To think if you can’t reverse, then take a different route, or take lessons?

[SavoirFlair]

As part of my hobby I have to drive a trailer and a large vehicle. I live in the suburbs/ countryside, have done for 10 years or so. My road is a typical single track lane but which carries a fair bit of traffic towards the main road if your nav or route takes you here.

in the last few years I have become seriously frustrated seeing the number of drivers, weirdly mainly female like me, who just totally refuse to reverse back into the passing space behind them. Like, a passing space that is a few car lengths behind them!

I have a trailer attached, I have no usable rear mirror, and my passing space is 1 or 2 mins reversing length. Yet they just sit there, staring ahead, refusing to help.

Most times I just reverse - brag alert, I love driving and I think I’m good enough at reversing a trailer that I can do it and get to the space. But this is not the point - convention, driving rules, whatever, all state that I shouldn’t have to reverse that length , with cars forced to back up behind me.

the latest standoff happened Saturday morning - this time though I had four cars behind me, this driver (same age as me I reckon, late 40s) had none , passing space as usual is a few car lengths behind.

She stares, usual gesturing, only this time I get out and ask her “can I help guide you?”

Mouthful of abuse! “You could have seen I was coming, why can’t you move over”

Move over WHERE? We are hemmed in by a ditch and then a hedge!

Then imploring me to back up!

In the end I offered to reverse her car for her which gave her the hump, so she started reversing.

Oh my god. The weaving and dancing down what is a few metres of road…

so AIBU, why can’t folk reverse their vehicles and/or refuse to in simple situations?

this isn’t just a rural thing either - when I’m in London for work, the folk who won’t reverse a couple of feet into the space in the parked cars on either side, but expect me to reverse a whole street length back to the entrance…

Why can’t people REVERSE?!

The etiquette is that the person closest to the passing space reverses. Unless you're on a hill, where the person coming uphill has priority.

Stand your ground.

I agree, if you’re not confident to reverse your vehicle if it’s needed you shouldn’t be driving it, if you can’t drive in particular conditions (eg narrow country lanes where this is necessary) then you shouldn’t drive there full stop, it’s dangerous and unfair to other road users not to be able to drive your own vehicle.

This drives me mad on country lanes, especially when I'm towing - I had one man expect me to reverse up a hill on a bend, while towing a trailer, when he was half a car's length from a passing space. He couldn't even reverse that short distance properly (I refused to move till he did). I've seen so many people - and it is, unfortunately, mostly women but a fair few men too - who just can not reverse at all. If I'm not towing I just give in and reverse these days, even if I know the other driver is way closer to a space.

Amen to that. Living in Devon amongst single track lanes, the number of morons who can't/won't reverse is infuriating (especially in holiday season!) Yesterday some moron in a Range Rover said he couldn't move over into a passing place because the hedge would scratch his car.

I hate reversing down lanes. But I can do it, and do it well. It just gives me the fear on narrow lanes. I’ve had someone shoot pass me from behind while reversing into a passing place before now so I think that’s tainted my opinion somewhat.

however reverse parallel parking and nipping into spaces I am very happy/confident to do.

Of course they should reverse.

But if you drive up to their bonnet so they can’t go forwards to straighten up if they misjudge it, toot your horn or get loudly and visibly impatient if they’re slow and need to have a few goes at it, then that does tend to make people nervous and put them off.

I’m sure OP doesn’t do this, but I’ve seen it happen and I wonder if this is why some people won’t even try.

I’m having a reversing camera fitted to my 7.5t lorry - one of the main reasons being so I can safely reverse when encountering a numpty who cannot back their car up. It’s worrying these people are allowed out on the roads in a car on their own.

we get this a lot in Cornwall, and it is always females who won't budge. Some men are hopeless at it, but I've never come across a man yet who refused to reverse - probably saving face.

What's more shameful is that many of them think it's funny that they have no idea how to control their own vehicle.

I hate it when my sat nav takes me down narrow lanes like this unexpectedly.

If you don't do it often, it's really hard to keep up practice. I find it extremely difficult. Of course I would when needed. But it's stressful and I hate it, and I keep hoping never to meet anyone on those roads.

Lessons wouldn't really help, as it's just a processing thing that is hard. Lots of practice would, but getting that practice comes from driving lots and then you do end up meeting people who will be frustrated if you're not good at it. And if you don't do it often, you get out of practice.

I don't come across those roads often in my life at all. So I am a tourist or somewhere unknown when I do, and that unfamiliarity and extra stress of not knowing where I'm going, just adds to it all.

But yes of course I reverse when I have to, but I still find it difficult and stressful.

I feel your pain!

I don't live rurally but I am a blue light response driver, hold a PCV and HGV license too.
Responding on lights, in built up areas, we face similar situations - double parked cars making a 2 way street a single lane, I've lost count of the number of times a driver (usually female) will sit there blocking our route in a state of blind panic, seemingly unable to find reverse or even attempt looking for it....
I've been called all sorts too - all while we are either responding or have a patient in the back.

Usually quoting that it is an offense to obstruct emergency services gets them moving but it really shouldn't come to that, and the majority of motorists refusing to move are female.
It never fails to shock me, the amount of oblivious drivers out there.

@PizzaFunghi I don't live rurally either, but it's just reversing, something covered when you take lessons and needed to pass your test.

YABU to suggest women are less capable drivers than men. I have no issues reversing whatsoever thanks.
in the situation you describe of course the other person was being unreasonable.

Yep, seen this often. People should be forced to have mini driving tests every few years with reversing as a top priority. Can't reverse, lose your bloody licence.

I live on a busy single track road. There are plenty of passing places and people are generally pretty sensible. But once recently I met a white van man who gestured that I should reverse - around a bling corner with no passing place for some distance. There was a passing place one car length behind him but he wouldn't move. I shrugged and turned my engine off. He moved. So sometimes people can reverse but they are just pig headed arseholes.

I’ve had this with both men and women. Tbf I do think it’s a lot easier when you know the roads - you know where the parking spaces are and you’ve probably reversed up that lane before (many times 😁). But you’re right there’s no excuse for refusing to reverse a few metres into an obvious passing place. The way they just stare at you like you and your trailer and the three cars behind you should clearly all reverse 25 metres so they don’t have to reverse 2. It’s incredible entitlement. I’ve actually found men are just as bad if not worse for this. Especially for the whole “what, my shiny new 4x4 near that PRICKLY HEDGE AND MUD how could you even suggest it?” act. I find it hilarious how the people buying so called off road vehicles are the same ones who are so phobic of moving out of the middle of the lane.

can I suggest you keep a newspaper in your vehicle and just open it out and wait?

We have this issue on our street. Cars parked on one side, blind spot. Drivers often refuse to reverse even though I may have priority and it’s closer, easier for them to do so. But it’s not limited to women, men are equally arsey about it. All ages, but a lot middle-aged and beyond ( I am 60, so not an ageist comment).

@AlphaAlpha i am so sorry you get abuse when carrying out your job. I find it so hard to comprehend what people are thinking when they know how important your job is!! Maddening.

I had this on a road in Devon where there was a wall either side, and the person coming towards me entered the bit of walled road fully able to see I was already on it. I had 3 cars behind me, she had none. A stand-off ensued. Eventually I got out of the car and told her pleasantly that I wasn’t in a hurry and could sit there all day, but it was unreasonable of her to expect all 4 cars to reverse. She tried to argue there was only 3 cars! Eventually she gave in. She was shit at reversing, that was clearly why she didn’t want to!

I agree everyone should able to reverse. And yes it’s the person with the shortest distance to reverse who should do it - unless i guess there’s not much in it and the nearer car has others backedup behind it.

My experience isnt that its mainly women who do it though. Ive come across alot of men drivers who think they are the only person in the world and refuse to back up.

I think a lot of people choose to never parallel park or reverse bay park from when they pass their test, which really doesn't help as they lose any reversing skills they have learnt.

There are plenty of terrible male drivers unable to reverse out there as well as female.

Scary thing is that now they have done away with the trailer test there will be even more people who can't reverse legally able to tow as well! I did my towing test just a few months before they scrapped it but I'm glad I had lessons and am confident reversing.

I feel you but raise you the , usually male boomers, who insist on waiving you forward as though you could drive round them when there is a 2 inch gap/brook/massive road hole.
I can reverse well and at speed. I can judge the width of my car and so don’t need anyone to tell me how to drive thanks.

what would be handy would be if other drivers could drive properly including judging the space and reversing.

I live rurally and the number of people who will take a short cut on small tracks but then not to able to reverse is irritating!

if you know you can’t reverse, plan your route properly so you don’t have too!

I give people a pass for poor under pressure reversing, once it starts to go wrong it is hard to sort out if you're feeling on the spot.

Isn't part of your realisation about your doubtless impeccable driving that other people don't always find it that easy?

well sort of - but you don't spend much time at all in reversing in either lessons or test here, and reversing down a lane and around bends or up and down hills feels very different to me than the small amount of reversing you do to get into a car park space. I find it much much more stressful, partly because it just never does come up in my usual driving. And being watched makes it worse. It seems more stressful not knowing the roads, not knowing exactly where the passing place is, where the bends or dips are, potholes and ditches, etc. But that's because I drive rarely, live in a city, live in a place where there are no hills even, so have a different experience of driving than some, and you get good at what you practice regularly.

Not saying it's an excuse, of course I should be good at it, but I still do find it difficult and stressful because it doesn't happen often. And the brain processing for driving in reverse -especially when you can't really see as well - is just hard.

so I hate it and try to avoid it whenever I can. Wish my sat nav wouldn't choose roads like that, but even when I try to plan the journey out on maps first, I sometimes still accidentally end up on them as I miss a sign or don't realise, and then I have to rely on it (I'm always alone in the car). It's always in new places where I'm stressed about getting there anyway!

I would of course reverse when needed, though, and be polite about it (and accept any help offered!)

I'm also a 40+ woman and we have recently travelled to Devon and the Lakes. This was a constant irritation!
I live in city/suburbs but have no issues reversing into passing spaces on country lanes. I do enjoy a good chuckle at the dancer weavers who I'm to stubborn to reverse for when they are literally by a space.

It's about mirrors. No-one seems to learn how to use them properly. When you're comfortable with using your mirrors to see properly when you reverse it's no longer a problem. I had someone ask me once why I hadn't looked behind me while reversing, genuinely confused. When I pointed out that I used my mirrors she still didn't get it.