To not explain death of Queen to 4 year old?

[Schooldaysagain]

I've managed to avoid explaining death to my 4 year old so far. We lost FIL during the pandemic and he believes his beloved grandfather moved far away and still sends him presents and emails (which I read out from my phone)
😔

Yeah I've used it as a learning opportunity. We had gently started with flowers and bugs and talking about departed family members. He's 5 and he has many questions about it...he's giving it a lot of thought. He doesn't understand the permanence of death but that will come with time.

Thank fuck for nursery then!

You have been telling a very serious lie to your child for two years. You really need to stop this.

Children will feel sad sometimes. They will have to cope with death. This is an inevitable part of life. What is NOT an inevitable part of life is feeling utterly betrayed by your parents. If you continue this deception for much longer, by the time he finds out the truth he's going to start to wonder what else you've been lying about. He'll start to wonder if he can trust you at all.

And he WILL find out the truth. An overheard conversation, a cousin or uncle or aunt, even googling family members out of boredom when he gets a bit older. You can't keep this a secret forever.

I don't particularly care about the queen one way or another but his own actual grandfather? That he needs to know about.

@DayOfTheTentacle I'm so sorry for your losses, that is heartbreaking, 💐

but I haven't continued a lie that he's still alive! Sorry if I gave that impression.

Indeed, you have.

he believes his beloved grandfather moved far away and still sends him presents and emails (which I read out from my phone)