I am a single parent with a 21 yer old dd and 13 year old ds. Dd recently moved back home after finishing university. Since moving back home she is constantly belittling and undermining me with ds.
For example I took his phone and iPad off him last night as he had been rude to a teacher at school but a little while later I found him in his room using hers. When I asked her why she said it’s her iPad and her brother so she can lend it him whenever she wants.
Similarly a couple of weeks ago he asked me for a pair of trainers that were really expensive so I said no as they were too expensive. However a couple of days later she went out and bought them. When I asked why she said that she is not as tight as me.
There are other things as well I have heard her badmouthing me to him and telling him he should ignore me and come to her when she does not think I can hear. It seems like since she moved back from university she is seeking to play me as some awful person to ds and is creating an uncomfortable atmosphere at home. Would I be unreasonable to say she needs to stop or she move out.
AIBU?
To ask dd to cut it out or move out
Jokaline · 16/09/2022 10:56
Am I being unreasonable?
971 votes. Final results.
POLLNoteverybodylives · 16/09/2022 14:43
YABU
Siblings always bitch about their parents behind their backs and she is just sticking up for her brother.
I honestly can’t see how you can be annoyed that she brought him trainers with her own money.
I would be annoyed at the iPad situation but it does sound like you probably are quite controlling which is why she is sticking up for him so much, as she has experienced it herself.
What other things does she do?
As what you’ve said are not good examples.
I’m sure I’ll be in the minority here as many MNers seem to think that as soon as kids hit 16 they should be kicked out to fend for themselves.
Jokaline · 16/09/2022 13:33
I have tried speaking to her previously to tell her that her behaviour is upsetting but she makes it clear she doesn’t want to talk or engage. I even have a problem getting her to have dinner as the 3 of us in the evening although she is quite happy to cook for ds and herself provided I am not there.
Pixiedust1234 · 16/09/2022 17:35
oh this is not good. Shes trying to bully and ostracise you and that is never nice in your own home, your safe space. She is supposedly an adult and should know this is not acceptable.
Its past the time for her to move out. Tell her, not ask.
Jokaline · 16/09/2022 13:33
I have tried speaking to her previously to tell her that her behaviour is upsetting but she makes it clear she doesn’t want to talk or engage. I even have a problem getting her to have dinner as the 3 of us in the evening although she is quite happy to cook for ds and herself provided I am not there.
Sunnyqueen · 16/09/2022 14:10
The ipad thing yeah that was a bit shady. But the trainers things sweet that she did that. And I mean if the only reason you said no was because they were expensive then she is right in a sense shes not as tight as you as she has bought them for him 🤷♀️
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