To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

I don't believe in God but I do feel DD has missed out on the community aspect of going to church. She has no relationship with anyone over the age of about 60. Our local Church has a new reverend (happens to be One of DDs friends parents) and they've turned the church into a community hub which I think is great.
Food bank, free cooked lunches twice a week for the lonely, unwaged etc, youth group, parent and toddler groups, parade of light at Halloween, Easter egg hunts, Christmas productions, lantern walks and carolling. I can get behind all of these things. They also did an 'adopt a grandparent/grandchild' type of event and purposefully had those interested older congregation members and younger children have specific session to spend time together which was lovely. We are in a disadvantaged area with many people who don't drive so they organised daytrips and coaches to take people to local places they couldn't reach otherwise.

They've worked really hard on making the Church central to the community again and diversified, by getting people through the doors in the first place people have been less intimidated to go to Church on a Sunday because they know friendly faces and whilst some of those people don't believe in a deity they benefit from the guidance and stories in a holistic way.

Are you simply wanting to run events that young people join, or you want them to also join the Sunday service? If the former, why?

There is so much out there now for young people. My daughters world is not the world I grew up in. Church would not be on her radar. She gets community elsewhere. She gets activities with fantasic coaches elsewhere. She gets a sense of the world from nature, and interacting with it. For me, the Church is in the past.

As others have pointed out, most children and teenagers go to church simply because they were brought up religious and their families go. There aren't going to be many 15 year olds who suddenly think I know, I'll spend my Sunday morning at church this week rather than hanging with my friends at the park, no matter how exciting you try and make it. Education has come a long way and science is overtaking religion.

Restart a traditional church choir with traditional music. Pay the choirboyschildren to attend. Sell it to the parents that this gives their children not only a significant advantage in music, but also on terms of confidence, behaviour, and life skills.

When the children attend, parents may well follow.

I think you just have to be honest about what is a religious event and what is not
people can see faith in action about a toddler group or a foodbank or a youth group without any preaching, prayers or anything
our church runs a toddler group, there are no spiritual songs prayers or readings
there are toys games and coffee tea cake for parents there is a stand with leaflets invitations to carol services etc the building is for us, same with the youth group, they are told is they have queastions they can ask but if not they just have a space, sometimes they help kids by talking through responses to bullying etc the foodbank is elsewhere in outr community but we have a church cafe which runs as at not for profit business if someone wants help there is always someone available, but nothing pressurised or even hinted apart from the leaflet stand and a noticeboard with what's on, they run CAP courses again no religion, or when social services borrow part of building for parenting classes etc. The only rule for groups using the building is nothing anti church, no alcohol and no removing or covering up the signs that it is a church. ie if you are using the sunday school room for a job club you can't cover up the childrens work on the walls or move the leaflet stand at entrance but you are not expected to dish out the leaflets There are distinct groups which are religious you can't turn up at a bible study thinking they won't be bible reading discussion and prayer

I don't think we should be encouraging any young person to go to Church, or mosques, or synagogues unless they want to.

We should encourage them to explore spirituality in their own way.

I did go to church as a child and i did enjoy aspects of it...i remember loving the childrens' Christian crusade but i am not religious now.

I think the problem is complex
Children's services don't often run every week because not many children
Also not many older members want the services with the kids as they don't know how to behave
It's boring for older ones. Really boring

Church discos were such fun in the late 70s. They used to serve fruit punch but we would smuggle in spirits stolen from my parents drink cabinet; most of us had our first sexual experiences and cigarettes in the bushes outside the hall; one of my school friends was convinced she was pregnant because one of the boys fingered her - we spent weeks and weeks thinking up names for the baby. We were so naive and the Nuns made everything sound sinful. They would ask you to sit down if you tried to pogo, but the more sexualised disco dancing was strangely permitted: I remember obscenely swinging my hips to that song, 'You Can Ring My Bell.' I was once sent home for wearing a boob tube that I'd borrowed from an older neighbour's daughter although I was as flat as a board and had to keep holding it up on the way there. One of my friends had ripped out the pages from a public library copy of Anais Nin's erotica which we used to read aloud and laugh in the toilets; we used to pretend that our sherbet dip dabs were cocaine and smear it around our faces... We all thought we were wildly sophisticated when in reality we were absurdly provincial and silly. Although we did give the nuns a run for their money. Such fun!😂

I know my sister who is on the fence with believing in god would attend any baby/child/family activity advertised to get out of the house and meet adults.

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats: My DS bought a Nintendo Switch with his saved-up Chorister Stipend... and the cathedral put him through singing-grade exams and music theory classes, too. Mind you, he's not a Christian, and I'm at best an irregular churchgoer, so...!

Just to add, I don't think it's just the Christian faith that's declining. I know several young Muslims who don't believe, don't pray or go to Mosque. Young people today have the world at their fingertips in the form of the internet and are able to rationally think and make their own decisions on religion, which may not align with their parents.

My daughter used to go to a youth club in one several years back - her main reason for going was her friends and the fact they gave them all chips

She said she ignored the religious bit (which was only a few minutes of it) and as far as I know not one of them went to church services there, nor did their parents

I too think that the young are more liberal. The vast majority will be supportive of gay marriage for example.... religions generally not so much. Most young people will be growing up far more aware of sexism and gender equality.... again the church is behind in this regard. The churches beliefs, values and policies don't align with the youth of today. Everyone can get on board with love thy neighbour but the church is an out of date institution.

It also uses its historic position to utilise more influence/power than it should have. For example, parents won't appreciate being further down the schools admissions criteria because they don't attend the local (Tax Payer funded) CofE school- it's not inclusive and therefore hypocritical. Ultimately the church will have to change and evolve if it wants to significantly grow its membership.

A LOT more 'life' and soul in the Services is what is needed. I would love to see Gospel singing too. I hardly go to Church now, because it's so dull and boring. Our old Reverend that was here for the first 4 or 5 years I was in my village left for new pastures, and someone else took over. (5 years ago.) With the best will in the world, this new one seems unable to be be interesting. They are so boring, the sermon is boring, the services are boring.

The 'Family Services' (that were once a month,) used to include fun and games and quizzes and laughs and joy. Now, they're dull as fuck. Unsurprisingly, the numbers have dropped from 40 or so adults, and about 25 children, to some 6 to 8 adults and 2 or 3 children.

The only time we get any more, is when 2 or 3 couples or families come to a service because they want to use the Church to get married, or to have their baby Christened. Even then there's only about 15-18 people. It's not uncommon for the Church to have a congregation in single figures. It's sad, but it's flat out put me off going. I have been just 5 times this year. CBA with it now sadly. And I can tell you that children/young people don't want to go. It's just too boring.

ok, ill entertain the idea, if you wanted to recruit me, these are my considerations
regular tea, and cake sessions or meal sessions, then rooms for eg games, other events, etc

@PhotoDad
Both my children sang in church choirs then took up the organ. One has just graduated from his conservatoire degree, the other will be starting his degree at Oxford with an organ scholarship in a few weeks I think singing in a church or cathedral choir is a brilliant basis for a musical education. Belief doesn't even need to come into it - it still adds bums on seats at church and builds a habit 😁

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats I'll give you an 8-bar polyphonic AMEN to that. We've tried to interest DS in the organ (as there's one at his school) but he already genuinely has too many activities so we're not pushing him. Congratulations to both your DSs!

Honestly I think most people are at least agnostic, if not atheist now.
I know a handful of religious people, only 1 goes to church regularly and only that person is raising their children within their religion.
I think it’s harder due to these reasons, if people don’t believe then that aren’t interested in attending church.

In my opinion, you shouldn't be doing anything to trick people into engaging with a religion.

The core concept of most religions is that it is the "one true path for a good life and afterlife, often dictated by an all-powerful deity" or something along those lines.

If people aren't interested in what your religion has to say on that then you just have to accept it's no longer relevant to the society it's operating in, which isn't a bad thing at all.

Why would you want to encourage young people to church? Surely they know it's there and what it's for.

This might controversial (sorry) but the only young people.i know that go to church of their own free will are very socially awkward, have no friends and are v vulnerable. I think they find some peace and companionship there, which is nice. But I do worry that church has now become a lace for indoctrination of the vulnerable

My BIL's church succeeds in attracting a good size congregation including young people. It is very evangelical, cheery, well organised, modern (services have been live streamed since 2020) and friendly and the seats are comfy. They run a food bank, community lunches, a nursery, holiday playscheme and have essentially taken over the failing local high school and made it rather religious, but it's not failing any more (if I were local, which I'm not, I don't know how I'd feel about the not-failing versus the indoctrination).

It's an impoverished area. No doubt there are people not in a position to mind about the religious aspect when they need food, childcare etc.

I'm never sure how I feel about it all. They've never tried to convert me and to be fair, I think you could get plenty of meals and childcare without them trying - they genuinely want to help society.

I do loathe the foul modern music though. I can see it's more inclusive, but talk about chucking hundreds of years of amazing music on the scrapheap.

Don't. Just leave people alone and don't try and convert them, it's grim.

Free childcare during services?

I’m not Christian and nor are my kids - but we were enticed in by the offer of free singing tuition, free theory lessons up to G5, singing in harmony (school didn’t do that) and a wonderful Director of Music who makes choir rehearsals the highlight of the week. And, crucially, no judgement or expectation about belief.

We stayed because the choir community is incredible (so supportive through lockdown) and the wider church community aren’t pushy but are very welcoming if I ever do come to a church event. Also the DC do love getting their chorister pay!

I'm not trying to recruit or brainwash children.

I attend a methodist church when I can. It's just a nice way to meet others. We showed our talents today. Lots of knitters, artists and cross stitchers. Mine was rubbish, that I ran a long way non stop.

It was just sad I was one of the youngsters is all.