Husband left baby in pram at a street party

[MyKidsThrowFood]

A few weeks ago we had a street party on our street. We live in a family area but in a big city. It was pretty busy with all our neighbours and their kids, dogs etc there - some of whom we know, others we don’t. I left my 3 month old in pram with DH while I went to chat with some friends. At one point, I looked around and saw DH had left baby in the pram on the kerb while he was getting a drink some 4-5 meters away. He claimed he was watching the pram the whole time but, when I went over to check on baby, it didn’t seem like he immediately noticed me and, anyway, surely that’s not the point? What if a child had knocked the pram with a bike or something worse, and he was too far away to react? AIBU to be upset? Am I helicopter parenting or is he being too lax?

@TheLadyofShalott1 That all makes perfect sense. Thanks for explaining as I had wondered too. I wasn’t annoyed by it; just curious.

Hi @TidyDancer, please see my explanation above, it will hopefully set your mind at rest 😉

Exactly this, I’ve just looked down my kitchen to see how far it was

Oh what fear mongering bollocks. Anyone wanting a child for the dark web will not be stealing from a street party and drawing huge attention to a snatched baby.

Not saying bed things aren’t happening but it’s much more hidden and nefarious threats from people you know as it always was, not some stranger bogeyman.

You're absolutely right, no strangers have ever taken kids off the street and abused them, videoed it and kept them hostage or murdered them ... Ever.

Certainly child sex abuse,boften sold on the web, is much much more likely to be done by people who know and have access to a child, but it has happened with strangers or relative strangers who abducted kids too. In fact there's a case pretty much every year.

That's to your "bollocks" (get a civil tongue in your head btw, keyboard warrior).

You're absolutely right, no strangers have ever taken kids off the street and abused them, videoed it and kept them hostage or murdered them ... Ever.
With both parents actually on the same street? Along with all the other residents of the street as well?

Totally aside from random low risk abduction (!) ... It's not safe or wise to leave a baby in a pram or buggy in the street while you wander off to do stuff and not pay attention all the time (who h op says he wasn't) .... He should have wheeled it over with him, what effort would that have taken really.

I can't be arsed looking for any cases that meet those criteria (you can usually find something if you look enough) but there's a first time for everything. As victims of crime have discovered over and over.

Anyway the parents would need to be watching the buggy/pram - op says he wasn't, she only stumbled upon the situation by accident and wouldn't have been either.

Along with all the other residents of the street as well?

If the residents weren't all known well to each other, why would they have twigged somebody wheeling a baby off wasn't related to it?

Well @Soontobe60, I wouldn't have called my response to userlotsofnumbers a rant, as I wasn't at all angry, I was just trying to answer user's question, and unfortunately it usually takes me quite a while to do so. However, having looked up the meaning of rant in several dictionaries I have to concede that the actual length of a 'piece' can mean that it can legitimately be called a rant - but that was never in my intention.

As for you informing me that more injuries happen inside a child's home than outside, being even more ancient than you, I was already aware of that fact, but thank you for pointing it out just in case I hadn't known about it. Please don't take offence at me saying that I don't think that point is actually relevant in this particular case, as none of what the OP was questioning actually happened indoors, which is why I was referring to things that could happen outside.

I suppose...
Why would a street full of people who keep themselves to themselves to the point of not recognising one another have a street party, though?

That's just me musing, no actual answer to it. It's odd though.

The OP hasn't given us any context.

We don't know if the street was closed to traffic, the type of street it was e.g. close, whether she knew the other residents etc.

Luckily the vast majority of people don't want other people's babies and children and instead act to keep them safe. Even people who take cars at petrol stations abandon them if they find a baby or toddler inside with the child untouched.

That's fine alwaysdarkest, thank you for the thanks 😊

There's a big variety in levels of familiarity between neighbours, don't you think.

Anyway they'd need to have known exactly who the child's parents are (and they might think that another relative of the child was wheeling it if it wasn't one of the parents) and they'd have to have been paying attention - which people often aren't, wrapped up in their own convos, drinking etc.

Everyone who had ever declared that a, b or c would never happen, has generally been proven wrong in time.

I think I'd do the same if I was sitting at a table and just got up to get a drink, with the pram visible at all times. Although it wouldn't really matter what id do. OP's dh felt he'd risk assessed the situation as acceptable and did it. As one of the parents, he's allowed to make that decision.

Even people who take cars at petrol stations abandon them if they find a baby or toddler inside with the child untouched.

??

That's probably because most car thieves just want to get the car to somewhere asap tomcgabge the plates and sell it on ... If they throw the baby or child out on the street, it could be hurt/killed and they'll be looking at sentencing for murder or manslaughter of a child ... if they pass it to random passer by; even with a face covering they have an accurate description of height, build etc to give police ...... Their criminal activity/persuasion is not paedophilic (unless you get a person with a very wide ranging set of criminal activities & persuasions including child sex abuse like Madeleine McCann's suspected abductor and murderer) so why would they suddenly add paedophilia/child sex abuse to it. All round their crime profile and the risks/complications means they'll just look for another car without a kid in it.

(Or abandon the one with the kid in it if they didn't realise before driving off).

Hi @GretaGip, oh dear, I really do seem to have annoyed a surprising amount of people by putting the time I actually started writing my reply to the OP, so I am adding you to the list of people that I am sort of apologising to - I can't keep on doing this though as it is threatening to derail the OP's post over something very minor. So if I have annoyed anyone else please read my explanation - which I think is on page 5. 💐🌺🌹🌼🌻 for everyone on Mumsnet that I have ever annoyed!

@LemonDrop22 same reason as burglars who run if they find someone is at home awake.

Happened to me years ago and the guy got caught. Lucky for us, but not for him, he chose his location, time and day of the week poorly.

Was your DH just standing by himself in the middle of the street party? Was he not interacting with other people who would have been aware he was leaving the baby to get a drink? Regardless I think going a few metres away to get a drink is totally fine in this set of circumstances.

Also agree why would he react to the op going over to the baby?

I was as stressed out with my only son when he was little too. Both my husband's and my most common word with him was "dangerous!" Today he's 20 and scared of his shadow. He's hardly left home since the beginning of COVID because he's too fearful, hasn't had a job, never takes any risks. It sounds to me like you're well on your way to creating such a child. For your child's sake, just stop. It's not your husband at fault. You're both adults, you're both parents, and he has as much right to decide how your child is raised as you.

It’s utter bollocks and you’re just trying to wind up nervous parents. I see you. I could be much harsher about what you’re doing, bollocks was relatively kind.

Yes there’s cases. I never said there wasn’t. But stranger risk has remained constant over decades. You’re just at the wind up to create panic.

And don’t worry about the keyboard warrior bit, quite happy to tell you to your face.