To ask how single parents work?

[TiredSloth]

I stopped working when my dd was born with complex health problems. They are lifelong but she’s doing well and is thriving in school. I also have a ds who is in school. I would like to get back into work but I don’t know how. My dc school has breakfast club but no after school club and it is a small rural school with no nearby childcare provisions. My dc are with their dad eow. Aibu to ask how I can get a job when my only available hours are 9-3, Mon-Fri?

That's not true. Many employers are flexible, I work for a Local Authority and know people who are on part time hours, term time only. I've also worked for charities in the past, who are also very flexible.

Fast food places like McDonald’s do a lot of 9-3 style shifts.

Never understand why people come on threads like this and say they "can't believe" there isn't any childcare. Why would the op lie or not do her research ? Is it so hard to accept that not all places are the same?

You still have 2 parents to do the school run, yourself and your husband. To cover the 13 weeks of school holidays you have double the amount of AL between you both to cover inset days, holidays and if the child is sick.

You have the option but it seems you are unable to see past your privilege self.

The only thing i am not clear on Does Dd need regular medical appointments/ days off? Makes it harder

Yes she does and has had surgery/will need more.

Can you work when the children are at their dads? Call centres need weekend/night shift workers.

It's difficult because even with childcare (which doesn't always cover all the sick days or school holidays) you have to have energy and concentration levels and manage the knock-on effect of little time for your own and your children's needs, yet alone all the household management, appointments, etc..
People manage it differently according to individual circumstances. Certainly a support network helps.
I used the earlier years to retrain in a new profession. The studying was part time and a lot of it I could do from home. I've been very fortunate in finding flexible work from home and my ex is very supportive with childcare. I know I'm lucky to have had those resources to hand.
I imagine in your position I'd look at the skills you have from your previous job as great strengths for working from home. Nowadays so much more training and work is possible online, I'd look into that, while building qualifications or experience for when the children are older. And seeing if I could strengthen my support network locally too.

@ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat yes I think its hard for some people to comprehend unfortunately

Childcare. All the schools around here have breakfast club and teatime club, so I am covered from 8am to 6pm. Even at that it is tricky with holidays - holiday clubs don't cover Christmas and the end of August, so I wipe out most of my leave then.

It isn't easy, and I only work 30 hours, which gives me flexibility to make up missed time. Also my career progression has suffered if I am honest, so it's lucky I put in the years before having DS.

It’s hard, OP. You may need to think outside the box a bit - some childminders would be willing to do your school pick up, for example. A work from home job might work for you, as would working part time hours between, say, 10am - 2pm.

Ok - fair point meadow and seems OP is also into the childminding idea, I recall worshipping the ground ds's childminders walked on in his pre-school days, it's a job that would have me running for the hills. So just stating there's other ways too.

Good Luck OP

I know how you feel OP, my DD has learning disabilities, autism and ADHD and is 15, her special needs school only runs 9-2 every day and she can’t be left alone she needs close supervision so it’s seriously limiting, especially due to her age as childminders etc aren’t equipped to take teens and after school clubs for disabled teens are non existent. Her dad isn’t around and my parents don’t live close, so really, it’s utterly impossible for me to get a job. People don’t realise how difficult it is to juggle life, I do a small amount of volunteer work and online courses

@TiredSloth are you close to a civil service building or local authority? The public sector tends to be more flexible for things like appointments if you can get flexi time, sometimes even term time contracts or school hour contracts, especially if you can find a role that's not public facing.

It's bloody hard isn't it OP? My school doesn't have after school club either. There's one childminder who picks up from the school, who has no spaces, and only has kids until 5.30.

I was lucky to already have a job and they kindly agreed to let me do part time hours that accommodate school hours. I want to leave the job now but can't find anything as accommodating.

Train as a childminder? Work term time only?

I work for the civil service and we have a lot of staff who work those hours, also do term time. I always worked as a single parent, wrap around care at school or childminder. I never worked just school hours

I had a childminder, who didn't drive, but who was excellent and 5 miles from the village primary school they attended. I dropped them off at 8am and went to work.

I paid for a taxi firm to collect them from school and take them to the childminder. I collected them from her at 6pm. As others have said there are various solutions to problems. It feels defeatist to announce you can only work school hours without exploring all avenues to make it work for you.

I’m a LP and there are options available.

In your position (town 45mins away, you like children, considering a child dev degree), I would encourage you to either pursue the child dev degree or else sign on with a local adult education centre and do a course to be a TA.

Other school hour friendly jobs include becoming a childminder; working in a restaurant/pub doing the lunchtime shift 10-2 or else finding an office job that you can leave in time to pick the kids up.

I’ve been really lucky with the firm that I work at that they’ve been incredibly flexible over the years as to what hours I work to be able to collect my son from school.

(Sorry if I’m teaching granny to suck it eggs) Do not, under any circumstances, consider MLM as it’s a scam and you will not make any money, no matter what the person recruiting you may say. There’s a long running anti-MLM thread here under Money Matters and also a page on FB called Anti MLM Police that’s worth a look if you are considering it. This includes Usborne Books, Body Shop and Forever Living etc.

As you say you like children, best bet is to ask the school where your DC attend to come in to have the children read to you, and then ask if you could volunteer there while undertaking your TA training.

We (exDH and I) chose a school with excellent wraparound care for this very reason. It was a priority in our mind. Without it we'd be fucked.

It seems that looking for or becoming a childminder is the way to go!
I would love a work from home position.

Childcare. Many kids are in wraparound at school, at a childminder or a service that picks up. I'm not saying it's easy but most people have no choice but return to work after maternity leave

If you are talking about ANY job, then the obvious solution is to find work that can be done from home. I knew someone who made a business out of cake decorating (for birthdays, etc), or dressmaking, an ironing service, or chilminding. (that is childminding for other people).
Obviously all these require skills, etc, and without knowing more about you, I cannot say what you should do. However, it might give you some ideas of something else that you can do.
JK Rowling wrote books, but very few are likely to become so successful.
Another idea is to use the opportunity for retraining.
Then there are jobs that operate only during term time, such as dinner lady, teaching assistant, but these jobs go very quickly.

Although I have looked at childcare provisions in the area and can’t find any that will collect from school.

I was lucky enough to find a fantastic childminder. She took DCs to school and picked them up and had them throughout holidays. When she was on holiday DCs went to GPs 200 miles away. They lived rurally near a beach and DCs loved it - I found it hard.

XH was very unreliable so if he did turn up to take them it was a bonus - couldn’t count on it. For a time I had a WFH job with one day a week in the office which was an early flight away. I paid teenager next door to babysit and then take DCs across the road to childminder. CM would take them home and put them to bed that day. Sometimes she’d have them overnight (she had her own DCs).

I was very lucky.

This - Not to mention a duel income to help cover the costs.

I was a co-parent now I’m co parenting and single parenting, currently on mat leave.

I’ll return to work ft in a PA office job I’ve done for nearly 14 years. I know the next few years will suck for having much money beyond childcare care and bills but it’s a short term pain to keep my career going and to stay on the career/earning well ladder.

im fortunate that I work for a family friendly company - they know flexibility is a must and pride themselves on advocating making time for life outside work / life comes first so I’m at least going to be able to keep it up if I need to take any sort of parental leave or sick leave for myself (they also have great health care benefits) which suit what I need from a job right now.

career and single parenting is a tough mix, not impossible but rough. I have a bugbear about women who claim to practically be “single parent” because their partner never helps/works a lot/is away a lot, it’s not comparable at all!