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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you go out if your child was on a sleepover?

138 replies

Bagpuss2022 · 10/09/2022 22:20

Dd has two friends stopping over one has been sick and is running a temp. We know the parents well girls been friends since reception now 12 y8 ,
I can’t get hold of either parent I saw earlier on fb they were at some gig I’m not opposed to parents going out when I have there children sleeping over but not to be able to get old of them and the Dad has posted on social media since i have called them both

of course I’m taking care of “Lilia” she’s laying on the sofa in the dining room with Netflix and a sick bowl I keep checking on her and she’s in the next room the other girls are upstairs I feel mean but I don’t want them both to come down with it too

wwyd? The poor girl just wants her mum and her bed

OP posts:
Shiningstarr · 11/09/2022 08:01

I honestly can't believe the selfishness of her parents. If that were my daughter I would want to be with her and want her home!

Sounds like they used you as a free babysitter to go out, they had no intention of answering their phone or coming back early from the gig.

I'd be distancing myself from these people, fair enough the girls are friends but if the girl was staying over again, I'd make it crystal clear that they need to be contactable.

ExplodingCarrots · 11/09/2022 08:03

Do you think they knew she was ill and still let her go to the sleepover so their plans wouldn't be ruined Sad

newbiename · 11/09/2022 08:09

ExplodingCarrots · 11/09/2022 08:03

Do you think they knew she was ill and still let her go to the sleepover so their plans wouldn't be ruined Sad

That's what I thought

Shiningstarr · 11/09/2022 08:15

ExplodingCarrots · 11/09/2022 08:03

Do you think they knew she was ill and still let her go to the sleepover so their plans wouldn't be ruined Sad

^^ definitely this. I bet they knew she was feeling under the weather but didn't want to cancel the plans.

Mouthfulofquiz · 11/09/2022 08:18

I bet they knew she was poorly! anyway, I think you should drop her home early this morning to make sure there are no shitty excuses for a late pick up and you can go and enjoy your day. Hope you managed to sleep.

Joewasmyfave · 11/09/2022 08:24

That poor girl. Her parents are unbelievably selfish. She must feel so embarrassed.

gogohmm · 11/09/2022 08:24

Yes i would go out. If I had tickets for something I would have sent them to grandparents/hired a sitter if they sleepover hadn't happened

Flatandhappy · 11/09/2022 08:27

Of course it is fine to go out, make the most of a child free evening, but as a parent you need to be contactable and have a plan b if things go awry.

Cats23 · 11/09/2022 08:37

Joewasmyfave · 11/09/2022 08:24

That poor girl. Her parents are unbelievably selfish. She must feel so embarrassed.

Agree!
What shit parents they are, that poor girl could easily pass on illness to you and family too- Not her fault, again the parents.
I would definietly be telling them how out of order they are

diddl · 11/09/2022 08:39

Bagpuss2022 · 11/09/2022 00:37

She’s been sick again and now runs the. Mum has messaged saying on way home but can’t get there DD as both had a drink I’m happy to look after her and drop her off at 9am she was very apologetic think I’m in for a long night

More fool you imo.

Kids can't help being ill, but it's enough a sleepless night & cleaning up after your own kid-let alone anyone else's!

Bobbins36 · 11/09/2022 08:43

Fair enough of the parents to admit having had a drink - incidentally we live rurally and never able to call a cab on spec, takes a days notice! But slack of them to not check phones now and again throughout the evening.

I’d be dropping off sick kid nice and early and banking a massive favour to be called in at some future point! Shame if you are tired for birthday celebrations though x

Holidaydreamingagain · 11/09/2022 08:45

I actually don’t believe the update. Nobody leaves their 12 year old if they’ve been sick. If they can’t drive they get a cab.

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 11/09/2022 08:47

Holidaydreamingagain · 11/09/2022 08:45

I actually don’t believe the update. Nobody leaves their 12 year old if they’ve been sick. If they can’t drive they get a cab.

WTF. You do know shitty parents exist right? There's an entire service that exists based on the fact some parents are really really shit.

Kashmirsilver · 11/09/2022 08:58

Wow, we had a child that was unbelievably ill stop with us. Eventually, the parents turned up in a taxi at 1 am, a bit fresh but they took their child home with them.
What kind of parent leaves it until the morning?🤔

Jaaxe · 11/09/2022 09:02

This is terrible! By all means go out but you have to be contactable and if there’s an emergency be able to get to your child. One of them shouldn’t of been drinking or they should of at least had someone else who could collect the child if needed, which it was.

I would be raging, I’d never leave my sick child at a sleepover whether I was at a gig or otherwise, we’d be leaving, I’d be wanting to get to her asap to comfort her and make sure she was ok, we’d be collecting her and I’d also be profusely apologising for any inconvenience to you and your daughter with it ruining her birthday somewhat and hoping you didn’t get the bug.

If I was you I’d of said I’d drop her home to them, I always make sure if I have a child to sleep I’m prepared to have to drop them back in middle of the night as kids are unpredictable, illness, missing their parent etc….

Id also be annoyed and worried about you all catching a bug and wouldn’t put it past the other child at the sleepovers parent to be expecting a bug too. I realise this can’t always be helped but from what you’ve said and the sick kids parents blatantly ignoring your calls and texts and prolonging picking her up I wouldn’t be suprised if they sent her knowing she wasn’t well so they didn’t miss the gig as they clearly had no intention of missing it when you txt them saying she was unwell.

Well done to you for taking good care of this poorly child, sounds like you’ve done a better job than her parents would of, hope it’s not ruined your daughters birthday too much

containsnuts · 11/09/2022 09:04

Yes, of course I'd go out - it's the whole advantage of having a night to yourself. I would check my phone and not drink too much just incase I'm needed though. Still a mum, even on a night out!

OriginalUsername3 · 11/09/2022 09:04

I think if you're planning to go out and be uncontactable then you tell the other parent and give them an alternative contact number. I wouldn't mind that way but what if something more serious has happened and you'd had to make decisions about whether she needed hospital and stuff?

LadyEloise1 · 11/09/2022 09:09

I would go out yes but my phone would be on in case of emergency.
They could have got a taxi over to collect her. There's no place like your own bed when you are feeling poorly.
I do hope the child gets better soon.
If it's vomiting and diarrhoea she has, I hope your family and the other friend don't get it.

Lostoldusername · 11/09/2022 09:11

Bagpuss2022 · 11/09/2022 00:37

She’s been sick again and now runs the. Mum has messaged saying on way home but can’t get there DD as both had a drink I’m happy to look after her and drop her off at 9am she was very apologetic think I’m in for a long night

That is outrageous!
I went out and my Mum had my then 3yr old, she called to say he'd spiked a temp that wasn't coming down but she was happy to keep him. Straight away I ordered a taxi for us to collect him, cost me £60 as I got the taxi to wait, I went in then it dropped us home.
That was my Mum who I trust more than anything! I cannot fathom someone leaving a poorly child at a friend's house!

WimbyAce · 11/09/2022 09:15

Fair enough going out but if my child was sick I would abandon and go pick them up ASAP.

SurfBox · 11/09/2022 09:19

It's literally the reason my dc do sleepovers! Free babysitters

at year 8 though many kids stay in house by themselves if parents go out so no babysitter really needed.

FirstAidKitNowPlease · 11/09/2022 09:21

SurfBox · 11/09/2022 09:19

It's literally the reason my dc do sleepovers! Free babysitters

at year 8 though many kids stay in house by themselves if parents go out so no babysitter really needed.

So 12 and 13 yo children would be left alone all evening until the early hours ?!

mamabear715 · 11/09/2022 09:22

Shocking. :-(

Darbs76 · 11/09/2022 09:23

Agree they should have got a taxi, or I’d have driven her home myself given you haven’t had a drink. That would have been the best option. No way I’d leave a sick child at a sleepover when they are vomiting - taxi would wait whilst they collected her

Cactuslockdown · 11/09/2022 09:23

That’s awful OP, can’t believe they’d leave a sick child. The child must feel physically dreadful as well as embarrassed!
I think I would have taken her home as soon as the parents arrived… not fair to put either of you in this situation!