To worry we gave away 100k of my inheritance!

[howdidIgetthere]

My DH thinks I am, but if I'm right then it's in his interest to say that!

Basically, we were in a pickle buying a house last year. We were consolidating houses with my DF to purchase a big house, and hoped that myself of my DF could be on the mortgage or deeds as a safety due to my DF helping with the deposit.

To cut a long story and identifying details this wasn't possible. Neither of us could be on a plausible mortgage, and the lenders wouldn't like us on the deeds either. But we needed a house. So as I was already engaged, we agreed between us that my DF would 'gift' 100k of inheritance to my DH so that he could solely purchase the house, but we would get married beforehand to safeguard my stake.

So we eloped without telling anyone else, my DF gifted the money and the house was purchased in my DH's name only. We had a proper wedding a few weeks after and all is well. As far as I know, because the house was purchased after marriage, I have a stake in the house should we divorce, and can get some of that value back in lieu of my inheritance/not be left with no money and nowhere to live.

However, since the purchase the house has had extensive renovations and its value is increasing significantly. I have noticed that my DH keeps referring to people that the purchase date was back in the summer, months before our marriage. I know for a fact from the deeds etc that the closing date was not until a month after we were married, when the funds were transferred. Before the marriage, the mortgage may just have been accepted, but zero money had been exchanged.

When I ask him about this he says iabu for questioning him, that yes he bought it before we got married ie he's taking the acceptance of an offer on the house as when he bought it. This is obviously very worrying for me, as if he bought it before we were married or some other loophole then in the case of divorce I have lost most of my inheritance and have no stake on the house!!!

I don't know why he is saying this as at the time he agreed it was the best option so that all parties were happy and protected. I have resisted a marital rights notice on the deeds, but otherwise I am still not on the deeds or the mortgage (I don't have a high enough income). So who is BU? Have we been misled and given away my inheritance, or is my DH wrong and for some reason trying to say something that's incorrect?

Saying something that's untrue is not the same thing as lying. For an untruth to be a lie, there must be a deliberate intention to deceive.

We need to know the context where he's telling people when the house was bought. Maybe, in context, the legal completion date is not particularly relevant.

It doesn't change anything legally if the tells people the wrong date, so what would be his motive for lying?

He should be happy to 'ringfence' that 100k for you legally in the event your relationship breaks down.

This.

Did you speak to any solicitors/brokers etc yourself or are you just repeating what you’ve been told by your dodgy as hell DH? Because some of what you’re saying here sounds way off. Do you have children with him or are they kids from previous relationships? I would be very wary of tying myself to him any more than you already are.

Wills become void on marriage so his current one is no longer valid. But you’ve now reminded him to make a new one - make sure you know what his new one says. Since there are children involved the two of you should be discussing your wills together.

Please listen to @PinotPony - you now have a solicitor confirming what many of us have been saying, so we’re not all being suspicious-minded meanies vilifying your husband for no reason. Ignore @Doingprettywellthanks wittering on about him financially supporting you (his wife!) - this is not relevant to the issues with the property ownership and the deposit.

@HotToddyColdSauvignon because I'm being told all sorts of conflicting information, that looks like an online form which I did for the marital rights. someone else says a solicitor does it, my DF says I approach the bank who puts me on the deeds, so It's confusing. I will speak to a solicitor as I said.

Yes agreed it cause arguments at the time that my dh was excluding us from conversations and we were only hearing what he was telling us.

No he's not controlling about finances.

Even if you think he isn't "controlling" about finances, he is "in control" of finances.

You're in a very vulnerable position as it seems he's done as much as he can to stop you having visibility of the finances.

I'm staggered that a father savvy enough to have £100k to gift isn't sensible enough to ensure his child is adequately safeguarded legally.

I'm going to say this again...

Marital home rights give you limited protection in that DH can't throw you out. It doesn't protect your financial interest.

yes I'm in my twenties there is an age gap of over 10 years. We are very definitely legally married. Again, my dad is quite sensible, he also said this was a safe way of doing things so it's not all on me!!!

This is your biggest red flag.

If I was in this situation with my partner and he excluded me from conversations like this. If a lawyer said they could not discuss that while I was there I would be expecting my partner to give permission and insist on it (in the same was as a medical appointment)

The fact that he kept you out shows he is not as open about all this as you think and the fact you did not insist shows that you were/are very naive

I am sure my dad would have had something to say to my ‘d’h that he was handing over £100k to if he was excluding me. Your dad hasn’t protected you in this

Who’s idea was it to elope abroad instead of just going to the registry office? I already know the answer.

it cause arguments at the time that my dh was excluding us from conversations and we were only hearing what he was telling us

But the £100k still got handed over?!? 😂

Honestly, I hope this isn't real. If it is, then for your children's sake you need to wise up.

Not a lawyer
The house is now a marital asset as far as I know
As for your Dads £100k no idea

could he have signed a sale contract over a month before funds exchanged though? I can't give the details without being outing, but it was a very complicated purchase process which threw up lots of problems. Myself and my DF did speak to a solicitor, but the mortgage application part was all a bit closed door I was very unhappy about that at the time but believed as we were married I would be safe. I don't know or really think that he told them we were married. I was waiting 6 months to apply to go on the deeds.

That 6 months has now passed I have registered marital rights and will push to speak to the bank to go on the mortgage.

I will also see a solicitor to get advice on protecting myself in the event of divorce

I can see why you're confused. Your DF is incorrect telling you that the bank put you on the deeds.

Stop relying on family members. Start figuring this out for yourself.

Your Will is the last of your worries. Make an appointment to speak to a solicitor specifically about your financial interest in the property.

What standard of life do you have Op?

does he also financially support your children from previous tel? Do they live with you?

OP the first thing you need to go is to the solicitor.
Not the bank as the mortgage isn't your only issue here.
Your dad isn't qualified to give you advice however well intentioned he might be.
Your DH appears to be a bit of a mystery and it's certainly questionable whether he's been acting as a partnership with you.
You should have been transparently on the deeds from the start. And the 100k gift should have been legally acknowledged. Yes it's more work / complicated but it should have been ringfenced for you. You need those fixed asap and you need an independent legal expert to get it sorted out for you.
If your DH resists then I'd suggest get back to work, get out and no babies.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about him saying he bought it when he means made an offer. Lots of people do this, same as they’ll say they’ve sold their house when they mean they’ve accepted an offer.

however, you should definitely get legal advice.

OP, there are three dates:

• offer accepted (irrelevant as this isnt legally binding)
• exchange of contracts (this is where it becomes legally binding)
• completion (money changes hands)

The first doesn't matter for legal purposes. The second and third can certainly be a month apart - do you know what the exact dates were?

Your dad is not sensible. He’s handed £100k over to someone you have known for 3 years.

Yes we all reside together and a very good standard of life. Currently there is no divorce on the cards.. I am working as hard as I can to build a career so that I have my own income and stability from home as childcare and lack of a degree makes that difficult right now.

It doesn't sound like your DF is financially savvy at all. I suspect your DH has pulled the wool over his eyes too, spinning him a line about "the broker being pushy" to get the £100K in his sole name.

Hi OP.

I understand house purchases can be really tricky to navigate. It’s strange that your DH is dragging his feet on getting you on the property deeds.

Here are a couple of ideas:

1. You are correct in that title to a property is not transferred until “completion” which will be the day your money was transferred to the seller by your solicitor, not the date of acceptance of your offer to purchase.
2. You MUST seek legal advice, *by yourself*. Seek out a property solicitor at a firm which also does private client (aka family law, and wills and probate) work, and have a brief initial conversation to explain what you want. This should initially be free. It sounds like your concern is the house was bought in DH’s name using your DF’s funds which were earmarked as your inheritance, you therefore aren’t on the title deeds, and you want security. You will be able to provide enough detail for a solicitor to get the ball rolling on asking you relevant questions to get to the bottom of this.
3. Your mortgage lender will have a restriction on the deeds (called a title register) which prevents the register being changed without their consent. You can’t put yourself on the register (aka deeds) without that consent as HM Land Registry will need to see the lender’s consent to change the register to add you on. So approach your bank to ask what the criteria are (if any) to obtaining that consent. Tell your solicitor what the criteria are.
4. If you want to know what level of protection you currently have, which will inform you of whether you want to be put on the title register, you should speak to a family solicitor.

My understanding (not legal advice) is you would be entitled to 50% of the marital assets on divorce BUT you currently have no rights to the property in the meantime if you are not on the title register. Therefore he could (while still married!) sell it and take all the proceeds, or remortgage it, or do anything with it and (legally) you wouldn’t have a say… This is something you can discuss with your property solicitor.

If your husband doesn’t like it, I would do everything you can to get the ball rolling to make it very hard for him to argue he doesn’t know what to do/doesn’t have time/etc.

All the best, let us know what your solicitor(s) say!

I don't know what the second date is no

I have to go out and pick up children but just to reiterate

I will call solicitors in the morning!! (or Monday if they are closed)