To think my DH approach to laundry is really weird

[MyKidsDontGoToBed]

Two DC (1 and 3) and me and DH. Lots of laundry.

My DH bought us separate washing baskets for the bedroom to keep our stuff separate as it's "easier".

He does his own washing every Sunday night. Doesn't do anything else (lots of towels, sheets, baby clothes covered in crap). I have asked him to do more and he agreed and then got obsessed over it....creating weird little systems but he only kept it up for a week. He is now back to only doing his own. He does other things round the house a bit.

Anyway I've accepted it. But we have a small utility room and he was in there tonight picking off his clothes while ignoring mine. Like literally going around my dry clothes to get to his.

I said "it's all going to the same bedroom can't you just take it all"

And now he's accused me "of banging on about the laundry again" and he doesn't know "where any of your shit goes anyway"

He now wants to buy two small chest of drawers and get rid of our big one to keep it all separate. Despite him also going on about cost of living stuff everyday

AIBU to not be able to let it all go? We all have our weird stuff. But I find it so annoying. He does cook dinner and help with kid stuff but it's almost less about the division of labour and more like I find it so baffling I can't not say anything.

It sounds like it could be OCD or anxiety led? Have you posted about him before and the shutting of doors and windows?

although this thread is fascinating as I had no idea that families did separate washing. I’d run out of clothes before I could do a full load of my stuff. And the kids uniform.

It is not weird for an adult to do their own laundry. DH does his. I do mine. Whoever strips our bed does the wash. The DC have done their own since secondary school, including bedding and towels. Everyone manages to accumulate full loads, strangely enough . Tea towels etc get left by the machine to go in with a load.

As a previous poster suggested, it's much more time efficient as no sorting is needed. Also dealing with laundry is a life skill and not rocket science.

My husband and I each have our own laundry baskets and only do our own laundry including our bedding and towels. Other random stuff in the house will get washed by either of us.

My children only have enough school uniform do 3 days. They wouldn’t individually accumulate enough in 3 days to do a full load.

I don’t own enough t-shirts in the same light/dark combination, to mean that I would run out before I had a full load.

I know it's extremely tedious op but he sounds like he needs a very rigid system with detailed instructions and you need to manage it (sigh) . You shouldn't have to but it might be better than current situation. And if he is already doing all food shopping and cooking he isn't doing that badly tbh!

So specify which laundry he does in addition to his own: say bedsheets and towels once a week and give him a day and a time. Tell him where to put them away. And buy Ikea drawer dividers for your chest of drawers.

Ours all goes in mixed up most of the time. Some people are just weird!

Your dh is one of those man that when you're having sex and HE is finished.. thats the end of the sex

He sounds delightful 🤣

Why would put a hilarious laughing emoji there? I find your comment quite tragic in this day and age…

U what now it's a joke lighten up, but yes I do all the washing in my household. My husband works long hours and I'm on maternity leave. But saying that I've always done it. Wish I had help with it 😢

We seperate by person, the two DSC share a basket though. DH does theirs and his. It works for us, he forgets to do washing until the last minute so I'd just end up doing it all if it was shared

That does sound fairly extreme tbh

That is weird.
if one of us puts a wash on, we put in everyone’s 🤷‍♀️

Your husband doesn't? Is he unable to?

My partners gets done separately about once a week as his socks smell and I don't want the taint of my childrens clothes, either he or I do it, but I do all the rest as he doesn't care about laundry so does it badly.
He does, however do lots of outside work so it evens out!

Well if he doing roughly his fair share theb what's the issue, why can't people still have their own individuality and do some things the way they want to do them without being forced to change

Seems rather odd. My dh does all the washing and drying of laundry, it is difficult for me to go downstairs to the utility room. I usually put away most of it away. If anything needs ironing (rarely) I do it. Works out for us!

We do ours separately because I hate the way my husband does laundry and he won’t change - uses too much powder and conditioner and won’t hang anything out. The conditioner thing gets on my nerves especially as he claims to be a vegan and it’s basically animal fat he is pouring in liberal amounts over his clothes!

Is it?!!!!

@nachoavocado yep it’s completely disgusting (and I’m not vegan!). There are a few vegan ones but unless you seek them out it’s unlikely you are using one. White vinegar is the way to go in my opinion! ( that and use less bloody powder!)

OR

He's forming patterns. And is ASD. Because my ex did this, which I recognised as ASD and then he was diagnosed.

(Sorry if this offends anyone, i'm Autistic and this behaviour feels familiar!)

I love how even a bloke finding a way to get out of doing all of the sheets/towels/kids laundry will eventually turn into ‘he could be neurodiverse’ or claims of mental illness. Nope. He just thinks the drudge is OP’s job and he’s too important for that. The complicated system is a way of making you feel exasperated and ‘oh, I’ll do it thennnn!’

Me and DH stick on washing as we see the basket is full. Darks, lights, colours and baby’s things separately. We hang it up together and put it away together so it gets done more quickly.

You have to sort out your own clothes into pants, socks, T-shirts etc before you put it away so for me it's no more effort to make a few more piles and then the others put their own away. I only have one child though, I can see it might be easier if you have more than one wearing similar clothes to keep those separate.

All our washing gets done together.

When it's dry I just put everyone's in their own room for them to put away.

We do ours separately. I got fed up with my clothes being spoiled or having to get it dry because he's put it on. Or having to do a load because He's low on underwear.
This way everyone is responsible for the whole process. It's not left hanging around because someone's too busy to put theirs away.

We do a full load each a week. I do an extra small load of whites. He does an extra load of bedsheets/towels.

It's efficient. It started when my elder two were about 11 and 15, and saved the massive basket of black and grey socks that were impossible to sort (3boys).

Also, stops all the 'where's my pe kit' questions.

He sounds so neurotic. I could not and would not bother coping with that.

Tell him to go live in his own weird little bedsit where he can practice his neuroses to his heart’s content.