To need anti depressants to enjoy life?

[Miseryhatescompany]

I don’t feel like I’m a “proper” depressed person. I have always been very anxious, obsessive and fixate on things, but have rarely had very low moods where I struggle to function, get out of bed etc. My main symptoms are irritability, rage and a huge feeling of blah.

I started taking Sertraline 3 years ago when I was particularly bad, had a young baby, 3 year old DC and really needed to snap out of it. It was amazing and I felt better after only a few days. I wanted to stop taking it after only a few months, but Covid hit so I delayed it due to the unknown. I tapered very slowly over the course of a year and came off Sertraline altogether at the beginning of this year.

In the last few months I’m back to snappy, irritable, losing it with my kids. I can’t pretend I didn’t have this whilst I was on the medication, but it wasn’t every day, and I had overwhelming moments of happiness and gratitude. I haven’t had that since the spring.

On paper my life is fine. Two DC, 6 and 3. Both challenging but nothing compared with what some people deal with. Stable (if dull) jobs for DH and me, decent pay, both full time but fairly flexible hours, bit of childcare help from family. Not flush but no money worries and could afford a nice holiday this summer. Lucky to both be in good health. Nice house in a nice area.

I have asked the doctor to rewrite my prescription. I feel like a fraud because I rarely cry, I’ve never once had a day off sick due to mood, I just get on with my day. I don’t lose my temper with colleagues. I function, I just don’t enjoy it. And am so irritable. My relationships with everybody I live with are suffering but I just don’t feel able to be happy with what others must be content with?

I am glad you are feeling less irritable. Just for information sertraline takes longer than a couple of days to start working so this is probably a placebo effect at this stage.

Just for information sertraline takes longer than a couple of days to start working

OP - this is true.

It happened when I first started taking it in 2019 too! Could well be placebo effect but it was so noticeable when my mood improved back then (as I was in a much, much worse place and felt like running away).

I was crying every day before ADs and now seem unable to cry! I'm only on the lowest therapeutic dose too. There's no way it's a placebo. I am so content and calm, I'm so different at work as well, don't get wound up by anything, my boss was always the calm one now it's me😁

Dont need them to enjoy life, but i feel that i have a better life when on them
.
More rarional, more calm, measured, less scatty.
Less sensitive. Its seems to help my adhd somehow.
Tho they do affect any sex life as it reduces intrest./ response.
I am on prozac .anyone else feel.good on it? I note most people appear to be on.sertraline( i tried that but felt nausea plus plus )

But when you're so down you can't do anything except lie on the floor, the medication helps you get up so you can then exercise and eat well etc
I exercise a lot, I do spin, yoga, meditation, self care, take time for myself, everything I can. Still need the medication. I've been on it since I was 16

I'm.on escitaloprám. I don't like being on them and I fear I'll never come off them but my god they work.

PeloFondo

im also exercising and having therapy and gardening and eating the ducking rainbow
I’m having sex , I’m staying connected with loved ones

and yes they help
but you’ll take my SSRI out of my cold dead hands

A Dr once said to me that when you get to the end of your life, no one is going to give you an award for getting through it without medication. Wise words.

I'm also on anti depressants permanently.

Are there risks with being on them long term ?

@PeloFondo

I think that’s the point though for me. If I didn’t do the things I have to do then I would be unable to get out of bed and then I would absolutely need them.

@DaphneSprucesPippasClack

i don’t think anyone who chooses a medication free life is after a medal. If people want them then they can carry on but they’re not the right choice for everyone.

@Dalaidramailama i didn't say they were....

Just thought I would update on this thread, as I know there were lots of you feeling the same.

I started taking 25mg of Sertraline around 3-4 weeks ago, and honestly it has made such a difference, I felt better straight away (this could be placebo effect, I know, but the same happened when I started taking it back in 2019). I haven't once completely lost it with my DC and my DH and I's relationship is also much better. I feel like I enjoy life again.

Did you have any side effects Op? I'm worried they'll effect my ability to think sharply at work or that I'll feel numb.

Really pleased for you OP

@Dandyrose I had a bit of diarrhoea for the first 2-3 days, which I remember having when I've started them in the past. I did then have a sickness bug though so it could've been linked to that.

I haven't had any "head" side effects at all, I feel exactly the same, but not irritable/miserable with my life.

People I know who take them long term seem to be forever tweaking doses, searching for something better, increasing doses etc as they become tolerant. Everyone starts on small doses. I'd be interested to know how many are still on 25mg of sertraline or whatever after 5 years constant use

@Liila I imagine that's definitely true for some. I started on 50mg back in 2019, and reduced this a year later (would've been earlier but the GP advised against it when lockdown hit). I reduced this again gradually until I came off altogether. As my OP says I noticed this had an effect but I am hopeful I will stay on 25mg.

I could have written your post. I've been on sertraline for 3 yrs tried to live without twice because I thought I shouldn't need them I've nothing to be unhappy about. Now I've accepted that it's a fault in my wiring so to speak I've stopped streesing about them and just go with it

Thank you for the update.

I've booked to see the GP next week for the same reason.

I thought I'd post an update re my experience.

After reading/posting on this I decided to go to the GP and ask for Prozac (as I had it before and know it works well for me). It probably took about six weeks to settle down on it and during that time I had some really good days and some days where I didn't know if I wanted to cry or if I was about to have a panic attack.

From about 6 weeks though it was like a fog lifting. I feel so much less anxious and stressed, I'm less quick to anger and my mind feels less fuzzy. As a result I'm just coping with life a lot better, I'm getting on with the family better and feeling a bit more sociable really.

It's also allowed me to get on top of my diet a bit more. I've always eaten plenty of fruit and veg etc but I also have a total sweet tooth and would eat huge amounts of chocolate as a bit of a crutch when not feeling good. Now I'm feeling better I can ignore the sweet tooth a bit more and I'm really focussing on eating more protein and fibre. I feel so much healthier and the little bit of weight I was carrying around my tummy is shifting. I remember the same thing happening last time I took prozac, so anti-depressants don't always cause weight gain!

Look on depression as a physical issue (which it is). Would you deny yourself medication for a physical issue? Probably not. If you need medication to feel better, then there is no reason not to take it. Also, think of the impact your unhappiness has on the people around you. Do you want your kids to have an angry, shouty mum or a mum who's fine?

Thanks for the updates and glad to hear other posters are doing well.

I’m still on 25mg daily of Sertraline which combined with regular running definitely does wonders for my MH. Stresses in my personal and work life have increased since my original post so I’m glad I sought help when I did.

Thank you for this thread OP. I was on sertraline for about 18 months starting 2018 following a relationship breakdown that really shouldn't have affected me so deeply as it did. But like you the effects were instant... probably placebo effect in the early days but even so, and it made a huge difference.it gave me the impetus to make positive changes in terms of exercise, etc, and I can feel myself now slipping into unhelpful thought patterns- ruminating, etc. I may need to revisit- I do feel I was a better, happier person with 50mg sertralne.

This is so interesting as I have been thinking of contacting my GP for a while but didn't feel depressed enough that I had planned my demise. (Although wouldn't care if this was my last day on earth tbh) I am now thinking I should probably give them a call. I just want to enjoy my life, I don't recognise the person I've become but just thought I was destined to be miserable forever. I wouldnt say I am sad but very unhappy. Thank you for those who felt able to share their experiences here. I might just call tomorrow.