Page 5 | How often married/long term couples intimate?

Queenieloveforever · 2022-09-17T19:30:55+00:00

If you are married or in a long term relationship how often are you intimate with your partner? Honestly!

jewishmum · 19/09/2022 17:28

Would like to know if anyone has a lock on your bedroom doors or how do you guarantee the child won't walk in? Ours are very sneaky and quiet when entering to steal my phone.

Sometimeswinning · 19/09/2022 17:32

Benes · 19/09/2022 16:23

We enjoy it so it never seems like a chore.
We prioritise sex over things like playing on our phones or watching TV.

Exactly, same here.

If you view it as a chore then I can see why you find it difficult to see how couples find the time. If it's a priority then you find a way!

I usually play on my phone and watch tv when others are about. So i personally couldnt swap that time to have sex.

It wouldn't occur to me to pop off and have sex whilst my kids were around. Our children really don't want to know we're having private time to have sex. But that's us and you obviously have your own opinions on this.

It doesn't mean we prioritise it any less. We just choose to have sex when everyone else is in bed or out the house. This is manageable a few times a week at best or sometimes not at all.

Benes · 19/09/2022 17:42

jewishmum · 19/09/2022 17:28

Would like to know if anyone has a lock on your bedroom doors or how do you guarantee the child won't walk in? Ours are very sneaky and quiet when entering to steal my phone.

A lock on your bedroom door is a must!

Devo1818 · 19/09/2022 17:47

I was thinking about this recently. I heard 10 times a year or less is classed as a sexless or low sex relationship. I thought that was quite a lot to be considered "sexless".

I'd never counted and feel it varies quite a lot so I started on September 1st. So far it has been 3 times. So I guess weekly on average.

Benes · 19/09/2022 17:48

Sometimes do you think we're announcing to our child that we're off to have sex??? Seriously?

DS is 7 and in bed by 8.30/9pm so instead of watching TV we'll often have an early night ourselves.

We also tend to have sex early in the morning before DS wakes up.

Our bedroom is on a different floor too which helps.

I'm aware that as DS gets older things will change but we'll make it work.

Devo1818 · 19/09/2022 17:48

Devo1818 · 19/09/2022 17:47

I was thinking about this recently. I heard 10 times a year or less is classed as a sexless or low sex relationship. I thought that was quite a lot to be considered "sexless".

I'd never counted and feel it varies quite a lot so I started on September 1st. So far it has been 3 times. So I guess weekly on average.

To add, we have been together for about 17 years. 2 kids early primary age.

Bumpsadaisie · 19/09/2022 17:51

Together 20 years, married 16, two DCs 13 and 11. Once or twice a week!

ByeByeMr · 19/09/2022 17:53

2 or 3 times a month 😳

Delatron · 19/09/2022 18:01

I have zero sex drive since the beginning of perimenopause but we manage it 2/3 times a month (initiated by DH - I feel bad but can’t be arsed - I do enjoy it once we get going).

I can’t imagine being with someone 10 years and still having the desire and energy (and time) to have sex twice a day. I’m very impressed though. (I would definitely get bored with so much sex though even when I did have a sex drive!)..

middleofthelittle · 19/09/2022 18:07

Too add to this thread we never have sex at bed time, it's always early evening, mornings or during the day at weekends. Both too tired at night, if we only made advances for sex at 10pm we'd never have sex.

Yorkshiredolls · 19/09/2022 18:22

15 years together, 4 years married, 2 kids 6 & 2. Probably a Couple of times a month? I think we both want to want it more but we just don’t. Its always good but I think part if the problem is that we both like morning and afternoon sex and were too knackered and hardly interested at night time. We’d love a Saturday morning or afternoon sesh in bed but that just doesn’t fit with family life!

Sometimeswinning · 19/09/2022 18:24

Benes · 19/09/2022 17:48

Sometimes do you think we're announcing to our child that we're off to have sex??? Seriously?

DS is 7 and in bed by 8.30/9pm so instead of watching TV we'll often have an early night ourselves.

We also tend to have sex early in the morning before DS wakes up.

Our bedroom is on a different floor too which helps.

I'm aware that as DS gets older things will change but we'll make it work.

I don't know. You didn't specify. I'll be honest i always remember in 19 kids and counting they had some kind of sign on their door to let their kids know they weren't to be disturbed. This did pop into my head.

I have 3. 13, 11 and 7. So the oldest one goes to bed at the same time as us. Apart from weekends. Plus our youngest is up before us. We do find the time but to assume we're prioritising phones and TV was pretty unfair.

Benes · 19/09/2022 18:32

We do find the time but to assume we're prioritising phones and TV was pretty unfair.

I didn't assume anything about you. You chose to take it as a personal dig.

You, however, are making personal comments which are pretty unnecessary.

I can understand how it may be more challenging in larger families or with older children.

RaginaPhalange · 19/09/2022 18:38

3-5 times a week, together almost 12 and married less than a year.

notanothertakeaway · 19/09/2022 18:40

Genuine question, why do you care how often strangers have sex?

No one asks eg how often we all eat chicken, go swimming, visit castles etc

If you and your partner / husband are happy with how often you do (not) have sex, surely that's all that matters

Sometimeswinning · 19/09/2022 19:16

Benes · 19/09/2022 18:32

We do find the time but to assume we're prioritising phones and TV was pretty unfair.

I didn't assume anything about you. You chose to take it as a personal dig.

You, however, are making personal comments which are pretty unnecessary.

I can understand how it may be more challenging in larger families or with older children.

I felt your comment was unfair. Not a personal dig. I was explaining further after finding out you had a 7 year old child and I realised we literally weren't on the same page of where our priorities are. If I was in the same position we'd probably have more time.

Where were my personal comments?

YumYummy · 19/09/2022 19:22

Mid 50’s, been together 28 years, around once a month and it’s always really good.

xogossipgirlxo · 19/09/2022 19:24

Once a week and we both wish it was more often 😥

Benes · 19/09/2022 19:28

I felt your comment was unfair. Not a personal dig

In what way was it unfair? How is explaining that we prioritise sex over things like playing on our phones or watching TV unfair? It was in response to a question asking how people have time to have sex twice a day ..... that's partly how we find time. It's not a dig nor is it saying that's what everyone should do. I know my friend would absolutely prioritise TV!

I was explaining further after finding out you had a 7 year old child and I realised we literally weren't on the same page of where our priorities are. If I was in the same position we'd probably have more time.

Exactly, our priorities are different. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It's personal to our relationships. Me having different priorities isn't unfair to you 🙄

Where were my personal comments?

You suggested that I was okay with my child knowing we were having sex
You've also asked whether someone has time to play with their child or work
You suggested people were regimented if they knew how often they had sex.

Quite frankly your responses have been odd to say the least.

YouLookinSusBro · 19/09/2022 19:31

Not as much as I'd like due to having a 4 year old sharing our room, and no chance of that changing for the foreseeable.

Twice a week if we're lucky, more likely to be once though

gogohmm · 19/09/2022 19:34

In 50's here , 2-3 times a week.

Sometimeswinning · 19/09/2022 19:52

Benes · 19/09/2022 19:28

I felt your comment was unfair. Not a personal dig

In what way was it unfair? How is explaining that we prioritise sex over things like playing on our phones or watching TV unfair? It was in response to a question asking how people have time to have sex twice a day ..... that's partly how we find time. It's not a dig nor is it saying that's what everyone should do. I know my friend would absolutely prioritise TV!

I was explaining further after finding out you had a 7 year old child and I realised we literally weren't on the same page of where our priorities are. If I was in the same position we'd probably have more time.

Exactly, our priorities are different. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It's personal to our relationships. Me having different priorities isn't unfair to you 🙄

Where were my personal comments?

You suggested that I was okay with my child knowing we were having sex
You've also asked whether someone has time to play with their child or work
You suggested people were regimented if they knew how often they had sex.

Quite frankly your responses have been odd to say the least.

Not odd. Just different to you. I also don't know your friend so I don't know why you involved them.

I do find it regimented. It's on a par with date night. But if it works, it works. More sex for you! I'm not sure why you take issue to my opinion. You should be super laid back!!

Benes · 19/09/2022 20:01

Not odd. Just different to you. I also don't know your friend so I don't know why you involved them.

I feel your responses have been odd. There has been no acknowledgement of nuance or that people are talking in terms of what is typical not what is set in stone.
I just mentioned my friend as an example of how people are different.

I do find it regimented. It's on a par with date night. But if it works, it works. More sex for you! I'm not sure why you take issue to my opinion. You should be super laid back!!
Again, this is where I think you're missing the nuance. At no point ( unless I've missed it) has any poster said they have sex at a certain time on a certain day!

I took issue when you suggested we tell our child when we're having sex! Comparing me to someone who puts a sign on their door to tell their kids it's private time.Bizarre and insulting!!

MooFroo · 19/09/2022 20:04

Thanks @Benes - appreciate your answer x
we aren’t that touchy feels although hold hands when we’re out and always kiss daily but more light pecks etc

you’re motivating me to try harder as I love the bones off my man and want to show him that! I know he wants more sex and we’re not getting any younger!

enjoy your night 😬

Benes · 19/09/2022 20:09

MooFroo · 19/09/2022 20:04

Thanks @Benes - appreciate your answer x
we aren’t that touchy feels although hold hands when we’re out and always kiss daily but more light pecks etc

you’re motivating me to try harder as I love the bones off my man and want to show him that! I know he wants more sex and we’re not getting any younger!

enjoy your night 😬

You're very welcome ☺️

You too 😉