Would you tell your DS he was a twin? (Trigger warning)

[PawPatrolNightmares]

DS is only 1. He was a twin but I lost his brother at 5/6 months.

I gave birth to both of them. But I never saw the other twin. We said goodbye to him at home by scattering his ashes. I only say that info as there was no funeral or anything and v little to do with family. So it's not like we would be keeping a secret if that makes sense.

Would you tell DS as he gets older? DH thinks it's unnecessary and will make him feel upset.

What would you do?

Yes I would tell him

I'd tell him when he's small, maybe I'd show scan photos to him. If he grows up knowing it then it wont be a shock.

Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how hard it is for you all to go through.

I did - my son is 6.

Not a twin, but DD2 died in pregnancy and we have her foot and hand prints up in the house. It’s not a biggie and we don’t do anything (with the kids) for the anniversary or anything, it’s just there and we know its just part of our family history

I lost a twin very early in pregnancy (it was an ivf pregnancy so we knew it was twins at 8 weeks). I’ve told my dd that she did once have a twin and she’s always been absolutely fine with that, it was a curiosity to her when she was younger. We don’t talk about it often (I also had two other early miscarriages) but obviously the loss for me was different than for you. You just have to give the information in an age appropriate way.

to be clear, did you have a miscarriage or did your son pass at 5/6 months old? I think I’d handle it differently depending on the answer. It’s important to you I know, but living children may not see miscarriages in the same way as you do as they won’t have that bond. If you phrase it as “your brother died” it will understandably upset a young child, so I would only tell him once he’s old enough to emotionally handle it

This is, at best, quite an ignorant thing to say. It was a baby, of course it was, and whether you see it that way personally, I'm sure the OP does.

Anyway, OP, yes I would tell him. These things are important in the family history and are also something that I think he would find it odd if you never told him about (if he found out from somewhere else). I'd tell him early and just make it part of his story.

I would, my mum lost my twin and I always grew up knowing I'm a twinless twin

This is the most insensitive post on this thread.

Of course her baby was a baby and not a foetus. What you said is absolutely disgusting and has made my blood boil.

Her baby was living inside of her, kicking around and sadly that stopped at 5/6 months.

You literally posted to be a nasty piece of work. Get your head checked sicko.

Yes I would tell them when young so they always knew sort of thing and not a shock

This is a very healthy way of dealing with the loss.

Your dh is not handling it well op. And it’s not fair on you. You went through this alone.

My mum lost her twin sibling according to family legend and medical knowledge at the time. It is useful to know medically too.