To think if you can’t reverse, then take a different route, or take lessons?

[SavoirFlair]

As part of my hobby I have to drive a trailer and a large vehicle. I live in the suburbs/ countryside, have done for 10 years or so. My road is a typical single track lane but which carries a fair bit of traffic towards the main road if your nav or route takes you here.

in the last few years I have become seriously frustrated seeing the number of drivers, weirdly mainly female like me, who just totally refuse to reverse back into the passing space behind them. Like, a passing space that is a few car lengths behind them!

I have a trailer attached, I have no usable rear mirror, and my passing space is 1 or 2 mins reversing length. Yet they just sit there, staring ahead, refusing to help.

Most times I just reverse - brag alert, I love driving and I think I’m good enough at reversing a trailer that I can do it and get to the space. But this is not the point - convention, driving rules, whatever, all state that I shouldn’t have to reverse that length , with cars forced to back up behind me.

the latest standoff happened Saturday morning - this time though I had four cars behind me, this driver (same age as me I reckon, late 40s) had none , passing space as usual is a few car lengths behind.

She stares, usual gesturing, only this time I get out and ask her “can I help guide you?”

Mouthful of abuse! “You could have seen I was coming, why can’t you move over”

Move over WHERE? We are hemmed in by a ditch and then a hedge!

Then imploring me to back up!

In the end I offered to reverse her car for her which gave her the hump, so she started reversing.

Oh my god. The weaving and dancing down what is a few metres of road…

so AIBU, why can’t folk reverse their vehicles and/or refuse to in simple situations?

this isn’t just a rural thing either - when I’m in London for work, the folk who won’t reverse a couple of feet into the space in the parked cars on either side, but expect me to reverse a whole street length back to the entrance…

Why can’t people REVERSE?!

I think the PP that mentioned that some drivers do not know how to use mirrors has got it bang on. I generally will reverse back unless it is a significant distance, even if the other driver is closer to a space. I know that a lot of drivers just aren't capable. I have to agree that it is normally women.

I have a lot of female friends that get very anxious while driving and simply avoid driving anywhere new if at all possible. I want to offer to take some of these friends out to show them/restore their confidence but I know it will come across as condescending.

This may or may not be connected to MN disdaining the "drive reverse with one arm around the passenger seat" as some sort of affected thing only men do.

I was in a similar but slightly different position on holiday. In an unknown area, driving a car that wasn't mine, and had to reverse quite a long way up a very narrow banked lane to find the nearest parking space.

The vehicle coming the other way was a caravan and I don't think there was a passing space anywhere near them either.

It took me a minute to make sure that I had everything setup (needed to move mirrors down) and could reverse safely and I didn't enjoy it but they were very patient which made it much better. I think that's the main thing.

I have this regularly normally on a hill … I often end up reversing when I’ve got priority and definitely would when I’m closest to the passing space anyway. Sadly though I don’t think other people not reversing is anything to do with ability - more that they just don’t want to !

I do wonder if it's partly a satnav problem. Where I live, the satnav directs people coming in one direction down a single track lane, instead of the perfectly good A road. This included, when I moved here, the removal van. It's insanity because even with a passing place, a lot of the time there is no room to pass. If people stick to the A road there's no problem, but if they are unfamiliar with the area they'll just follow the satnav instructions.

YANBU. if you can't reverse, park, drive on the motorway etc, you shouldn't be driving at all.

@Glitterspy yes to the 5000 point turns. Particularly annoying when I can see that there's about 1m of space between them and the other car but they're still inching backwards and forward 3cm at a time. Almost always someone in a ridiculously huge car. I CAN drive big cars, but I don't like it. So I bought a small car. When I drive DH's big car though, I still drive it like a competent person because otherwise, I shouldn't be driving.

Yes this! I am a happy reverser, as long as I stay calm. Earlier in the week a delivery van came right up to my bumper and absolutely jangled my nerves so I nearly reversed into the hedge. If someone is reversing for you, give them the courtesy of space.

Drivers don't necessarily get exposed to certain driving experiences. I didn't drive very much at all for a few years after I passed my test, at university with good public transport and then living in London. I never had to reverse down a country lane until I lived in a rural area- but I learned very quickly. I used to be nervous about driving in London, but satnavs really help, I can do it now if I have to. The M25 used to be my worst nightmare when I live up north, but I got used to it living in Kent.

I passed my test nearly 30 years ago but have still never driven on the right in another country and I'm not sure how I'd feel about that.

I feel your pain OP! We've had several incidents (all with older, slightly entitled male drivers in the other car) where we've had a standoff as they've refused to reverse when faced with me and my trailer.

My favourite incident has got to be the chap that got out of his car and shouted at me that I should reverse my trailer (complete with two horses in it) round the blind bend and up the hill, as he couldn't possible reverse his Jag back to the visible parking space a few yards away. When he flounced back to his car and announced 'I'm not moving' we turned the car off, got the flask of tea and our sandwiches out and put our feet up on the dashboard. I think he lasted a couple of minutes before reversing up.

I think that driving lessons should include a short drive with a trailer on the back. Maybe if people realised what reversing them entails they would be a little more sympathetic and less likely to be a twat when faced with one.

I can do it now, but it took a week in Devon to “train” me, and I apologise to anyone who met me in a lane that first day. I’m not sure how you’d learn it other than through being in a place where you need to do it. I learned to drive in London, and got early experience of lots of other things - like parallel parking, 6 lane motorways, and enormous numbers of unpredictable pedestrians. But reversing over a distance? I’m not sure where you’d even get a chance to practice.

I find it’s the people in fancy SUV’s who never reverse or move to the side enough to let me pass, scared of scratching their expensive cars.

Agree about the drivers who don’t give you time to reverse and come right up to your bumper .. they are always the ones who could have reversed a few feet but expect you to reverse 30/40 foot uphill .. it does put you off a bit .. and I’ll happily give way … like another poster has said the way to deal with bullies is just to get even slower and more careful

I tow a large trailer on single track roads quite frequently and in my experience it is mainly women who will not or cannot reverse.

My husband’s response if there is no attempt to reverse when there is a passing place just behind the oncoming car is to turn the engine off and start reading a newspaper. He has had the same paper for about ten years.

Sometimes people driving small cars are hesitant to pass me in a space you could drive a bus through. Also they reverse like they are driving a truck.

I share your frustration.

Due to visibility it really isn't very safe to reverse on an open road without a banksman so I try not to do it. I can reverse it and do regularly, round corners, up hills and into parking spaces but when I am not likely to encounter a random person/vehicle animal in my blindspot.

I tend to just wait for them to get bored if it is just a car driver being a dick. Obviously I reverse for larger rigs, such as tractors with trailers.

A farmer I know has been known to turn his engine off, open the newspaper and put his feet up until the car moves.

A friend of mine once encountered a man who wouldn't reverse for her. She was going up a steep hill with a fully laden horse trailer. There was no passing place behind her just a busy junction. The man driving the car coming towards her refused to reverse back to a passing place and physically assaulted her.

I've only ever had males that have refused to back up when it's my right of way. The first time I backed up quite a long distance whilst he just sailed past me without a glance. That was the last time. I stand my ground now.

I get dirty looks quite often because on the road through our village, there's space for cars to park (although we all agree it's annoying) and then there is, JUST, enough space for two cars to pass each other. However, people don't like to do it so it tends to turn into a system whereby cars take turns to go along the road. I regularly just go, leaving sufficient space, only to be glared at. I particularly enjoy it when there's a queue of cars so the first one goes past me no problem, sharing a wry look quite often, but the second car is STILL pissed even though the car in front has just sailed by.

But then, I spent many hours, early in the morning (before it got too busy), driving on a twisty narrow road in our quiet neighbourhood because my dad was absolutely determined that I would be able to navigate narrow roads and not creep over the middle line - one of his absolute bug bears and something that didn't come naturally to me. I had to practice.

I hate reversing, but I will do it. I had my breakthrough on a very twisty, narrow country lane in Norfolk a few years ago when I met a tractor coming the other way. Took me some dancing, weaving, and (in my head) swearing but I managed it and realised that I could in fact do it and it was no real biggie. Then I made the kids give me a round of applause.

Million point turns in car parks because they have no concept of the actual size of their car. Hilarious.

Proper Austin Powers style.

I live on a narrow country road and some of my neighbours can’t reverse either. I have had to reverse around a bend because a complete idiot couldn’t reverse back one car length.
I hate reversing under pressure though.

I live on a single track road where road works elsewhere plus sat navs mean that driving away from our house means encountering at least 6 other cars before reaching the main road. Often you can end up needing to reverse 3 or 4 times to allow for other drivers who can't reverse and insist you should!
I don't know if the driving test has got easier or the trend towards wider cars has made drivers incompetent about manoeuvres but driving in a rural area is a lot more infuriating than it used to be.

OMG this is a huge bugbear of mine - we have this on our road as people use it as a cut through to avoid some traffic lights. It’s a residential road and often around 90% parked with room for one car to drive down at a time and maybe the odd space. Sometimes watching the arguments is a bit of a game for me and DH but I get so mad at people who don’t know how to reverse. Or maybe won’t? Brings out to liars in lots of people who claim there are no spaces to reverse into and make other drivers back all the way down the street onto a main road. I wish there was a bell or something for the liars. I find it is fairly equally women/taxi drivers/van drivers.

YANBU. People shouldn't drive on single track roads if they don't know the rules and conventions.

I'm surprised there hasn't been the usual person by now that comes on banging on about how they are perfectly confident drivers and you are being mean suggesting they aren't because they don't reverse in such situations.

I used to have this a lot (same hobby I suspect) but it was in my normal hatchback car not a big one, but on a single track road. Doesn't help with the idiots who drive along it like it's an A road, but not paying attention and then have to slam the brakes on when they get to you. One almost hit my car with his truck, but managed to crash it into the ditch instead. Moron.

I agree with this. Also an east Londoner and have also been involved in a stand-off about reversing which involved a crowbar being used to beat another man, who hadn't even been one of the original two drivers (I think it was last year? It wasn't particularly long ago anyway). Last week there was another one where a man threatened to beat me up, witnessed by the rest of the queue of traffic. Sometimes it's not worth the argument, I'd rather reverse when I shouldn't have to than get the crap kicked out of me by someone who can't risk scratching his precious car. Other times I will stand my ground, but it depends on whether there are bystanders who might conceivably come to my help if someone actually got violent. I've had plenty of annoying people refuse to reverse on country lanes, but never threats of violence.