I recently inherited some money and I used most of it to pay a large chunk of the mortgage but put £10k of it aside and have booked a proper holiday of a lifetime to Thailand in October for myself and dc. My aunt, who I inherited the money from had always made me promise I’d spend a chunk of it on a big treat for myself that I’d never normally do so that’s exactly what I’ve done.
DH and I are divorced but I’m still pretty close to his family. His SIL works in the travel industry and has very kindly been helping me organise this holiday. She’s booked us various excursions that I couldn’t work out how to do and got us some amazing discounts on hotels which I’m truly grateful for. When I first starting talking to her about it one of the things she suggested was a sailing charter. They looked absolutely amazing but, although I could just about stretch to the cost of the charter itself (about £4k 😱) she said that tips of 10-20% are pretty much expected so I ruled it out and booked other stuff instead. The trip is now pretty much completely booked, all excursions paid for or deposit down and it’s cost £8,200 so I’ve got £1800 left to spend when we’re out there.
Yesterday ex SIL phoned me up to say that ex MIL was going to be calling that afternoon and that she suspected she had some news that I wouldn’t like. Ex MIL calls me and tells me excitedly that she’s booked the sailing charter for us for the holiday as she really wanted to spoil her GC’s, she didn’t want to wait until she was dead for us to have a treat and that she knew we really wanted to do it but couldn’t afford it. I told her that we had everything booked now, that it was in a different part of the country to where we’ll be on the date she’s booked it and I didn’t know if I’d be able to get everything refunded/ deposit back. She brushed this aside and said she’d send me the link, that she’d paid for it and once I saw it then she knew that I’d love it.
The link is to a charter on a bloody super yacht. Looking at the prices I think she’s spent an absolute minimum of £10k on the 3 day charter. The original one we were looking at was sailing on a traditional boat, going to nature reserves and snorkelling. This is suggesting casinos, nightlife, possible firework displays for an extra £4k, a proper chef when my kids only eat beige food. Ex PIL are not rich. I do not know why they have done this. Even if I cancel the 3 nights accommodation that I’ve booked and rearrange the whole thing so that I’m in the place I need to be for this bloody boat I still need to cut back spending so I’ve got an extra £2-3k for tips. I am so grateful that she’s thinking of us but it is neither what I want to do or what I can afford.
I’ve tried speaking to her and she just isn’t listening. She’s adamant in doing it because I’m uncomfortable accepting such a large gift (which is a part of it tbh). SIL is going to try and speak to her but I don’t know if she’ll manage to get through to her. I don’t think I’m being ungrateful but I would genuinely rather she donate the money to charity than spend it on something that makes this holiday that I’m so looking forward to into something I don’t want.