To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

And there in lies the problem. If you have unwelcoming (however small a group) of your church people will go once and not go again. What has got my daughter interested is messy church and food! They do messy church for 1.5 hours and then a meal for everyone. She loves it. I wish they did it every week as she really gets something out of it.

Because you can't force faith. You either have it or you don't. It's not a social club.

Everyone is welcome. Yes even me who isn't sure. We even have cake and biscuits after the church part :)

But many Christians do force their beliefs on people. I am a church goer, but my hairdresser talks religious recruitment whilst cutting my hair, I now have a new hairdresser!!

What is messy church please?

Yes, I agree.

A Christian youth group visited our school, and everyone really engaged with the moral and spiritual debates. Then we all loathed, BIG TIME, the preachy, hand clappy "Christian cool" event at the end of the week.

Kids can smell fakery.

And if you say you aren't interested in debating the validity of religion - you won't have any success in appealing to the young. Young people are full of questions, and it's a massive turn off to be told that things aren't up for debate.

I dont think there is any tricking ,I dont go to church now
But when I was a kid the church we attended was very much part of the community with lots of activities for young and old ,people don't have to have a faith to enjoy being part of a community.

I also think we can't do much because of funds. There's only so much the same people can donate or sell cake and jam.

It was more for people to join in socially for me but I guess it's cooler to hang out at the park or McDonald's these days.

Our church provides a free non religious baby and toddler group because there isn't one locally.

It also provides a non religious food bank because we live in such a deprived area.

Oh and also provides a mental health support groups that are non religious.

are those also wrong?? Probably not.

☹️

how family friendly are the services? How accepting of general child behaviour are your church community? I think what can put off lots of parents is feeling like they don’t belong/feeling guilty because their child/baby isn’t totally silent.

I haven’t been to a normal, run of the mill church service for years and last time I went with my mother and then baby I felt like a monster when said baby started cooing loudly during prayers, due to the stink eye coming my way from others. which was at odds with their conversation beforehand: “oh lovely to see a baby in church!” Etc 🤷‍♀️

Luckily I’m not a religious person so I’m not missing out. It’s good that you’re interested in how to make your church more welcoming to those who are interested.

It's not about tricking people into going. It's about welcoming people in to see who else is there and whether you feel comfortable there.

People have a lot of assumptions about what church is like, based on what they read in the news and what they may have experienced donkey's years ago.

When people come in and discover they don't need to be smartly or formally dressed (that was what put me off), and that everyone there is very ordinary (no sandal wearing robes people with beards and guitars) they are more likely to stay around and ask questions.

Our church is the hub of village life- baby groups, food bank etc.
Of course it's about faith- but it's also much more.

Arts and crafts or activities linked to a theme. So for pentecost lots of fire related activities. They made stained glass flames. They made smores on a fire pit etc......

Easter loads of activities you can do. Same with Christmas.

You have to now book at our messt church as it is so popular.

I should have been more clear. I didn't want to argue with others. Some people might post saying oh you believe in that claptrap etc and I wasn't looking to debate about religion, just asking how to encourage more. I'm not very good at trying to make myself clear. I have autism so what I mean in my head does come out rather muddled haha

@FlimFlamJimJams
"Realistically, people go to church mainly because they believe in a deity - one that will punish them if they don't attend, and reward them if they do"

That is complete and utter claptrap..

Please stop spreading misinformation.

I don’t know if you can do much - if a belief isn’t there then you can’t force it. My DSis and her family are very active church goers but she and her DH have brought their children up in the faith and their whole life is built around the church - if one of my nieces were to step away from it would mean turning their back on their family, friends and everything they know. That’s just not going to happen - just as my children who have been raised with an absence of faith aren’t going to turn their back on that and find faith just because a church is open for soft drinks or craft days.

Not at all, sounds great.

Turn the blooming heating on! My main memory of church was being cold and forced to wear tights/not warm enough clothes to look smart.

but in all seriousness, really nothing could persuade me to go or to make my DC go. I don’t believe in it or especially support the mission. I’d be more likely to take DC to volunteer at our local food bank every Sunday.

Tricking into going by putting on non religious events is so wrong!!

Why? It's a community event in a community space. 🤣 no different than going to your Village Hall for a party.

The village hall isn't trying to entice you into worshipping it. After all, what is the purpose of the church running non-religious community events if not to recruit people to attend church and/or become Christians?

The intention is pretty clear from the fact that the OP's question was not 'What non-religious events could the church provide for young people?' but 'What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?'

I have never taken my children to church because I don't believe in a God. It's that simple.

Church attendence has been declining for centuries, Percy Shelley had an essay published in 1811 titled 'The Necessity of Athiesm', only 50% of the population went to church in the 1850s and the decline became more precipitous from the 1970s. There will likely always be a small percentage of people whose brains are wired differently and are susceptible to religious belief. The church would do better to accept they are a minority interest and adjust their ambitions accordingly. Any additional community building they did disappeared a generation ago as numbers declined.

I think people who are religious also don't necessarily realise how 'out there' some of what happens in church can come across to people who have not been brought up to be religious and don't go to church. Even light touch religious teaching/ practice seems completely alien to me and really put me off going back - there can be lots of rituals, repeating words, praying etc. But it's very hard to convert someone with no faith and the biggest turn off is someone trying. Also if church run a community event I'm automatically suspicious it's a recruitment drive which puts me off.
The church near me do lots of fun things (youth clubs and events at Halloween etc), have far too much access to the local primary school IMO where there's lots of church trips, daily praying and a relatively young popular vicar ...and yet they are only popular with a tiny number of families and don't seem to be growing.
I just wish the church would spend less time trying to convert others. People know where the churches are and what they do - they'll go if they want too!

Play down the religious element...which is unlikely to happen. I think other religions, thrive, because the community elements are strong. People come together though a shared culture and heritage rather necessarily a devout belief in a deity.

Anyone I've met who is a regular church goer is very devout. There aren't many moderates left. This in itself off putting. Very few people believe sex before marriage is a sin for example.

I'm open to the possibility of there Being more to life than meets the eye and interesting discussions on faith. But taking religious texts written 2000 years ago literally isn't something I can buy into. Also the services are either old and stuffy with hyms or a bit naff with Christian rock bands.

I think churches could be an amazing respite from the digital world and a great way to engage in your community. But not without being more relevant. Focusing on good causes and positive actions rather than religion could help? But suspect that counter to what churches want which is believers.

My mum is a Unitarian. It's s really interesting faith. I think it could really be appealing as it is philosophical rather than religious but keeps Christian 'focus'.

No, of course those aren’t wrong!
But when my children were babies there was a lovely group, with teas cakes etc… ( donations if you could afford). But at the end the curtains were half closed in the hall, a reading given and a prayer said. There was no choice in this, as the doors were manned by fierce looking elderly church volunteers! Once prayers were said, it all became lovely again. The group has now folded

I so agree with this brilliant idea shove religion too early and they’ll not come again.

Religion is fractured, its going to change over time, especially as modern life takes over, people lead very busy lives. Finding time to attend church is bottom of the priority list for many.

The root of the question is why would they want to go to church? Mid 30s, went to COE schools in late 90s and 00s, literally no one believed except for the one catholic guy. People went to church if they were made to by parents or school.

I went to an excellent youth centre that was run by Christians who made no mention of god or religion at any point. They were great - let us smoke (it was 16 back then), play football, paint the walls, and if anybody needed help they’d be there. Much better than a church.

They didn’t care that I wasn’t religious, I didn’t care that they were. To go to a church would require a different outlook from both parties.