Are you blunt/do you tell it like it is

[Boooooooom]

I have always been quite a sensitive person. I can take some things to heart and I would never not consider people's feelings when I'm saying things to them.
However it seems almost celebrated and desirable to be this very blunt sort of person who has zero filter, has constant 'banter' and basically never uses any tact, just blurts out whatever they think.
My partner told me the other day he 'loves' blunt people. I have a friend who honesty seems to have no filter, she never used to be like that and my other friend was like, "I'm really loving this new Sarah!"
I feel like my personality is seen as some sort of weakness.
I'd never for instance comment on someone's weight negatively, unless they had told me themselves they were trying to lose weight, or if they were in a dangerous situation and there was cause for concern.
The other day I showed my partner a picture of a friend's baby and he just said "That baby's ugly and has a massive head."
I admit I was taken aback as I'd never say something so cruel about a baby.
I'd never openly talk about someone else as being ugly, but I've heard it happen so many times.
I just think there are ways of saying things. It's like my partner went for a promotion and the manager laughed at him and said "You've got no chance, you're far too XYZ". I just thought that was brutal, he could have said it in a more tactful way.
I also wouldn't feel comfortable telling someone their hair looked 'awful' or something to that effect. I might say, they really suit X style usually. But ultimately if they like their hair, who am I to make them feel bad?
Anyway I feel like my personality is weak and 'too nice' and that I should be more blunt and direct in general.

I was like you. Always took little comments to heart etc etc. BUT... since having my baby. I couldn't care less.

I'm not saying pussyfoot around everything.. but there's a very fine line between being blunt and just being plain rude.

Nobody is blunt at all times, but sometimes, in the right company and if it is pitched right, it can be funny. Never would I be blunt like that at work though. That's quite unprofessional imo. You can be direct without being blunt and rude

If someone asks me a question I try to give an honest answer without being rude.

There's a big difference between "telling it like it is" and being an arsehole.

The example about the baby is being an arsehole.

The example about having no chance of a promotion for xyz reason (provided the reason wasn't "because you're too ugly to meet clients" for example) is telling it like it is.

I can be quite forthright but I'd never tell someone they looked fat in an outfit unless they'd asked for my honest opinion 🤷‍♀️

Like I was in a nursery and staff were openly calling babies ugly and weird-looking. They're babies ffs. I bet that would be written off as 'telling it like it is' but it was just cruel.

No, that's just being an arsehole

I just try and be tactful, I'd never be like 'ha! You, promoted?!"
You can say well maybe you can be if you reach xyz targets.

I find most "I tell it like it is" people are actually 1) total dicks and 2) cannot take the slightest critcism in return and would crumple if anyone stood up to them.

I don’t have anyone in my life who is ‘blunt’, friends, colleagues, friends. It sounds awful.

Yes I'm blunt and tell it how it is. But I can be diplomatic and empathetic and tactful if I choose to be.

Calling small children names isn't "telling it like it is" or being blunt. It's weird and unpleasant

I agree OP, there IS a fine line between being blunt and rudeness

I think that peers will celebrate 'bluntness' cos they do not want to be next in the firing line

Nah, I generally avoid 'blunt' people = i can think of a word that Rhymes with blunt that is entirely relevant to people who are rude for the sake of it

This is also true. Anyone who says the words "I tell it like it is"... 🚩🚩🚩🚩

I just feel like there's something wrong with me for being too tactful but I just don't want to hurt people's feelings.

No one tells it like it is. They tell it like they think it is.

I really hate that many people use telling it like it is, is used as an excuse to be rude and cruel. It’s also really lazy , not bothering to construct a criticism in a useful positive way , for example the person going for promotion . Instead of being so rude the candidate could have been advised of areas to be worked on in a positive way . I find bullies are often fond of the telling it like jt is way of communication

Far from it you sound like a lovely person who would be a great friend.

Some people are blunt, unforgiving and deliver it rudely. Some people can say things that might be direct, but are delivered with good humour. Being blunt and rude for the sake of attention etc. is just awful.

I personally would not be rude and say something hurtful (I put myself in the recipient's shoes), but one thing I really stick to, and that is to politely refuse to take part in things when I don't want to. Weddings, parties, meet ups and so on. I don't like crowded noisy places (hearing impaired which can cause awful echoes and difficulty keeping up with multiple convos!) so I don't go and stick to my decision.

There is a line between blunt and cunt

But there is also a line between being diplomatic/kind and pussyfooting around the truth for the sake of avoiding an argument.

If I looked like the back end of a bus, I'd sooner my DH told me rather than just telling me I looked fine when I clearly don't!

You sound like a much nicer person than your chap. What’s the glory in being unkind? You can be honest without sticking the knife in.

There is a some advice to fortune tellers: ‘Tell the true , but not the unpleasant. Tell the pleasant , but not the untrue’. It’s not a bad principle in general.

If i wasn't that keen on someone's haircut, I would just keep that to myself. It's not necessary to go 'wow, that's an awful haircut!"
But yeah, it's definitely important to be honest if it really requires.

I have generally found that people who describe themselves as ‘straight talking’ and ‘tell it like it is’ are often just rude. But there is a happy medium between too timid and too blunt.

I think the idea we celebrate bluntness is just hot air. It’s about as real as #bekind

Most people care what other people think, and any bluntness is carefully timed to be funny or in a place they can get away with it.

The ability to speak plainly and stand up for yourself while being considerate and polite is admired for good reason. Being incapable of expressing an opinion is as tiresome as rudeness.

Your boyfriend being catty about a picture of a baby isn’t being blunt, because you aren’t the baby’s mother.

Absolutely right.