To ask how single parents work?

[TiredSloth]

I stopped working when my dd was born with complex health problems. They are lifelong but she’s doing well and is thriving in school. I also have a ds who is in school. I would like to get back into work but I don’t know how. My dc school has breakfast club but no after school club and it is a small rural school with no nearby childcare provisions. My dc are with their dad eow. Aibu to ask how I can get a job when my only available hours are 9-3, Mon-Fri?

Well your hours are potentially around 7.45-3pm because of breakfast club. My and ex work it so that he does some drop offs and so do I. Could you negotiate that into your contact arrangements? If not agency work could work then you can just work the weeks the kids are at their dads. School and collage catering could be a good bet.

How does any parent work?
Childcare.

I suppose those that want or need to work would change their set up to facilitate this. So they would locate themselves somewhere with childcare options, or look to become the childminder the area needs.

Or they would look for school hours jobs (part time cleaning, part time in schools, part time admin etc). They may choose to take on zero hour contracts and opt in for shifts every other weekend, or school hours term time.

If I didn't work, I couldn't pay my bills. Working as a lone parent often means that there is some financial support for the childcare costs with up to 75% of costs paid via a benefit of some sort. This helps.

Yep, childcare. If it's not available you'll have to look at a wider solution like moving, getting an au pair, looking for WFH jobs etc. Millions of single parents (like me) work full time, kids were in childcare from 7.45 til about 5pm. I made a significant move in order for it to be possible.

Nowadays it isn’t an issue, but when DD was younger - I paid for childcare.

And FWIW I viewed it as an investment in my career. Which paid off.

If both of your dc are at school, then there's max 6 years before they are both at secondary, at which point childcare needs pretty much disappear. So you only need to look for a solution that works for the next 6 years.

Given you will likely need to work til about 65/66, that leaves a LOT of time to need to work after your kids are grown. Use these 6 years to Prime yourself for a lifetime of working full time.

What does everyone else in the area you live in do for childcare after school?
Surely there are at least some couples locally where both parents work?

I work in a school so my hours fit in round my DDs and school holidays. I have a childminder who takes my younger DD to school and has her for 1 hour after school.

I had loads of part time jobs as a lone parent when DC were younger
these days I’m an employer in the charity sector and would have no problem accommodating your available hours - if those who work for me are fab at what they do we can always reach a compromise

You need a school job or school holidays will be a huge problem

Well your hours are potentially around 7.45-3pm because of breakfast club. My and ex work it so that he does some drop offs and so do I. Could you negotiate that into your contact arrangements? If not agency work could work then you can just work the weeks the kids are at their dads. School and collage catering could be a good bet.

My dc school breakfast club doesn’t start until 8 and the nearest big town is 45 minutes away so that’s quite limiting. Also sorry I didn’t make it clear but the kids are with their dad every other weekend, so with me 90% of the time.

No childminders in the village? Campaign for school to provide more "wraparound" childcare, I expect others would use it as well as you.

Weekend work you can do alternate weekends?

WFH after the kids have gone to bed, if that's feasible?

Have you put your postcode into Ofsted? It will show nearby childminders.

In your situation, I would move to somewhere with childcare options

There are probably some childminders who cover the area.

I did have after school care available

employers are also much more flexible than they were 12 years ago when I was in your position. There are many jobs where you could work those hours. What is it you are looking to do?

If its a 45min drive to the nearest big town then that's incredibly remote. It's worth considering a move anyways as when you have teens they will want to be close to amenities.

I chose to put my son into a school that has proper wrap around care near my work rather than near my home, which also maxes out my available hours to work as it’s quicker to travel between work and school.

What job did you do before kids?

What job did you do before your DD was born? Could you work from home?

The only jobs from 9-3 Monday to Friday are teaching assistants but there are 70 squillion applicants for each vacancy, for obvious reasons.

What do you think of the suggestion that some people have made about working from home?

I used to work in Sainsburys on the checkout on Mondays and Fridays from 10am until 2pm. Was perfect for me cos I could take little man to school and pick him up. Then I got a 9-5 job in a hospital doing admin and used breakfast and after school clubs. I know you don't have that option but that's how I went about it.
Good luck OP

Surely the same as parents who are half of a couple - they use childcare.

What your question really is, is How do parents work when they live 45 minutes drive from the nearest town and there isn't any existing childcare near to the very rural school ?

In which case, potentially setting up some childcare might be the solution to what you could do ?

Can there dad not have them more?

I worked in a nursery or a school after my children started school themselves.