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AIBU?

To think it's a shame we can't pay our respects

518 replies

KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:15

When we initially heard about the funeral plans DH and I said it might be "nice" to take our DC to London (we're just outside) to walk past the Queen in Westminster Hall. They've been very interested in the whole event and are old enough now that they'll remember it and be able to talk about it, etc. so when they independently asked to go we looked into it.

It quickly became apparent it wasn't going to be feasible due to the huge queues etc, so that was knocked on the head. I feel it's a shame but there's no way I'd have them queuing in the rain.

On the news this morning there are a number of people who's caught flights from all over the world to come and be part of it. One pair - a mother and adult son from New York flew over as soon as they heard the Queen had died and are queuing now.

I know it's unreasonable really, but I felt a pang of something - jealousy, irritation, not sure - at these people with money and time to fly for hours to come and pay their respects to our monarch adding to numbers which effectively deny other groups the opportunity. I know there are allowances made for people with disabilities who are unable to queue for up to 30 hours, but what about children/families for whom it's impossible?

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 14/09/2022 10:20

But you could come? You pretty much state the only barrier is a bit of rain. If others are prepared to queue hours in the rain to see the coffin, and put appropriate clothing on to do so, then fair play to them surely? Since you do have the option to do the same?

Septemberslooming · 14/09/2022 10:21

I think it's about making other tributes meaningful, lighting a candle, signing a condolences book, making a donation to a food bank etc.
I waited for hours at one of the events King Charles attended yesterday and it was really difficult for children re toileting , boredom etc.

Skinnermarink · 14/09/2022 10:22

And I wouldn’t take my children in those queues no but I’d find some other way to mark it or see a bit of London if I wanted to.

nachoavocado · 14/09/2022 10:23

you don't want to queue and are annoyed at people who will queue? Why? I don't get it.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 14/09/2022 10:23

Just go if you want to go.

You've no right to be annoyed at others for wanting to do the same thing, QE was the UK's leader including ex pats.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 14/09/2022 10:24

What about them?

The people with the money to fly over will have to wait in the same wet queue as anyone else. You could do it if you wanted to.

Youdoyoutoday · 14/09/2022 10:24

I get what you mean, I would have liked to go and pay my respects too but I can't cope with large crowds and I have a impatient bladder so would be needing the loo and would constantly be losing my place in the queue.

nachoavocado · 14/09/2022 10:24

No one has any more "right" to see her coffin than anyone else. Not unless you're family/friends I guess.

KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:25

Skinnermarink · 14/09/2022 10:20

But you could come? You pretty much state the only barrier is a bit of rain. If others are prepared to queue hours in the rain to see the coffin, and put appropriate clothing on to do so, then fair play to them surely? Since you do have the option to do the same?

But it's not just a bit of rain. Who in their right mind would queue up to 30 hours (I know this is peak, but when will this be?) with children. They'll be hungry, uncomfortable, etc. We could, of course, but they have school, etc. and it's not feasible or fair on them, i don't think.

Im not upset about it, per se. I just thought it was something we could take them along to as they were both very moved by the news, asked specifically. Maybe im making something out of nothing

OP posts:
Sally872 · 14/09/2022 10:26

You don't want to wait in rain (understandably), but others do. But unreasonable to put a limit on where they can travel from to queue.

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 14/09/2022 10:26

What did you expect? To just walk to up her coffin?

The whole insistitution of the Monarchy is based on immense privilege, wealth and differentiation it's hardly a surprise that that will continue as part of the Queen's funeral.

Skinnermarink · 14/09/2022 10:26

so you have practical reasons for not doing it, but begrudge others for being able to do it?

Make it make sense.

Ihatethenewlook · 14/09/2022 10:26

I really can’t get into the mindset of people wanting to go gawp at a coffin with a corpse in it. What are they doing when they get to it? Taking photos and selfies? I wouldn’t queue either, but then I wouldn’t want to go at all

KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:27

Septemberslooming · 14/09/2022 10:21

I think it's about making other tributes meaningful, lighting a candle, signing a condolences book, making a donation to a food bank etc.
I waited for hours at one of the events King Charles attended yesterday and it was really difficult for children re toileting , boredom etc.

This is a good point, and it's what we'll do.

It's more than my parents etc have stories about experiencing various momentous events first hand (Churchill's funeral, etc), usually with very little effort by the sounds of it. I think it's sad this event isn't more accessible.

OP posts:
KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:28

nachoavocado · 14/09/2022 10:23

you don't want to queue and are annoyed at people who will queue? Why? I don't get it.

It's not that I don't want to queue, I don't want to risk having to queue for 10, 20 hours in what ends up being peak time (because it will have to be an evening or weekend) and risk having to bail out, etc.

It's not about me - it's more about children. Surely you can see the queueing isn't a child friendly set up?

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 14/09/2022 10:29

No one “in their right mind” would queue for 30 seconds.

Levellingdown · 14/09/2022 10:29

So what is your answer? Some kind of dispensation for the 35m families in the country that have kids? For her to lie there for a month or so? A drive by your house?

If you want to queue 30 hours to walk past a coffin go for it - I think you’re all mad - but you don’t want to?

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 14/09/2022 10:29

So you're irritated that lots of other people are doing the thing that you wanted to do?

I get it, but it's totally unreasonable!

mummyh2016 · 14/09/2022 10:29

ClocksGoingBackwards · 14/09/2022 10:24

What about them?

The people with the money to fly over will have to wait in the same wet queue as anyone else. You could do it if you wanted to.

This. It is a very strange thing to be annoyed about.

KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:31

nachoavocado · 14/09/2022 10:24

No one has any more "right" to see her coffin than anyone else. Not unless you're family/friends I guess.

It's not about having more right, it's about everyone having the same opportunity irrespective of their situation (disabilities, IBS, children, etc)

OP posts:
Mercurial123 · 14/09/2022 10:31

Youdoyoutoday · 14/09/2022 10:24

I get what you mean, I would have liked to go and pay my respects too but I can't cope with large crowds and I have a impatient bladder so would be needing the loo and would constantly be losing my place in the queue.

You wouldn't use your place you can leave the queue and return to your original place. The BBC have mentioned it numerous times.

MiddleParking · 14/09/2022 10:32

It's not about me - it's more about children. Surely you can see the queueing isn't a child friendly set up?

It’s hardly a child friendly activity full stop, is it. Would you like them to set up fast passes like Alton Towers?

KeepYaHeadUp · 14/09/2022 10:33

Levellingdown · 14/09/2022 10:29

So what is your answer? Some kind of dispensation for the 35m families in the country that have kids? For her to lie there for a month or so? A drive by your house?

If you want to queue 30 hours to walk past a coffin go for it - I think you’re all mad - but you don’t want to?

Ticketing maybe, randomly allocated to take account of capacity - so not everyone will be able to go but at least people have a similar chance of being able to attend

OP posts:
lizziesiddal79 · 14/09/2022 10:33

MiddleParking · 14/09/2022 10:29

No one “in their right mind” would queue for 30 seconds.

⬆️ This.

LadyKenya · 14/09/2022 10:34

You either go or you don't. Yabu to expect not having to wait such a long time. People have as much right as you to attend, no matter where in the World they live.

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