To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

I stopped going when I was early teens. It was cold (physically), most of the other people were much older & didn't bother to talk to a child. The hymns were played & sung so slowly that it was impossible to sing to the end of the line of some of them without running out of breath. There was nothing for kids past about the age of 8 (Sunday school but that was only for the much younger kids).

DD has said she would like to go to church, but won't go on her own. DH is atheist, & TBH most of the churches near us haven't changed much since I was a kid. I'd happily go if the services weren't so bloody miserable. We did try, briefly, a few years ago. Very discouraging & we both decided to stop after a couple of months. She liked the Sunday school but like me, found the service dreary & unwelcoming.

No, that sounds uncomfortable. Ours isn't like that. It's just toys, tea and biscuits. Free and open to everyone. No prayers at all.

I think what you described sounds awkward and uncomfortable. I wouldn't like that! X

@Ihatecocomelon don't you have a youth and families worker? Or are you the youth and families worker??

A church where I grew up did a rock communion once per month. Instead of ordinary hymns they had a band playing rock songs (albeit with religious lyrics). The lead singer was attractive and definitely kept my increasingly atheist teenage self going to church longer than any other type of service would!

I'm not trying to have a go at you btw OP. I totally get that if you're getting a lot out of church then you might want to encourage others to go. And obviously churches want to increase number of churchgoers.

Belonging to a church historically offered a lot of things to people- community, charity, a sense of awe etc... 'food for the soul'. But most people seek those things in other places nowadays, if they seek them at all.

And also religion starts at home more than anything, if they are not brought up strongly in it then they are not going to continue it in their own adult lives with theor own offspring. Eventually religion will likely die in some countries more than others.

The point is, that there’s too much recruiting going on. And a lit of it is devious.

I'm a Christian and believe that it's very important not to manipulate people into coming to events if there is some kind of motive to sneak the Gospel in. Things should be transparent and be led by the person/people attending.

When I started going to church, the Pastor said 'this is our church: welcome. It's not a cult; I just preach the Word of God. If you like it come back, if not, you don't have to'. There was never any pressure, which made me want to come back.

I think it's fine to put on lots of general, secular style events and use the community space to help people living locally (except for Halloween parties as mentioned by pp which I don't celebrate) as long people know what they are signing up for. It's a great opportunity to be a blessing and to show that not all Christians are total hypocrites and many really do have hearts full of love.

It's then that the church can respond to any questions anyone may have about Jesus, and sign point/support them accordingly. However I really do feel that the hunger for God comes from within and can't be achieved by gimmicks, certainly not in any meaningful way.

Thank you everyone for your help.

Oh and I went to a church-run youth club as a teenager. It was fun. Not in a million years would it have even occurred to me to attend the church as a result of that though.

I was brought up RC and had to attend church weekly until I was 16. Frankly (I apologise), I found it excruciatingly boring.

My mum eventually had me doing Children’s liturgy (looking after the children and drawing with them until communion, then returning to mass for the last bit) but I hated that too.

Then I was asked to play guitar as part of the group that did the hymns, but I hated that too.

After mass each Sunday, the adults would loiter outside the church and talk about each other; who hadn’t turned up; who was getting divorced; who’s teenager had been in trouble. Tedious.

I never baptised my own child and I have never taken him to church. I probably never will. I simply can’t imagine it ever being appealing to young people, unless they find faith as a response to trauma.

I would actively avoid going to Anything run by a church - baby groups or anything else !! I have a very bad association with religion and so no matter what you do I would not come because it’s associated with a church unfortunately! My friends would be the same.

i’m catholic, brought my children up catholic, younger one was even an alter server but neither of them go now. they basically have issues with the churches stance on homosexuality, same sex marriage, contraception, abortion, divorce etc. they fundamentally might believe in God but don’t agree with the Church stance on these issues so they will never attend or be a part of church life. no amount of youth clubs or film nights will change that i am afraid.

So for me OP the church offers no value and as an activity I see no benefits to it. We did messy church and playgroup because there was a purpose. I am an atheist but I can understand the pull of religion and there are elements of church that I enjoy but not enough to make me want to go. My DC do Brownies, sports and use the library which are all activities which give them a sense of community and social diversity but also help them learn, keep fit and develop their skills. The church offers none of this.

Because it is boring. Being preached at. Because its often early in the morning and teenagers like to lay in until lunchtime. Especially of they have been out the night before. If mine needs to be up there needs to be the enticement of a bacon sandwhich. And anyway why do they need to go to church and sit in particular church in order to believe. Faith os a very personal thing and they can believe and pray anywhere. Going to church in fancy clothes does bot make one person a better person/believer or more faithful than someone who doesnt go

Why do you want to attract more young people to your church? Is that what you are being called to do? Is that meeting a need in the community around you?
Maybe you’re being called to minister to the homeless, or to business men, or to the elderly?
You want lots of children/young people but do you have the people who are willing to work with them? Is your church willing to change the way they do things to meet the needs of what would be a radically different population?

We went to a midweek toddler group at a church - religion free. They advertised a messy church on a Saturday and we went along - same friendly volunteers were there so felt like we knew people already, and ds loved the activities, stories, songs, puppets and shared food at the end. There was nothing to ‘get wrong’ and no-one was bothered if you joined in or not. It’s stopped now, sadly.

We used to go to a Sunday morning church - we attended before kids and we were in the choir. There were kids activities but with toddlers, it was always a bit hit and miss as to how accepting people were of noise as no Sunday school - kids at a table at the back. We still liked going though as made friends there.

Then someone started coming and trying to be involved in leadership who we had some safeguarding concerns about - the church handled it really poorly and we decided not to bother going anymore. We since have found we use the Sunday morning time for other stuff and haven’t bothered to find a new church.

Honestly?

Less religion/talk of god, faith etc.

Accept that churches can have a role in communities, but its likely to be increasingly neutral and non religious, and focussed on sharing the more generic values of Christianity - charity, supporting family & neighbours, appreciating the earth around us.

Youth groups - but resist the temptation to be adding in prayers, songs or stories about god, requirement or suggestion to attend traditional services, peddling of Alpha courses etc.

The UK is increasingly largely secular. You will have a hard time convincing educated young people that a god exists which science simply contradicts. If such god exists, why do they need worship? Isnt it enough for their people to lead kind, caring, happy and fulfilling lives?

The church needs to evolve if it is to survive in any form at all. You aren't going to get people to believe in a set of very implausible things that very handily answered a lot of difficult questions 1000 years ago but are increasingly resolved by science.

You can't.
Church numbers have dropped.
People don't believe in ancient hearsay anymore.

Oh god, that reminds me of being in school. Once a month for about three months the vicar would turn up with beard, flannel cardigan, and an acoustic guitar to play Wonderwall.

Persuaded precisely no one.

Can you create a stranglehold on good schools in your area and find some way of making a supposedly secular system of government allow you to get away with prioritising families of your faith for places?
That would get people with young families in, though I know it sounds crazy.

Hopefully nothing works and they stay away. The sooner we are rid of organised religion the better. For example, one of the reasons the world is so insanely overcrowded, and that Africa has an out of control birth rate, is that the Catholic Church preaches against birth control. And don’t get me started on the oppression of women. Religion has done more to oppress women than anything else.

I’d rather know how to get children interested in science. How do we get more girls studying the STEM subjects, that’s a better question.

Thinking about it, your question is kind of creepy. Why young people? Are they easier to brainwash?

Also I truly believe you don’t have to be a church goer to have faith.

Assuming you’re CofE, you need to change your attitude from top to bottom.
Today’s teens - thank “god” - are quite passionate in general about equality.

amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/17/church-of-england-is-homophobic

These are all good things to do and it is absolutely one of the positives of religious belief that it can drive altruistic behaviour in some people. I (as an athiest) have a lot more respect for churches that do positive things like this than the 'cool religion' evangelism some people are suggesting.

I was very religious as an older teenager, then it sort of tailed off and now I’d say I’m agnostic. For me the big thing that would keep me going is a strong community. We went to our village church about once a month after we had ds and had him christened, then haven’t been since, and to be honest I’m a bit disappointed that not one person or the vicar has got in touch with us to check in with us and ask why we haven’t been around. It’s been five months. It’s similar, congregation of maybe 40 people, 80% older. The churches I really enjoyed going to as a teenager were just full of young people and quite happy clappy but not extremely so. It’s nice to have a band and some more modern songs but it’s sort of a chicken and egg, having those things without an enthusiastic young congregation is also embarrassing.