To worry we gave away 100k of my inheritance!

[howdidIgetthere]

My DH thinks I am, but if I'm right then it's in his interest to say that!

Basically, we were in a pickle buying a house last year. We were consolidating houses with my DF to purchase a big house, and hoped that myself of my DF could be on the mortgage or deeds as a safety due to my DF helping with the deposit.

To cut a long story and identifying details this wasn't possible. Neither of us could be on a plausible mortgage, and the lenders wouldn't like us on the deeds either. But we needed a house. So as I was already engaged, we agreed between us that my DF would 'gift' 100k of inheritance to my DH so that he could solely purchase the house, but we would get married beforehand to safeguard my stake.

So we eloped without telling anyone else, my DF gifted the money and the house was purchased in my DH's name only. We had a proper wedding a few weeks after and all is well. As far as I know, because the house was purchased after marriage, I have a stake in the house should we divorce, and can get some of that value back in lieu of my inheritance/not be left with no money and nowhere to live.

However, since the purchase the house has had extensive renovations and its value is increasing significantly. I have noticed that my DH keeps referring to people that the purchase date was back in the summer, months before our marriage. I know for a fact from the deeds etc that the closing date was not until a month after we were married, when the funds were transferred. Before the marriage, the mortgage may just have been accepted, but zero money had been exchanged.

When I ask him about this he says iabu for questioning him, that yes he bought it before we got married ie he's taking the acceptance of an offer on the house as when he bought it. This is obviously very worrying for me, as if he bought it before we were married or some other loophole then in the case of divorce I have lost most of my inheritance and have no stake on the house!!!

I don't know why he is saying this as at the time he agreed it was the best option so that all parties were happy and protected. I have resisted a marital rights notice on the deeds, but otherwise I am still not on the deeds or the mortgage (I don't have a high enough income). So who is BU? Have we been misled and given away my inheritance, or is my DH wrong and for some reason trying to say something that's incorrect?

Wait a minute, you haven't told your DH what is in your will?

It's fair enough to leave it to your children, but a marriage is a partnership and your DH should at least know what your plans are, so that he can also plan.

Threads and comments like these make me very glad that DH and I discuss these important matters openly and honestly. I know what's in his will, and he knows what's in mine. And all the big financial decisions that affect us both are taken jointly, with both of us present at meetings with banks etc.

Not RTFT and I'm sure others have said the same but I was a SAHM years ago when we bought this house, I earned jack shit at that point but I was on the mortgage and deeds from the start.

*Nooooooooo do not ask your 'd'h !! For gods sake woman find an independent backbone somewhere !!
*
You do not need a Penis in order to pick the phone up and make an appointment with a solicitor. If you are a mature student than you surely have enough brain power to use a phone.

Your initial question in here was to be concerned that you have 'given away' 100k of inheritance. So you were suspicious enough to ask the question. ... so you KNOW it's possible you and your father have both been duped... and yet you want to go and check this out WITH the man who may have done the duping ?

Come on OP. Stop being a weedy 'little womanI' put your big girl pants on. Get in the car/go for a walk.. and make an appointment to discuss YOUR inheritance with YOUR legal adviser. You can then get your interest in the property properly registered and present it as a fair acompli ... saving your 'D' H all that pesky hassle while he is oh-so-busy...

Deeds is different to mortgage. If you/df contributed a substantial deposit at very least TIC should reflect it. A solicitor would deal with land registry, not the mortgage lender (although they would have a charge registered on it).

There's no evidence in the thread that he has lied.

There were no prenups.

At the time my DH agreed that yes we would be married before so that I was protected and that I would go on the deeds 6 months after, my DF lives in the house too so it's his protection too. Again I just asked my DF about this and he's not concerned

As said I am on the deeds as a spouse, I did a marital rights notice.

I will ask him what's in his will

I will arrange to speak to a solicitor and ask him If we can make an appointment with the bank

I don't think he intends to screw me over no. I don't think he plans to divorce me! I'm just concerned about his referrals to purchasing it in summer

I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lender etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

Holy shit what I have just read? Why on earth were you not?

I am a SAHM and on the mortgage and house deeds through 2 house moves. You need legal advice, independent legal advice. Stop letting other people, your Dad and your husband make these decisions on your behalf, you are not a child.

I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

Hmm..so you're basically just going off what your dh tells you?

You need legal advice. I was working a zero hours contract and wasnt earning much when we purchased our house. I’m on the mortgage and deeds.

Why on earth did you do this OP?

Is there a deed of trust protecting you or your fathers contribution to the house purchase?

Getting your name on the mortgage now would most likely require re-mortgaging and getting your name on the deeds would probably trigger stamp duty payment by you (based on half of the value of the mortgage).

Used to be a few forms. Mortgage nothing to do with the deeds.
Why on earth didn't you get legal advice ???
I really hope he hasn't conned you out I'of £100 000.
Where did you get married ? Is it legal ? Why did you need to go abroad ? You could have just had a quick wedding in the local register office.

Not if he has named his children as the only beneficiaries

Why should we ignore his financial contribution, but not ignore her fathers?

i don’t think o/p has said what his contribution was?

if she contributed the entirety of the deposit, and he only money from the mortgage, if they split he would be entitled to half the house, so half of o/p’s deposit plus half of any increase in value.

o/p says she has signed a form to waive habitation rights on repossession. So if he remortgages, defaults, then buggers off she is out on her ear with no money.

dh’s ex did this, persuaded dh to remortgage. Kicked him out (shagging another man). No equity in the house any more so dh got nothing, nothing to show for 20 years and his deposit that only he contributed to gone. And that was with him on the deeds/mortgage

Is there a chance that you and your father are being financially abused?

He's going around telling people that he bought the house before he married the OP.

And that's without the other things that the OP has been told that are highly, highly likely to be lies.

As for the comments about me being a non-earner, it suits my DH for me not to work. I am more than happy to work, but it ends up causing difficulties with childcare and travel as my DH has to travel a lot, and seems a bit silly as a student struggling for a couple of hundred a week which he throws away without a thought. I would still happily do it, but I am hoping to develop a career which would be outing if I say what it is, it doesn't earn me anything at the minute but the more time I can put into it the better and hopefully that will be my career in the future.

I am not planning to be a SAHM my whole life!! Although we are planning to TTC next year and I may do postgrad studies

Sigh. That's what your dh has told you. He has screwed you over. The marriage right now is very short. If you were to divorce tomorrow, it's likely you'd leave with what you came in with - which was nothing. Your dh would leave with what he came in with - which is the £100k your df gave him.

Do you and your dh have any children together?

This is all a bit 'father hands over daughter plus dowry to husband'.
I expand my previous comment OP - no more 'DH says' or 'DF says'.
Stop listening to men telling you what's best for you.

Which I thinknis highly likely, as its what any sensible father would do. They are his main dependents, incapable of earning for themselves at present.

You need your own legal advice, please seek it.

Your posts do not make sense so i am thinking somebody has been telling you lies. Its too late now but the obvious way originally would have been DF gifting you the £100k and you using that as the deposit. The way you have done it is "hiding" it. Get yourself on the deeds now.

I know for a fact from the deeds etc that the closing date was not until a month after we were married, when the funds were transferred.

Your DH can say what he likes to who he likes, in legal terms the above indicates that the house was purchased after you married, so it will be an asset of the marriage.

I'd be more worried about your DH trying to put distance between you and your share of the property.

Please OP, read up on the legalities of house buying and what all the terms mean, or get an appointment with a solicitor and ask them to explain it all. You’re very confused about all of this. The mortgage and the deeds are not the same thing. You’ve been told things that aren’t true, primarily by your husband.

What seems to have happened is that your DF gave your husband (not the two of you) the money as a gift. Husband then used it to buy the house in his name. You were told this was the only way to do it which isn’t true. For some bizarre and fishy reason husband is now telling people he bought the house before you were married. He’s basically saying the house belongs to just him.Why would he be saying that to other people? It’s not true, the purchase date is the day of completion, not the day the offer was accepted, that’s ridiculous. Offers get retracted all the time, and it doesn’t mean the house was purchased and then un-purchased.

Red flags:
Pack of lies as to why the money had to be given to him and you had to be left out of all “paperwork”
He’s telling people he bought the house before the marriage. Untrue and why would you say that unless you were planning to divorce your wife and say she has no claim on any share of the house?
You don’t know what his will says - this is nuts, married people with children don’t keep the contents of their will secret form their spouses.

Sorry but his behaviour is very suspect.

How do you know that is actually true though OP, you said you weren't part of the conversations with the broker? I very much suspect when you say 'The broker was very pushy' it likely means 'DH wanted to stop awkward questions and speed things through so told me the broker was pushy'

Well why don’t you Google it, like I did?

getting a bit frustrated with you now OP, you’re a grown woman with children, why do you just let your ‘d’h tell you X is Y and Z is A??

do some research, book an appointment with a solicitor, fill out the sodding land registry form and grow a pair!

But in his role as 100% financially supporting you and your studies - is he in anyway controlling and stopping you spending etc? What kind of quality of life do you have in his complete financial support?