each year passes and I get older, because I see terrible things happening to others in the world - many younger than me - and feel I’m lucky to wake up each day and have had a fairly content life.

I’m terrified however that something would ever happen to my son. I want him to have a long and happy life.

DoctorManhattan · 19/09/2022 20:30

It is a strange thing when you think about it. Death is the one thing that every human who has ever lived since time began has in common (and maybe every human who ever will live, unless we crack immortality). However it’s also something that every human ultimately goes through alone. You might be surrounded by family but when it happens it’s just you.

stockpilingallthecheese · 19/09/2022 20:33

Yep me, to be honest I can't even read this thread as I'll think about it and then it will be stuck in my head. I just have to avoid thinking about it because it's just such a horrifying thought.

The only positive spin on it is that I obviously love my life to feel so horrified at the thought of it ending.

MessyBunPersonified · 19/09/2022 20:38

janj2301 · 19/09/2022 19:29

I was fine until covid, then I started worrying about catching it and dying, my main concern is not seeing my 9 year old grandson grow up/get married/have kids sort of thing. We are not a close family and I worry I will be forgotten really quickly.

I don't know how to word this question sensitively, but why do you worry that you will be forgotten?

I'm the other end of that spectrum, I hope my dc do get over my death quickly.

If I knew when I was going to die I would love to slowly phase myself out of their lives so they aren't upset when I die.

The thought of them, and any children they have, spending time grieving and crying over me is just awful.

I was there with two of my dc as they died I held my daughter as she died, and I wasn't there for my sons last breath as he was an organ donor, but I was by his side through the majority of the process.

Maybe that's why I don't fear death, but I do fear my dc grieving me.

megosaurusrex · 19/09/2022 20:44

I think it's natural to be scared of death. I was scared before I became a Christian, and still am a bit now tbh, but overall I have hope based on the promises in the Bible. I thought the service today illustrated this beautifully. I hope you find your peace OP, along with others on here with a similar anxiety.

Howtohelp1234 · 19/09/2022 20:46

Yes I can’t read the full thread either as it sends me funny thinking too much about it all. I used to think about it sometimes but since having my DC 5 years ago I worry more. I want to see them to adulthood (and hopefully much longer). The thought of them not having me terrifies me more than anything. I’ve make a will and taken out insurance.

Cravingsweets · 19/09/2022 20:50

I'm terrified, and the worry of it occupies a lot of my time. Particularly at night. Although, I think I probably am depressed, so as a pp said, perhaps this is a symptom.

I love what Betty White said her mum used to say when someone died : "now they know the secret". I think that's a nice way of looking at it.

garlicandsapphires · 19/09/2022 20:50

Yes am terrified. More so lately for some reason.
It’s mind bogglingly terrifying

Sillystripytail · 19/09/2022 20:52

Yes, completely and utterly. So scared that I nearly didn't open this thread because I can't bear to think about it. I have panic attacks in my sleep about it. I have done for about 15 years. Ricky Gervais has said some really good advice about it which I try to remind myself of and I think of all the good I have in my life and how lucky I am. Like my son, my husband, my family. Some people don't even have that so I try to be grateful that I get to experience it at all.

Off to have a panic attack now....🤦‍♀️

theresnouseingrumpin · 19/09/2022 20:54

I'm not scared of dying but I strongly hate the idea that inn gone and that's it, no going back, what do I do once I'm dead, forever? I'm so confused

megletthesecond · 19/09/2022 21:04

"I don't want my life to stop!"
Exactly. I eat my vegetables and go to the gym if it's going to get me past 100. I'm even more terrified of dying before my DC's are well into middle age and ok.

BlodynGwyn · 19/09/2022 21:05

I'm terrified I die before I can delete my browsing history.

justusandmoo · 19/09/2022 21:10

Babdoc · 19/09/2022 18:18

Well this is the problem with atheists, isn’t it. They actually think death is the end, total oblivion - who wouldn’t be scared and depressed at the thought of that?
OP, as a Christian, I know that death is not an end, merely a change of state, from the physical to the spiritual. I look forward to being reunited with my much loved DH, who died 30 years ago, in the loving presence of God.
Come to church. Listen to the promise Christ gave us, that He goes to prepare a place for us. Read the bible passage that says “God will wipe away all tears, and there will no more death”. Let your fears be stilled, and your heart at peace, in prayer.

Completely agree. Beautiful response xx

LactoseTheIntolerant · 19/09/2022 21:17

I'm not scared of death itself, but I am scared of being in pain or a long drawn out death. I also fear leaving my dc without a mother before they are fully independent adults.

mintywinter · 19/09/2022 21:33

I found reading a book called 'Life after Life' by Raymond Moody comforting OP.

Still worry a lot about something happening to my dcs though, or how they will cope if I died. The pain is for those left behind. All we can do is make the most of life as best we can.