To ask for your views on surrogacy?

[consortiar]

Is it ok a surrogate?

Is it ever ok to use a surrogate?

In what circumstance is it not ok?

In what circumstance is it ok?

Kardashians are an example and other celebs that have lots of money and no time or possibly inclination to be pregnant?

Lesbians presumably can carry their own baby with the use of a sperm donor.

What about gay couple that would like to use their sperm and an egg donor?

If it's not ok. What is it specifically that is wrong?

Couples that cannot have children due to the woman not being able to carry a baby, do they lose their entitlement to have a biological child due to the perceived wrong in using a surrogate?

I think it's only ok when it's truly done between friends / family and the baby then spends time with its mother after birth. It's deeply cruel to take a newborn away from the woman it knows as its mother, regardless of whose egg it is.

Commercial surrogacy is always wrong

@habibihabibi

You still need to get approved as an adoptive parent in the U.K. before adopting from overseas

Also overseas adoption often has far worse outcomes for the children involved as well

Probably best you stop spouting off about things you clearly have very little understanding of

You really can only have a valid opinion on surrogacy if you yourself don’t have children and are infertile. Walk a mile in someone’s shoes and all that.

And let me guess, the only valid opinion is the one you agree with.

No, you don't need to be infertile to have a valid view on renting wombs and ordering babies.

Wonderful reply. I completely agree. Most people against surrogacy have 0 idea what it's like to suffer with infertility.

Exactly this, as I said earlier on this thread, unless you’re in this situation (and not been through infertility and now have a child) you simply have no concept of why someone would look at this route.

Completely different to celebs who do it for ease, not comparable.

I agree
I think a lot of things are morally wrong even though I haven’t been personally affected by them

You know adoption is incredibly complicated and you can’t just decide to adopt a baby and pick one up next week from wherever you fancy?

To adopt from abroad you still have to be approved by a uk adoption agency, the process is long, intrusive and hard work, it’s not as simple as ‘just adopt’ whatsoever.

I reserve my judgement for appalling ‘slebs’ like Kim Kardashian who already has children but took advantage of her wealth to buy more. That is simply disgusting.

Why? If there's no human cost, if it's so acceptable and so ethically sound, why is it "simply disgusting" for a wealthy mother to do it? How does an infertile woman's baby by surrogacy have no ethical cost if a wealthy mother's is so terrible? What's the difference?

But why?

Either there's a human cost and ethical problem, or there isn't. Otherwise, why is it OK to risk a woman's health and life, and trauma to a baby, if it's an infertile woman doing it, but not a wealthy and famous one?

Most people against surrogacy have 0 idea what it's like to suffer with infertility.

Infertility is terribly sad, but it doesn't give anyone the right to another woman's body to have a baby. Plenty of people who have experienced infertility understand that point.

Most people against surrogacy have 0 idea what it's like to suffer with infertility.

Most people pro surrogacy have 0 idea what it's like to be a surrogate.

If the only valid opinion is from infertile people, surrogacy ethics committees should be made up only of infertile people or people who have used surrogates. Is that OK?

I too oppose all surrogacy but I think that we all put our own needs & wants first when it comes to having children. We want to have a baby so we have one, if we were thinking what is best for our potential children we would not have them as we know that they are likely to suffer during their lives.

I have quite alot of understanding having lived in the Ukraine and seen the absolute atrocity that is surrogacy. The shiny clinics that are fronts for explotation of women by organised criminals.
I worked with surrogacy
consequences , the abandoned and unwanted and the children whose mothers died as a result of them being surrogates.

See above.
The organisation I worked for had many successful UK and EU adoptions. Parents who naviagted the hurdles instead of feeding the exploitation by paying a physically, emotionally and materially poor woman. ( Ukraine surrogates often never get paid )

@habibihabibi

Overseas adoption is also seen as exploitative btw

There is definitely a stigma around it amongst British adopters and it's usually seen as a way to get a baby as young as possible

I personally don’t see a problem with it.
I wouldn’t consider the women who carried the child to be the child’s mother in any way. The mother is whoever’s egg was used regardless of who carried it.

Hence why I would never give up any of my eggs.

I wouldn’t consider the women who carried the child to be the child’s mother in any way.

Its the law, so I'm not sure why what 'you would consider' is of any consequence to the debate.

I wouldn’t consider the women who carried the child to be the child’s mother in any way.

And if the child does?

Why would they?

The surrogate is a gestational carrier

Not their 'mother'

You know, I'm not even going to answer that question, because even though it would be laughably easy to do so, it doesn't matter. I'm not even going to address your horribly dehumanising language, although it informs us as to the kind of thought process you use.

I'll simply say: if a child considers the person who carried, gestated and birthed them to be their mother, why does it matter that you don't? Whose opinion actually matters?

I don't think it's right and I've suffered with infertility. I am disgusted by Priyanka Chopa who used a surrogate because carrying a baby just didn't fit into her schedule.

How about this situation... Egg from woman A, fertilised by donor sperm and put into woman B. Who is the mother? What if I said woman A was an anonymous donor? What if I said woman B is called a surrogate? Does that change your initial answer? It's very telling that people will change who they determine who the mother is based on the intention and situation. I'd like to know what you think @Alpineyog

I’m also against surrogacy. It has a significant health cost to the surrogate and potentially her family. The baby is born to a woman who’s smell, sound and heartbeat is all it knows then it’s taken away which could cause harm to the baby.

I réalise it is a very emotive topic and I am fortunate to have had children however this is my opinion based on the above. Reinforced by the pandemic and the numerous cases of babies being born to surrogates and parents then being unable to travel to collect their baby and some even giving up on their baby.

I view mother as the person who will raise them once out

And if that's a gay couple then there is no mother just two fathers

Surrogates are gestational carriers, unless they're using their own egg (unlikely these days) in which case they'd be the child birth mother

@ReneBumsWombats

You won't answer because you can't

If you can find a whole host or even more than a few children born via surrogate that view their gestational carrier as their mother please go ahead and send links