To ask how single parents work?

[TiredSloth]

I stopped working when my dd was born with complex health problems. They are lifelong but she’s doing well and is thriving in school. I also have a ds who is in school. I would like to get back into work but I don’t know how. My dc school has breakfast club but no after school club and it is a small rural school with no nearby childcare provisions. My dc are with their dad eow. Aibu to ask how I can get a job when my only available hours are 9-3, Mon-Fri?

What does everyone else in the area you live in do for childcare after school?

Surely there are at least some couples locally where both parents work?

There are about 50 children in the whole school and every child gets picked up by a parent or grandparent. It’s a rural area and I don’t know anyone who has a nanny/au pair. There are childminders but very few and far between. I live in a lovely council bungalow on the edge of a quiet village and moving isn’t really an option. I live a couple of minutes away from my dm who has health issues and can’t drive.

Childcare was never affordable in my situation, and also I could not be separated from my dc so young (childcare from birth isn’t easy to find even if could afford it) . I had to become self employed, and my children came to work with me from baby hood. I also worked hours entirely round when they were asleep or occupied. I managed to sustain a single adult household, barely at times but I did.

I have used nannies, breakfast club, after school club, babysitters, students and now WFH. Lone parent since youngest was born. Sadly you need a decent wage to pay childcare,

What are you trained in OP?

It's hard to believe that there are no childcare options at all. I live in a small village but there is a childminder. Have you asked what other people do, or asked the school whether any childminders collect?

If not, ask the school about an after school club. If there's enough demand - and the breakfast club suggests that there are working parents - then they may consider it.

Otherwise, it's a wfh role or part time during school hours. Retail, hospitality, supermarkets, social care, cleaning all offer part-time hours and can be flexible to attract staff. One single parent in my class drives a taxi.

I can't afford to work less than full time. I use breakfast club and childminders. I think as a single parent I would struggle in practical terms to live rurally (but realise it's always easier to tell other people they need to move!).

UC helps keep it affordable but I often fantasise about working 9-3 term time only. My kids do OK but they'd do better if they didn't need to be in wraparound and holiday care.

I worked part time and claimed tax credits for childcare and the extras like rent. As soon as I was able to work FT I did.

It's hard, but have you considered that a lot of businesses wfh nowadays? It's easier to work now than it was 3 years ago as a lot of places don't physically need you in the office.

Without any outside help, little or no local childcare provision, an EOW at best arrangement with the non-resident parent; the only way I found is to be self-employed. Whatever small thing you're good at, just build on it, bit by little bit. No need to build an Empire just a small income stream, which will ebb and flow.

I think the UC system allows you a grace period to give it a go without expecting you to earn fortunes in the first year.

And develop a very thick skin - so many people are so full of judgemental shit both here and in RL - ignore them and carry on. The nuts might drop off their wheels one day and all the hot air they blow now won't help them then.

That sounds like a difficult situation. Like PPs have said, I think your question is more around how people who live in remote areas with no after school club and a 45min commute manage....you could have the same problem even if you weren't single

Ohhh the Bitches are out tonight in full force! It's like some people have just come along to stick the boot in!

Anyway back to OP!
I think if you had to give your job up due to whatever reason but in your case your child's health it's difficult to try and negotiate school hours with a new employer because not only are they like goldust they don't know you so they are very unlikely to give you flexibility.

I work 08.30 till 2pm Monday to Friday in NHS and in a clinical role too. On a weekend I bank EOW.

Register with NHS I see school hours sometimes.

I worked as a childminder so had my kids along side. Then I worked in a school.

Do you like kids? If so then it sounds like there might be a need for childminders where you work?

Look at Setting up.a childcare setting of your own.
You've identified a gap in the market locally, use that.

Failing that, im not quite sure what to advise with such a niche situation really. But good luck and dont worry if you dont find the answer ASAP, dont be hard on yourself.

What job did you do before kids?

This is really outing but I worked in an ambulance control centre taking 999 calls.

I have three children, one at secondary school and two at primary. They live with me full time. I work in a school 9-3.30, so the younger two go to breakfast club before school and got to a Childminder for an hour after school. It works really well, they love it there and my oldest enjoys an hours peace after school before I pick they younger ones up. Working in a school has the massive plus point of only work term time which saves huge amounts of money as you don't need to pay for holiday clubs etc.

Look at work-from-home options. There are WFH customer service jobs on indeed. Some are flexible with hours.

Thank you for all the advice. I am ‘lucky’ in the sense that I get enough benefits to get us by because of my daughter’s life limiting health conditions. But I am desperate to build some sort of career for myself and don’t know how to go about this.

Hands up not a single parent so not claiming the same, but DH works away for months at a time so needed to plan as if he wasn't available (so not financially or emotionally the same obviously) but logistically, childcare. When we were low income tax credits made up the short fall. When I was lower down the ladder we paid for breakfast and after school club. As I progressed flexible working enabled me to reduce reliance on breakfast club in particular. I worked where commutes fitted to childcare availability, jobs that don't include shifts or weekends. Grandparents (who live hours away) help in school holidays.

i have been a single parent for many years working FT. I have used a variety of childcare solutions and actually, for some years, it was pretty tough as DS has sensory issues and autism and could not tolerate the fist nursery he was in or after school club. So in the end, I had a nanny who came to the house, which was expensive but the only way to manage.

to the poster who said single parents do the same as any couple - childcare - I don’t think it is the same. If you have no support from the other parent, you need to do the FT job, all the parents meetings, dentists, days off, all domestic stuff yourself. You are the person who is responsible for all the bills, cleaning, buying clothes, gardening, outings, holidays. Nothing is shared. Being a working single parent is not just about finding childcare, it’s doing everything yourself. All the time.

Anyway, to the OP, I would ask around if anyone knows any childminders. I like the idea of a PP to look into registering as a childminder yourself, but that would depend how much demand there is.

a friend of mine does freelance copy-editing but I don’t know how much that pays or how you get into it.

I wonder why the majority of suggestions involve looking after other people's kids? Serious question that is. Maybe OP has other inate skills that she can utilize, why is it the default suggestion she looks after the children of other, better-paid, working parents?

How does anyone work? Childcare. It's irrelevant that you're single - plenty of couples both work full time too. My husband and I both work long hours. We use childcare.

theHate fair point, for me it is the thing I think I would like to do if for whatever reason I cannot do my current job. I like working with children 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do really like children actually. I am thinking of doing a child development part time degree.

I know someone who works from home doing data input. She's contracted 15 hours a week but how she divides that up is on her... so easy to fit around school. Not sure how readily available such work is though...

I was a childminder for many years..

I was offered a cleaning job school hours.

My current job is 7 days a week but i work Saturday one week, Sunday the next but some work Eow..

The other option is school kitchens ..

The only thing i am not clear on Does Dd need regular medical appointments/ days off? Makes it harder

Can't the father take 50/50 responsibility would be my first thought.

Also quite shocking the school doesn't offer after school club. Have you asked them about the possibility of providing care so that you're able to work. If that's really a non starter than childminders often will offer pickups from local schools.

Can you take a job that's WFH? I pick up DC early twice a week and work have no issue with it, but this would only.be possible because I don't have to travel to an office.

We've also got a massive shortage of cleaners round here who can pick their hours and charge around 15 quid an hour.