To need anti depressants to enjoy life?

[Miseryhatescompany]

I don’t feel like I’m a “proper” depressed person. I have always been very anxious, obsessive and fixate on things, but have rarely had very low moods where I struggle to function, get out of bed etc. My main symptoms are irritability, rage and a huge feeling of blah.

I started taking Sertraline 3 years ago when I was particularly bad, had a young baby, 3 year old DC and really needed to snap out of it. It was amazing and I felt better after only a few days. I wanted to stop taking it after only a few months, but Covid hit so I delayed it due to the unknown. I tapered very slowly over the course of a year and came off Sertraline altogether at the beginning of this year.

In the last few months I’m back to snappy, irritable, losing it with my kids. I can’t pretend I didn’t have this whilst I was on the medication, but it wasn’t every day, and I had overwhelming moments of happiness and gratitude. I haven’t had that since the spring.

On paper my life is fine. Two DC, 6 and 3. Both challenging but nothing compared with what some people deal with. Stable (if dull) jobs for DH and me, decent pay, both full time but fairly flexible hours, bit of childcare help from family. Not flush but no money worries and could afford a nice holiday this summer. Lucky to both be in good health. Nice house in a nice area.

I have asked the doctor to rewrite my prescription. I feel like a fraud because I rarely cry, I’ve never once had a day off sick due to mood, I just get on with my day. I don’t lose my temper with colleagues. I function, I just don’t enjoy it. And am so irritable. My relationships with everybody I live with are suffering but I just don’t feel able to be happy with what others must be content with?

I’m so interested in this thread. I was prescribed sertraline a few months ago because I got in a panic about certain events (I’ve always had OCD tendencies and have been diagnosed with OCD in the past, though there are periods where it’s manageable). Anyway, I didn’t take them because I felt that my low mood was down to specific events so it seemed pointless to take a pill as that wouldn’t make them go away. However, lately my mood has changed. I’m still worried about said events but now I have this weird lowness. It’s like I can see joy in things (kids etc) and I long for it but I can’t let myself have it. In case it is taken away. I don’t feel emotionally resilient, I want to cry a lot. I’m grumpy. I feel like I have constant brain fog. I have no motivation to take pride in my work. I’ve been nervous to try tablets because I worry about what would happen if there was a supply issue and I was dependent on something. And I’ve been nervous to take them because I’m aware that they won’t change actual real-life issues/events. But reading this thread makes me feel like maybe I should reconsider. I’ve heard they can make you worse before you get better and that puts me off too. Also, what if I am just a weepy miserable git and that’s how it is?!

I’ve really enjoyed this thread so thank you OP.

I related to your post instantly. I have 2 under 2 (youngest is 4 months) and I’ve been wondering if I have PND. I had it first time round with my daughter however I had a horrific birth and really struggled to bond with her because I was in and out of hospital. I went the CBT route and that helped a lot.

This time round, I’m overly anxious to the point where I have a massive lump in my throat everyday. I can barely leave the house. I’m snappy and have no patience with the kids and I always have low moods. I’ll be calling the GP this week and will ask to go on antidepressants. He’s been advising it for a while and I’ve been avoiding it but I’m happy to read it helps a lot of people day to day

Thank you for starting this thread, OP. I feel very similar to you- incredibly irritable, low and anxious almost all the time, but not can’t-get-out-of-bed depressed. This constant gnawing dread has become much worse since having children. During their early years, I told myself I was just tired. But as they are getting older, it’s getting worse. Now the worries that they are not sleeping or eating enough are replaced with bigger worries, like how well they are doing at school and whether they have the right friends, as well as worries about my elderly parents, who also suffer with their mental health. I feel like I am living at the edge of my capabilities and sanity all the time. I live with a tightness in my chest.
I have tried to exercise and eat well, I have tried CBT. I’m starting to think sertraline may help me get a bit more balanced. The only worry I have is that I work in quite a creative industry and I’ve always worried that antidepressants will numb that creativity. Alternatively, maybe antidepressants could help me focus my energy and concentration into being creative, rather than be distracted by constant worries. Does anyone have any experience in taking sertraline and how that affected your creativity?

@MsMiaWallace I was really worried about this when I started them in 2019. I was already over half a stone heavier than my normal weight as I had a young baby.

Fast forward three years and around 5 months completely off the medication, and a lot longer (over a year) when I was only on a low dose (25mg every other day)...and I'm pretty much the same weight. I didn't gain anything taking Sertraline, nor did I lose any when I stopped. Still haven't managed to shift that extra half a stone thanks to lockdown weight added to my baby weight, and thanks to my terrible snacking, but it's stayed really consistent.

I'm so glad this thread has been helpful to others.

@JacquelineHyde27 no experience of the creative industry sorry as I'm definitely not in that! Exactly as you say though, the worries/stress of small DC don't really change as they get older. My eldest is 6 so still young, but already the challenges are just different, certainly no easier and maybe even more difficult than babies and small toddlers.

I have just been prescribed this today. I'm hesitant about taking it. I lost my mum 3 months ago. She was my only support and my best friend. The things that have happened since have been awful and I have learned how cruel and uncaring people are.

Of course there is nothing wrong with needing an antidepressant! It is no different than a person with diabetes needing insulin. There is something your body needs but isn't producing.

Taking a medication for a health issue isn't a commentary on your morals, capabilities, personality or anything else.

I am surprised by how many people here are talking about chemical imbalance as if that is a proven fact. Anti depressants are not comparable to insulin and depression is not like a broken leg. These kind of false equivalences are damaging.

Sertraline works by increasing your Serotonin levels. How do you think anti-depressants of that type work so effectively if chemicals don't come into it? Their efficacy is well evidenced.

Depression is absolutely equivalent to other health disorders in that it is nothing to be ashamed about, and in that taking medication to help with it is a normal, helpful thing to do that people shouldn't beat themselves up for.

Depression is a physical illness - your limbic system isn’t working properly. Like many other physical illnesses, medication can help to heal.

www.mysurgerywebsite.co.uk/website/H81672/files/Depressive_Illness_Curse_of_the_strong.pdf

Antidepressants are helpful for some people, I did not say otherwise and did not mention shame. The idea that depression is caused by a lack of serotonin (chemical imbalance theory) has been contested for quite some time now. A comprehensive review of studies was published this year and did not find evidence to support the theory. My point was that it is a theory.

Low dose citalopram changed my life. Learning to accept it as long term medication instead of enduring constant cycles of weaning off it and then crashing again was a big step forward for my mental wellbeing. YANBU.

DW is on Setraline. It works for her and we are both happier for it. Good to check-in with a GP periodically but you should not feel remotely guilty

I certainly do need SSRI's. I have complex trauma and without I am a basket case and with I feel like a normal human being. What's not to like.

I've tried various anti depressants over the years but they all had one thing in common. None of them actually made me feel the slightest bit different. I've always felt the same with them as I did without them so I just stopped bothering to take them.

This is what confuses me: I understand why they are prescribed for depression but what about anxiety? That's different (chemically etc) to depression so how to the SSRIs help? I've been prescribed them for anxiety but I don't understand how they treat that so dont feel too sure about starting

I’m a student MH nurse. The thing about antidepressants is that we don’t fully understand how they work. There are several different competing theories, some more compelling than others, but none of them are entirely unproblematic. The other thing about antidepressants is that the evidence for their general efficacy is a bit patchy and they definitely don’t work for everyone. If they do work for you though then that’s great 😁 The exact mechanism of how they work doesn’t matter. Antidepressants are a tool. Therapy, good sleep, exercise etc are all just other tools. Finding some combination of tools to keep you happy and functioning is what matters, not what those tools are exactly. As long as they’re reasonably legal and safe we’re all good 👍

My experience was the same but I never took them for long enough really, or at a high enough dose.

I am trying again with a high dose this time as I can’t carry on like this!

I've been on antidepressants for 28 years starting with PND Now have a bipolar diagnosis at 57
They have genuinely saved my life and are the key to my enjoying and function in life
I believe depression is a chemical imbalance which medication corrects and I know I'll be on them for life. My DM was insulin dependent Diabetic and I view it in the same way
There is no shame in taking medication which gives you back " yourself "

'I've been on citalopram since 2005. Worked fine for me. Simply balances the chemicals in my brain.'

Lots of things can alter the chemicals in our brains. Positive thinking and yoga can release dopamine and serotonin, exercise we know releases endorphins.

Antidepressants should be used for the short term treatment of depression or excess anxiety, they shouldn't become a crutch get through life.

Have you tried lifestyle changes like exercise, cbt, anger management etc?

So stay on them
im never coming off them
and don’t overthink it too much
as a PP said your wired a certain way

take them and move forward

@Milaa
but why?! Antidepressants have relatively low side effects, aren’t addictive, don’t cause antisocial behaviour and are cheap. As I said above, they’re a tool-just like yoga and positive thinking. What makes using ADs a “crutch”? Yoga and positive thinking are not morally superior, you know.

Positive thinking is not an adequate treatment for depression!

I'm interested what experience or research you have to support the idea that anti-depressants should only be used for short term crisis management? This certainly isn't current clinical advice.

Crutch is a horrible, judgemental word. Would you describe the long term treatment of a physical health difficulty in the same way?

'Positive thinking is not an adequate treatment for depression'

I didn't say it was. A pp suggested drugs are always required to alter chemicals in the brain, I said other things do that like exercise.

Anti depressants are of course indicated in those with depression or anxiety but it should be treated as a short term option not a life time treatment in most people. Some of course with significant mental health issues will need lifetime meds but many do not.

And these attitudes are why people like me stop taking them and then feel a bit crap for years rather than feeling great.

I do exercise, find time to relax, do breathing exercises but I still don't feel good without ADs.

You need to watch this OP - from one of my favourite shows and a fabulous song!