To think if you can’t reverse, then take a different route, or take lessons?

[SavoirFlair]

As part of my hobby I have to drive a trailer and a large vehicle. I live in the suburbs/ countryside, have done for 10 years or so. My road is a typical single track lane but which carries a fair bit of traffic towards the main road if your nav or route takes you here.

in the last few years I have become seriously frustrated seeing the number of drivers, weirdly mainly female like me, who just totally refuse to reverse back into the passing space behind them. Like, a passing space that is a few car lengths behind them!

I have a trailer attached, I have no usable rear mirror, and my passing space is 1 or 2 mins reversing length. Yet they just sit there, staring ahead, refusing to help.

Most times I just reverse - brag alert, I love driving and I think I’m good enough at reversing a trailer that I can do it and get to the space. But this is not the point - convention, driving rules, whatever, all state that I shouldn’t have to reverse that length , with cars forced to back up behind me.

the latest standoff happened Saturday morning - this time though I had four cars behind me, this driver (same age as me I reckon, late 40s) had none , passing space as usual is a few car lengths behind.

She stares, usual gesturing, only this time I get out and ask her “can I help guide you?”

Mouthful of abuse! “You could have seen I was coming, why can’t you move over”

Move over WHERE? We are hemmed in by a ditch and then a hedge!

Then imploring me to back up!

In the end I offered to reverse her car for her which gave her the hump, so she started reversing.

Oh my god. The weaving and dancing down what is a few metres of road…

so AIBU, why can’t folk reverse their vehicles and/or refuse to in simple situations?

this isn’t just a rural thing either - when I’m in London for work, the folk who won’t reverse a couple of feet into the space in the parked cars on either side, but expect me to reverse a whole street length back to the entrance…

Why can’t people REVERSE?!

Agree with you OP that it is shocking the number of drivers seemingly incapable of reversing their car (male & female)

The road I live on has a section where there are lots of parked cars and it is not always possible to see 'the other end' when you start passing all the cars so it's not unusual to meet a car coming the other way which requires one of you to reverse. I often find myself reversing back 5 or 6 car lengths to let them through when they would only have had to reverse 1 or 2 car lengths but they just sit there looking gormless and I can't be bothered to get involved in a stand off situation

@PizzaFunghi To me reversing is just reversing whether it's into a parking space, or down a narrow country lane, it's the same process.
I do think some people actively avoid reversing regardless of where they are and will hold out and expect someone else to do it for them, which is not always possible or more dangerous for the other driver, which is unfair. it's also questionable if someone should even be driving if they don't have full control of a vehicle.

I had this a few years ago. I had a minibus with staff and 9 disabled kids in it and a small trailer. I was driving through the Trough of Bowland and a bloke passed a passing place and would not reverse about 20 meters into it. I had not passed a passing place otherwise would have reversed. In the end I shrugged my shoulders and turned the engine off. He gave in but gave me the finger as I drove past.

i ended up on a lane with a white van man appraoching, i had to reverse,
it was awful,
i try and avoid very narrow lanes

You don’t really have to reverse to pass your driving test. The reversing manoeuvre is to pull over, reverse backwards two car lengths on a straight road, and pull out rejoin the traffic safely, and it’s only if you get that one. I suppose if you get a bay park, you do have to reverse out again and if you get a parallel park then you reverse in - BUT in no case are you ever asked to reverse more than two car lengths in order to get a driving license.

it’s a good idea to practice it sure but I’m not going to judge people who end up in an unfamiliar situation and struggle too much as I can think of too many life situations I could easily struggle with myself

I hate reversing but I can do it. I may wobble a bit but I get there in the end. What I hate is people taking the piss, some things people find easy, others don't so much. On a day to day basis reversing isn't really high on the list when you're going from A to B so the practice doesn't really happen. My overall driving skills are pretty good, and I'm sure I'm better at some aspects of driving whereas someone fantastic at reversing may be totally shit at. Some drivers won't even go on motorways or are scared shitless of them.

I’m with you @SavoirFlair

@HorribleHerstory
The method is taught and tested for so you can show you are able to control a vehicle in reverse, not so you can reverse two car lengths should the occasion arise.

Had someone quote the uphill priority to.me and my husband. They wanted us to reverse up the hill on a single track lane... we were on the motorbike....

YY to this. I live in a rural area with a lot of single track lanes and you get used to mentally noting when you've passed a space/gate/wide bend, then going back. But the number of drivers who refuse to move, and then - after I've reversed 150m round two bends - turn out to be one car length away from a huge turning into a farm... They're nearly always driving brand new 4x4s and thus feel the middle of the single track lane is the safest place for their paintwork.

But the method to reverse a car a distance down a winding, often hilly narrow lane and angle it backward toward a passing place is NOT taught and tested for.

the reversing manoeuvre is to reverse in a straight line.

I reversed once on my driving test. Out of a bay park.

I think there are people driving on single track roads that have never done so before. I grew up in the Yorkshire dales- you simply don’t dare pull over to side of road unless there is a clear passing places as you run the risk of taking the side of your car out with hidden stones at bottom of dry stone walls.

the locals knew the roads, the passing places, and most importantly drove at a speed that meant they weren’t going to run into someone coming the other direction (unless it was farm vehicle with high seating in which case they drove around like at 100mph 😱). You also beeped at blind bends- not too many houses so only disturbed the sheep.

but many people driving are on days are out from the city or tourist…they’ve just not had much experience. They don’t even realise what a passing place is used for really, or how infrequent they are and therefore how far back along road you will have to reverse. I’d know that I’d need to reverse back at least once on any journey, but they don’t. And every time they run up against a car coming the other direction it is met with an intake of breath ( yep, know this as my competent ExH driver was like this- I refused to let him drive in dales eventually as couldn’t take the constant stress breath intakes).

These folks clearly looked behind, didn’t see an obvious place, then try to pull over to the verge/stone wall or make me do the same. They’d then realise they couldn’t simply pull over and then wind window down shouting “but the passing place is miles back, you need to reverse”…hmm no, it’s about 100 yards and yes, that’s part of the deal in driving on roads like these.

I think it is a lack of education and emphasis in driving test. Even up there my driving test was in a town and we didn’t cover anything about reversing yards down a windy narrow lane with chunky immovable stone on either side.

but the same is true of people driving through narrow gaps- some people seem unable to do so without freaking out. And bloody hell, don’t get me started on cattle grids, slamming breaks on to a crawl over cattle grids - the tyres won’t fall through the gaps if you drive at normal speeds- really 🤦‍♀️

driving test for me was reverse round a corner and parallel reverse parking.

YANBU. It is infuriating how many people drive cars they don't seem to be able to actually control.

And yes, it IS more often women. However, I do not believe this is because women are naturally worse drivers. It is because of the way that women are taught to drive and the fact that nervousness is accepted from them so they are not forced to get over it.

What I mean by this is that quite often, a young, nervous driver who is a woman will be "mollycoddled". Excuses will be made if she's nervous, she'll be allowed to get away with things or avoid things etc. A young nervous male driver will likely be treated less sensitively by any instructor (formal or informal) AND he is likely to have all kinds of society-ingrained beliefs that he has to be tough etc so even though he's terrified, he'll bluff it out, gaining experience in the interim.

This is exacerbated by a system in this country where quite often new drivers have only ever had formal lessons rather than spending hours driving around with their parents in the car (again, anecdotally, I get the sense this is even more true for girls as the boys will beg to drive as they feel it's "cool" or whatever) and then, motorway driving has to be learned AFTER they take their test - again, women are more likely to avoid this and therefore not get the experience they need.

We live between 3 high schools. I almost NEVER see 6th form girls driving but regularly see the boys parking and walking up....

I will though add that there are a few roads in the dales that my vertigo means I hate pulling over..plunging hill sides to valleys below…it’s shit scary for me 😱🤣🤣. I wait till the Pass looks clear and then leg it and hope nothing comes the other way….🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

And it's the same process, you are demonstrating you have control over a vehicle while doing those manoeuvres.
What if it's a different corner to the one you covered in you test, how about the cars being different lengths when the occasion arises for you to reverse two car lengths.
You can't cover all eventualities.
If your not confident on narrow lanes, get an instructor to take you to one and teach you.

Oh my god. The weaving and dancing down what is a few metres of road…

Sounds like my reversing technique 😂 But I don’t get involved in standoffs, and will happily reverse when I’m closest to the bay but when I do it’s not going to look pretty. To be fair it’s not something that’s taught while learning to drive so a lot of people get nervous about it.

I once had to let another driver finish reversing for me in a dark lane as I was too scared to compete the manoeuvre having almost reversed off the steep bank at the side of the lane. I now avoid lanes when it’s dark.

I reverse when I need to but I hate it. It’s linked to my social anxiety and low self esteem though. I feel like I’m being watched, and judged for going too slow. I also expect to be rubbish at it, so that makes me feel under pressure even more. Luckily, I’m not on country roads that much any more.

I was discussing this with DH last night. A number of men who work for us are anxious drivers. They tend to push on and make the journeys anyway as they are keen to not be seen as 'unmanly' and, therefore, remain anxious but ultimately capable drivers.

We have many female friends who are also anxious drivers. The difference is that, without the pressure to present as 'manly', they will just avoid the vehicles and trips they don't like. Avoidance leads to de-skilling.

Our conclusion was that men and women are just as likely to be poor or anxious drivers, but social norms mean that women are more likely to end up de-skilled as a result of it.

Sat nav has a lot to answer for though - there's a notorious single track road near our house which locals dislike but at least know the passing spaces. Unfortunately, despite being signed as unsuitable for HGVs a lot of big farm delivery lorries are directed down there by satnavs, and when two of them end up meeting head-to-head, usually with a string of cars behind each one, it can close that road for hours.

I find it’s usually men who will refuse to reverse, and that they do it through power play. They are the same drivers who will then drive after you a few cm from you as you reverse rather than waiting for you to reach the passing place. I have never seen a woman refuse to reverse.

I once got into a ridiculous situation with a man who totally refused to reverse on a double parked street - in order to let me drive into my own driveway. For me to drive round him meant having to drive the whole way round a one way system again. I waited until traffic started backing up, with him winding his window down and shouting ‘I’m not reversing for you’ while his partner looked mortified. It was Christmas Day.

I live rurally and, funnily enough, I find it's men who won't reverse even if the passing place is right next to their rear wheel.

I’m with you op. This is my absolute bug bear!! People coming speeding round corners and driving at you. I had one Saturday. A woman, speeding drove past a massive space and expected me to reverse god knows where back down the road. Just sat there staring at me. I was very tempted to get out and ask why she wouldn’t reverse in the space right behind her. It gives me the rage. Also they clearly think their car is the size of a bus. I
live out of town and get it all the time. If you’re not confident driving take more lessons or don’t drive!!

Yes, I live just off a country lane and I think most people who drive down there live off it or are used to driving down there but you do get the odd idiots who:

• Don't pause/slow down at the relevant points to see if anything is coming through, realise half way that they can't pass you and end up reversing (badly) into a hedge
• Refuse to reverse at all
• Drive straight past an obvious passing place when they have seen you coming
• Overtake you when you are in a passing place then feel rather a tit when they meet the huge tractor coming the other way

However, I take exception to the idea that most of these people are female. The biggest issues I have are with male van drivers, cyclists bombing down the lane (surely with a death wish) and boy racer types.

Also I would say that reversing on a country lane should always be undertaken with great caution - if someone comes bombing up behind you and can't stop the collision will likely be ruled to be your fault if you were going backwards. I will reverse but not without trepidation.

To blow my own trumpet, I’m a confident driver never been nervous nor anxious probably quite bullish, great at parallel parking, reverse round a corner etc but by god ask me to reverse straight down a road and I can’t seem to do it. I have no idea why - I end up constantly adjusting the wheel.

It doesn’t stop me reversing and will clearly do it on a narrow lane but a bit slower for some reason my DH can reverse at 30mph without a thought but driving forwards I’m the better driver! 😂