To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

I think you either go full on evangelical - plenty of full churches in that part of the CoE - or you focus on serving the community by acting out your religion and go from there. Local church to me hosts the community fridge (put spare food in if you have it, take it if you need it, no questions asked) and the community larder (surplus food donated from supermarkets etc, people pay a membership either individual or household of around £3-6 a week, and you come once a week to take a certain number of items without money changing hands). Both very effective and not food banks, though a food bank could happen too, they have the space. Run a circle of accountability for sex offenders, a social group for asylum seekers, turn the church into a homeless shelter or a warm bank; make your churchyard into a wildlife space. Ask not who will attend your church; ask why you attend your church.

An alternative is to make your church musical in some way. My current nearest church picked up attenders when they restarted the choir and started having concerts in the evenings. That's how I started going to church as a girl, to sing.

I'll be honest, I didn't have the energy to organise any of this when i was religious. I learned that churches have always been built to be bigger than their communities actually needed, to maximise their impact. We spent most of our time on the PCC trying to work out how to pay the parish share tbh.

OP,
I think what you are talking about is "outreach".

Perhaps, and I say this kindly, (because I don't know what denomination it is) you could have a look at your outreach policy?

I think that would be a lot better than asking a group of random strangers who don't know the demographics of the area.

The service needs to be shorter and the hymns more upbeat. Far too long, far too dreary.

i'm not religious but i'll answer anyway, don't make it preachy and i know that sounds weird but 1. throw out any texts that say gay is a sin or women have to be subservient 2. don't make the atmosphere dreary i always found churches to be beautiful ie the singing or the way the sunlight reflects onto the stained glass so just try to emulate the beauty

I had to go to church as a kid. I believed in it then, but it was so, so boring. I quite liked some of the hymns, but the rest of it....... interestingly, as a non believing adult, I quite like the familiarity of the ritual at things like funerals etc.

But I think the only people you're going to get, are going to be those who actively want to go and worship together. I have Romantic leanings and have felt more of a communion with the world and beyond during a walk up a mountain or woods, than I ever did in a cold, dark building.

I went to church twice on a Sunday as a 24 year old. The church was a big part of my world in those years. We had a fab youth club and lots of kids went. I also did girls brigade when younger. Sunday school was a thing so the kids all left the service to do fun stuff which I helped with. It was a thriving community.

I dated the vicars son though so was invested! 😂 I thought he was the most beautiful person ever. Teenage first love and lots to do seems the key 😂

I know that’s quite an old link I’ve posted, but even in 2014 there was no excuse for that attitude at the very top of the CofE.

Your fundamental issue though is that young people have more freedom to think about what they actually believe, than just attend church because they’re expected to.

You said you didn’t want to talk about belief - but you can’t avoid it.

If you want to increase numbers, you’ll need to reposition yourself as a lifestyle not a religion.

Letting children be open minded and offer both sides to belief. Not entering playgrounds with 'activities' then preaching to kids about church.

A youth club ?

Kids today often associate religion with much of what's wrong in the world. They are also wary of people who are too earnest and church people often are, when they try to connect with teens.

I think that one problem is that teens/young people do all like different things. Some of the suggestions above wouldn't work for my DC. For instance, my DS sings (he used to be in the main cathedral choir, but now that his voice is breaking he's in an auxiliary one!) and he would stop going if the music were made more modern/upbeat.

Sorry meant 14 year old! I did an alpha course about 24 after a few years away. I found as an adult church was quite clicky. Church was in an area of deprivation and felt a bit like the middle classes helping the poor people but not actually letting them in the leadership club! I had a faith but didn't like church as an adult. I don't have faith anymore.

I think this is something the church itself can't fix

Less and less people believe in God. If they don't believe they're not going to be turning up to church

My DH caused waves when we moved into our home and started going to the local church, he was the youngest by about 30 years (at age 35)

Our kids go with him, but when they get old enough to make their own decision about what they believe in I can expect most if not all of them will no longer engage with the church.

This

I went to church this morning as my children were taking part with cubs/beavers.
My observations as a 40+ person (so not young).

The majority of the congregation were 70+ and clearly had their own seats. I was worried about breaking protocol.
The vicar, while very smiley and welcoming, was not engaging. His sermon didn't make me think about my life or my values - it felt like a work presentation on something not in my area of expertise.
I didn't know any of the hymns, the tunes to which all seem to have very odd random ups & downs in pitch. Except The Lord is my Shepherd and it was sung soooo sloooowly it was painful.

I'm an open door, I'd like to start going, but the church feels like a different world that doesn't belong to me.

But that’s the issue, it’s not ‘these days, - those things have been preferred and cooler for decades now. No macdonalds - but cafes/pubs in the last century. I’m nearing 50 and I preferred those things as did my parents.

I think as others have suggested, becoming embedded in the local community with baby and toddler groups and welcoming families on a Sunday (family service) is the way forward. With older kids/teens getting them involved on providing kids activities and youth clubs is the method many progressive Christian churches operate.

Be more open minded and accepting of differences ?
A lot of young people think church goes are homophobic and transphobic and don’t want to be associated with their their beliefs.

I suppose there is very little you can do to increase the Sunday attendance.

However, many churches seem to accept this and choose to open their doors to the community for other things (many activities as such mentioned above).
This is great! It makes fantastic use of the church hall, brings people together and creates a sense of community even without the God element.

I am an atheist, but I would absolutely attend with my children;
Halloween party
Christmas Party with a father Christmas
Easter crafts
Baby and toddler groups
Film and popcorn night
Youth disco
On and on!

You could charge a nominal fee to pay towards the next event or invite outside individuals to host their events in your space. Many events aimed at parents are increasingly expensive, I know those in my area would jump on a cheaper event offered in a church hall.

Also - resist the temptation to meddle a lot in your local schools, even if they are officially CofE.

There's been a huge push lately by the CofE to increase the amount it imposes religion in schools. Its been extremely noticeable where I live, where the school has gone from having a historical, casual link with the village church (vicar doing an assembly at easter & Christmas) to a move from church to dominate the governing body, the introduction of class prayers and a huge amount more religious focus. Assembly renamed collective worship, kids taught very insistently (as if factual) that god created the world.

This has actually deterred and worried most local parents, who are frankly scared by religious groups proselytising and evangelising to their children in school where parents aren't there. The villagers dont have a choice but to send their children to this school, as the nearest secular state school is nearly 5 miles away with no public transport and not enough places.

This has made most people rather dislike the local church.

You couldn't pay my daughter to go to church. She also got 'conned' (her words) by something at school that appeared to be ok and then they sprung praying and bibles on them and she was livid.

Kids aren't coming because they don't believe in a deity, which is entirely up to them.

Evangelical churches are growing as they tend to have interesting lively services ( quality depends on the minister) and they have LOADS going on and create great community. They also, well, evangelize to get new recruits. How far they get converts and how far they draw Christian’s from duller churches I don’t know.

We also do Minecraft nights and this is cool. It means the kids are with us and not out climbing roofs and breaking bones. (Like they did before!)

The issue is a lot of religious people believe that stuff like Harry Potter and Minecraft are evil. Absolutely bloody ridiculous.

Just let the kids have fun! And be safe.

My parents go to church even though they don’t particularly believe in God, for a general sense of community and goodness. I don’t go to church because I don’t particularly believe in God, and I get my community elsewhere. I think that’s one of the fundamental changes - it’s not really that fewer people believe, it’s that lack of belief didn’t previously put people off! For churches to be relevant, I think they need to provide the community that a lot of people are seeking.

We have quite an active youth group in our church and the things I think help are:

• active outreach (food bank, toddler groups, light parties at Halloween)
• genuinely family friendly service where it’s not a problem if children get up and wander round / make noise during worship
• good crèche, primary and secondary groups during the sermon run by fully dbs’s volunteers that make it fun for the young people (people over 18 are encouraged to stay for the sermon and have separate social events for them)

We also welcome questions! We don’t mind if people don’t believe and welcome everyone. We try hard to build a sense of community and family for all so everyone young and old is included.

I was brought up RC and had to go every Sunday until I left home. Honestly, I didn't care to much about getting up early on a Sunday, that it was cold, that it was largely elderly people, that the hymns were dreary, that we had a very dull priest etc etc

I just never believed in it. As much as I could (and still do) appreciate the ritualistic and communal nature of it, there was always something at the back of my mind going "This is utterly ridiculous, it's contrary to every critical thinking skill I'm encouraged to use otherwise."

IMO, the decline of religion in the UK and among young people isn't (largely) because churches are cold or hymns are dull. It's that the beliefs it's all centred around are ... dubious and people now have the option to do without them.