How often married/long term couples intimate?

[Queenieloveforever]

If you are married or in a long term relationship how often are you intimate with your partner? Honestly!

Married 6 years and together for 9 years. I'd say we have sex every 2 weeks on average. We've both said we'd like it more but we're always too tired. We have young children, so when we do the deed it's usually a quickie in the day when they're occupied with something. At night we're so exhausted, it's the last thing on our minds.

I'm good with people having lots of sex. It just surprises me that people can name how many days a week they do it. It's a bit specific and regimental.

I mean if someone takes offence to my thinking maybe they should take an interest in their own reaction. (Obviously that last line was for @dotdotdotdash's benefit)

Together 17, married 8, two children.
Probably averages out at once or twice a month to be honest. Mismatched libidos (at different times of the month), health issues, stress and exhaustion from general life and work mean it's not always a priority. Still lots of closeness and intimacy in other ways.

Very rarely. Twice in the last 4 years.

I use natural cycles so record when we are intimate. Went back and counted the last 12 months, between 6-12 times a month.

70% of those are PIV the other 30% is getting each other off in other ways.

Together 10+ years.

Never now. He’s on antidepressants and wouldn’t do anything about his lack of performance. And now I’ve hit peri so I’m not interested any more.

Together 20 years, married 18.

Never any more. We've had sex twice since Covid first hit and both those times cos we got drunk. Very drunk.

The intimacy has also gone. There is nothing there.

We get on brilliantly and have a laugh, but it doesn't feel like we're in love with each other any more.

I just don't like sex anymore since having my 2nd child and now I'm peri menopausal I reckon so I've totally lost interest

I love my partner and our kids but sex repulses me - he knows that and he has low sex drive too and so no issues but I also hate being mauled and we're shortly moving house and I will get my own bedroom and I'm actually very excited at the prospect tbfh

Plus we both work, 2 young kids and by bedtime I'm shattered I cannot think of anything worse

Been together 16 years, married 11. No children. Anywhere from 2-5 times a week. We did go through a patch in our relationship where we had less but have definitely got our groove back!

Married 20 years, once or twice a week. It was easier with young children! Teenagers stay up late and we have a small house, not much privacy.

Together 10 years and we have sex least twice a day. More if we can!

It's always been a big part of our relationship and it doesn't seem to be dwindling!

Twice a day!?! I cannot fathom this. How do you find the time? I really couldn't be asked. I'd be too tired

3/4 times a week

Do either of you work or play with your child? Im extremely skeptical of anyone more than 3 times a week with children and jobs!

What a ridiculous comment!!

We both work full time and have a child who we play with and spend time with.

If sex is important you make time for it. How much time do people waste playing on their phones or watching crap TV?

Yea we have jobs and 7 kids 🤷🏻‍♀️. If you want to do it you will.. it’s not a chore

Twice a day!?! I cannot fathom this. How do you find the time? I really couldn't be asked. I'd be too tired

We enjoy it so it never seems like a chore.
We prioritise sex over things like playing on our phones or watching TV.

Together 5 years, married for 3 months, have sex at least twice a week, more if we can!

We enjoy it so it never seems like a chore.
We prioritise sex over things like playing on our phones or watching TV.

Exactly, same here.

If you view it as a chore then I can see why you find it difficult to see how couples find the time. If it's a priority then you find a way!

We find it hard to find times away from children. They both get up super early, DH leaves for work at 10am, back home 11:30pm exhausted, and the cycle continues. Days off are weekends when DC are both home too.

Married nearly 40 years - once a fortnight but a struggle for DH to maintain an erection despite viagra- I wouldn't miss it.

Together 9 years.Around 2 or 3 times a week but he works away mon-fri so we have to cram it in

We’re about the same - but we’d both like to do it more!
felt embarrassed for years in case the kids heard us 😬 now trying to make more of an effort but it’s hard work even though I enjoy it when we do it!

Wow!
genuine question if you don’t mind answering - do you fully wash afterwards each time?

I have to shower afterwards which adds to it all being too much effort sometimes

i bought new lingeries for valentines and still not worn it yet!

Together 24 years, 2 DC aged 18 and 15 we have sex most weeks. Twice if on holiday or otherwise relaxed. Been like this for years, seems to work OK for us.

Wow!
genuine question if you don’t mind answering - do you fully wash afterwards each time?

I have to shower afterwards which adds to it all being too much effort sometimes

i bought new lingeries for valentines and still not worn it yet!

No, we don't generally fully wash afterwards unless it's necessary ( particularly sweaty for example) . We shower/bathe daily obviously and bedding gets washed weekly.
I understand that's considered scummy by MN standards but I think we're pretty hygienic and clean!

Lingerie is something we love. I bought two new sets at the weekend and I've worn them both already!
One set I wore while out with our friends at the weekend and told him that's what I was wearing part way through the night 🙈

Although I've been in my PJs all day today and we've still been very touchy feely with each other.

We are really open about sex and have been since day one. We're not jealous or precious about saying what we like. We also kiss an awful lot which I think makes a difference.