To think my DH approach to laundry is really weird

[MyKidsDontGoToBed]

Two DC (1 and 3) and me and DH. Lots of laundry.

My DH bought us separate washing baskets for the bedroom to keep our stuff separate as it's "easier".

He does his own washing every Sunday night. Doesn't do anything else (lots of towels, sheets, baby clothes covered in crap). I have asked him to do more and he agreed and then got obsessed over it....creating weird little systems but he only kept it up for a week. He is now back to only doing his own. He does other things round the house a bit.

Anyway I've accepted it. But we have a small utility room and he was in there tonight picking off his clothes while ignoring mine. Like literally going around my dry clothes to get to his.

I said "it's all going to the same bedroom can't you just take it all"

And now he's accused me "of banging on about the laundry again" and he doesn't know "where any of your shit goes anyway"

He now wants to buy two small chest of drawers and get rid of our big one to keep it all separate. Despite him also going on about cost of living stuff everyday

AIBU to not be able to let it all go? We all have our weird stuff. But I find it so annoying. He does cook dinner and help with kid stuff but it's almost less about the division of labour and more like I find it so baffling I can't not say anything.

Put all the sheets towels and kids stuff in his washing basket.

How can you put up with this dickery?

YANBU

my DH used to only put his washing away. It took a few goes of me saying that it was like we were flatmates not a family and he finally got the hint. He now does all of the washing, including the kids! And puts it away.

maybe he isn’t confident with washing hence all the systems.

Well the first thing thing this thread has taught me is people are far more bothered about separates.

My DH has one load of washing a week @MerryMarigold because he shoves all his stuff in one wash..to be fair almost everything he owns is dark grey.

It's less about him not doing 50% of the laundry as we all have our jobs I guess...he does all the cooking, food shopping, DIY (well a couple of shelves a year ha ha)

It's more I can't stop thinking how odd he is.

Last week I left one pair of knickers on the washing line by mistake. He put his washing out. When he went to collect it he left my solitary knickers hanging there at the end. I asked if he'd noticed them and he said he said yes but they were mine.

I mean this is serial killer behaviour no? 😂

We keep everyone’s laundry separate. It’s much more efficient. I grew up in a household that combined everyone’s laundry and got plenty of experience of just how much time and effort is wasted with that system. If someone needs to add an item, exceptions can be made. DH and I will also help one another out by doing the other person’s laundry, but we still don’t combine them even then. Once you mix it together you have to waste time separating it.

He sounds fun.

I couldn't find it in myself to care too much about this given your last update tbh.

He does sound like a bit of a prick.

We do have separate laundry baskets but that’s because they all get washed differently and I find that easiest as there’s no sorting required. So DD’s go on a long 40 wash as she gets genuinely filthy at nursery. My stuff goes on a short 30 and never gets tumbled, but I have horse riding stuff that needs a hotter longer wash. Then DH’s goes on a different setting to mine and he doesn’t mind his stuff being tumbled.

I do all the laundry apart from DH’s clothes, but he does almost everything else at home (cooking, shopping, DIY, cars, gardening and most cleaning) apart from finances, admin and bathroom as he’s far more domesticated than me and I’m the main earner. I like laundry and bathroom cleaning though so I have a food deal and there’s balance.

It's so much easier to just keep it all together and put a wash on every day. It sounds like he has got ocd or something

DH does all our laundry.

we have a kallax unit with 4 rigid plastic boxes. Lights, darks, whites and towels/sportswear (stuff that doesn’t need softener basically). Sheets get bunged in when the beds are changed so don’t need a box.

Once washed, dried and ironed if applicable each persons clothes are sorted into a basket for putting away.

Totally agree.

Especially when you have kids a similar age - life is too short to spend separating out their pants and socks from each other's

To answer the inevitable follow up: no, we don't put on half loads, we just wait for a full one which if you don't separate colours isn't hard

DH is somewhere on the spectrum if left to do the washing he would do separate loads for

My whites
His whites
DS whites

My colours
His colours
DS colours

My darks
His darks
DS darks

We compromise I wash it, he irons.....but he won't put it away as he gets stressed I have different colours and types in the same draw.

I just let him get on with it

Can’t you just give him a tour of your clothes storage?! Here is my underwear drawer… here is my jumpers drawer… etc etc then he can’t say he doesn’t know where to put your things away! I do all the laundry, my DH puts it all away. Splitting it by person is really inefficient.

@Grumpybutfunny yeah...he says he's gets stressed with putting things away..or so he says..he can't tell the difference between the older DS and the younger DS clothes and apparently mine is all over the place.

But I mean...just give it a go. He went mad tonight because he asked about the kids pyjamas and I just snapped "work it out" and he got super mad.

Leaving one pair of knickers on a washing line on purpose??

His other weird habit is closing all the windows and doors constantly to "trap the heat in for when winter comes"

Very odd, maybe you can point out that when living in a family environment this “each to their own” doesn’t work? Do you wash only your plates or only put away groceries that you will eat, or only cook half a meal as he can see to himself? If not maybe start so he can see how pathetic it is!

@MyKidsDontGoToBed he sounds very much like my DH but he would have brought the knickers in, gone to my draw then had to sort it out (I'm messy). I often say he's like a real life sheldon cooper.

My DH will sit and watch the washing machine form bubbles 🤔

He will also rearrange books so that the whole series is together in strict order of reading. If you put the wrong pasta in the labelled jar he has to fix it. We are both scientists he has to use the pipette tips left to right not at random (most people use them randomly).

He's been seen by the GP and counsellor a few times to help with it, it's likely he's neuro atypical with feature of OCD. The fact he is very social and out going hinders his diagnosis.

Do you cook the family meals?

If so, stop cooking for him.

Twat. <dh not you>

He's not being weird, he's being lazy

Trap the heat in for winter sorry but this did make me snort - wtaf!

He's either turning into a nut job or being lazy and passing it off as being eccentric

Mine does all the washing, putting on line or heated airer, taking it all off and folds it and puts it on the beds. He has his own peg apron as well.

You wash your whites with other colours. This is most upsetting thing on the entire thread. There is nothing worse then grey or pink whites.

@TooHotToTangoToo nut job I fear.

He's also got an obsession with toilet paper always talking about the most efficient toilet paper. It makes me want to run for the hills.

Wash the knickers with the boxers!
Open the bloody windows!
Wipe your arse with whatever you want!

He's trying to get us to eat the same dinner every day..or he buys a box of beers and every Friday just has 2. I'm not allowed to have one as its ruins the system

I feel like I'm living with a loony flatmate.

There are mentions of people doing the ironing on this thread. IRONING. Can't remember the last time I got an iron out.

@MyKidsDontGoToBed I think I WOULD be running for the hills!

It's a bit weird. We do ours together separated by lights, darks, colours, delicates, bedding/towels. Whoever is first to it will take whatever the majority is. We've one laundry basket that's divided for lights and darks. Would be super weird to only wash my own clothes or his own clothes. Then we iron and pile into two piles, he's responsible for taking his upstairs and putting away and I do the same with mine because he does do weird things like put my pj shorts in with pants because he thinks they look like boxers lol. I'd maybe suggest that as a better system? Both of us make an effort to lift equal amounts of each others stuff like if I'm doing a dark wash I'll make sure he'd have a few work tops and trousers in and he'd make sure he puts in my leggings/ vest tops and other things I wear regularly. It's just considerate?