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Original poster

To worry we gave away 100k of my inheritance!

1000 replies

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:33

My DH thinks I am, but if I'm right then it's in his interest to say that!

Basically, we were in a pickle buying a house last year. We were consolidating houses with my DF to purchase a big house, and hoped that myself of my DF could be on the mortgage or deeds as a safety due to my DF helping with the deposit.

To cut a long story and identifying details this wasn't possible. Neither of us could be on a plausible mortgage, and the lenders wouldn't like us on the deeds either. But we needed a house. So as I was already engaged, we agreed between us that my DF would 'gift' 100k of inheritance to my DH so that he could solely purchase the house, but we would get married beforehand to safeguard my stake.

So we eloped without telling anyone else, my DF gifted the money and the house was purchased in my DH's name only. We had a proper wedding a few weeks after and all is well. As far as I know, because the house was purchased after marriage, I have a stake in the house should we divorce, and can get some of that value back in lieu of my inheritance/not be left with no money and nowhere to live.

However, since the purchase the house has had extensive renovations and its value is increasing significantly. I have noticed that my DH keeps referring to people that the purchase date was back in the summer, months before our marriage. I know for a fact from the deeds etc that the closing date was not until a month after we were married, when the funds were transferred. Before the marriage, the mortgage may just have been accepted, but zero money had been exchanged.

When I ask him about this he says iabu for questioning him, that yes he bought it before we got married ie he's taking the acceptance of an offer on the house as when he bought it. This is obviously very worrying for me, as if he bought it before we were married or some other loophole then in the case of divorce I have lost most of my inheritance and have no stake on the house!!!

I don't know why he is saying this as at the time he agreed it was the best option so that all parties were happy and protected. I have resisted a marital rights notice on the deeds, but otherwise I am still not on the deeds or the mortgage (I don't have a high enough income). So who is BU? Have we been misled and given away my inheritance, or is my DH wrong and for some reason trying to say something that's incorrect?

OP posts:
Bubblebubblebah · 09/09/2022 15:54

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:51

As I said at the time of getting the mortgage offer we weren't married. I was told no mortgage lender would touch me with a bargepole as I have a couple of very old defaults. When we got married I think he'd already accepted an offer and the broker was very pushy saying we couldn't lose that offer, we were also on a time crunch.

My DF couldn't have gifted it to me, my DH needed it to give as part of the deposit.

Who told you that and don't tell me no one questioned 100k! I had to provide proofs and statements for 4k ffs.

Did you speak to an actual solicitor or actual mortgage advisor

KiraKiraHikaru · 09/09/2022 15:54

Do you have children together?

FinallyHere · 09/09/2022 15:56

My DF couldn't have gifted it to me, my DH needed it to give as part of the deposit.

This makes no sense to me. What was to stop your DF gifting you the money then you providing it as your contribution to the house purchase.

It sounds very, deeply sexist. I so hope not.

Your best chance is to start to inform yourself of the actual law in the country in which the house was purchased. Knowledge is power.

I hope it works out well for you xx

Octomore · 09/09/2022 15:56

Ingleduh · 09/09/2022 15:39

I don't understand why you couldn't be on the deeds and just not on the mortgage? Did he tell you this or was it the lender?

If your planning on staying married and trust your husband then I don't think it's a major issue but it defo sounds a bit sus.

This is insane. There is no good reason why a student couldn't go on the mortgage/deeds. None at all.

Who told you that you wouldn't be allowed?

Fladdermus · 09/09/2022 15:56

The concern for me would be the language he's using. Why is talking about when 'he' bought the house rather than when 'we' bought the house. Sounds like he doesn't see you as an equal in a partnership. In his mind it's his house, nothing to do with you.

endofthelinefinally · 09/09/2022 15:56

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:53

There are minors involved we have multiple DC from previous relationships

This is looking worse and worse. You need to find out if you are legally married, then you need to make sure you are on the deeds with a fair allocation of ownership, then you need to get legal advice about inheritance, wills etc.

Zilla1 · 09/09/2022 15:57

If your DP continues like this and you stay together and should your DF unfortunately pass then best keep any inheritance in a separate account and avoid 'investing' it in house improvements.

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/09/2022 15:57

Op do you work?

martinsmoneysaver · 09/09/2022 15:57

I'm on my mortgage with 0 income. My husband is the sole earner but I'm still on the deeds. I'd it because of debt or credit score that you aren't on?
I would look at this very closely. He sounds like he's trying to scam his wife!

Original poster
howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:57

Very definitely legally married. I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

OP posts:
KiraKiraHikaru · 09/09/2022 15:58

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:57

Very definitely legally married. I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

Are you for real?

Reallyreallyborednow · 09/09/2022 15:58

Yes I think we are tenants in common, I did have to sign some paperwork about my living there at the time of completion. I was a little concerned that I wasn't on there as his DW but it was all new to me I'd never been involved in a house purchase before

oh o/p. You and your dad should have got independent legal advice. If fact you should get some now.

to completely protect your money you should have done tennants in common with your own shares ringfenced.

marriage does not protect you in the way you think. If your dh put down less as a deposit you could end up losing some of yours.

my house is in my name. When we moved dh had to sign “some paperwork”. This was not to ensure his share, it was because as the house was in my name the bank required him to sign to say should I default on the mortgage he had no claim on the property and could not continue living there upon repossession.

please get a solicitor and check what you’ve actually signed up for.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 09/09/2022 15:58

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:54

No my credit isn't really bad, it's just not good. it's just below the threshold

Who told you this? There isn’t a ‘threshold’ - and even if you went through a broker, they don’t know the individual lender’s credit score requirements and tbh neither would any person there, it’s automatic. And if yours is low then your husband’s would have made up for it.

Old defaults - if less than 6 years would remain, but you could have still been on the mortgage. Just maybe a different lender.

I feel like you’ve been shafted OP.

Rutland2022 · 09/09/2022 15:58

You’ve been had @howdidIgetthere

My DH isn’t on our mortgage or deeds because of his bankruptcy- we have to have everything entirely separate. He would still get a share in divorce but we have both had thorough legal advice. You have been lied to I’m afraid and it won’t have been accidental.

Doingprettywellthanks · 09/09/2022 15:58

This is unbelievable

there may be a case for you not having full capacity OP because I can’t believe quite get my head around an adult behaving in this manner

Bubblebubblebah · 09/09/2022 15:59

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:57

Very definitely legally married. I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

So who was telling you that?

Sorry but not only you need property lawyer, you also need divorce lawyer and kick up the backside for just aitting ariund when your DF was gifting that amount of money.

What I REALLY want to know is how your DH explained 100k

Limer · 09/09/2022 15:59

This is all very concerning. You seem to have been fed a tissue of lies by your DH. Get proper legal advice ASAP. And please confirm that you are legally married according to UK law.

Octomore · 09/09/2022 16:00

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:57

Very definitely legally married. I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

I can't believe an adult would be so cavalier as to how £100k of their money was being spent.

There is no good reason why you couldn't have been in those meetings.

Was it him that told you you couldn't go on the deeds?

Sellorkeep · 09/09/2022 16:00

What did the solicitor say about how you protect your father’s 100k?
You are ignoring all the repliers telling you that you need to get legal advice.
The date of the house sale is the date of completion. But don’t take my internet stranger word for it. Go to a solicitor.

FuzzyAndBlue · 09/09/2022 16:01

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:57

Very definitely legally married. I wasn't involved with conversations with mortgage broker/lendor etc as I wasn't on any paperwork or to do with the purchase

You need to find some really good legal advice as it really sounds like he's spinning you a yarn.

You didn't have nothing to contribute. You had a hundred thousand pounds. Confused

FinallyHere · 09/09/2022 16:01

I repeat, knowledge is power.

Your first step is to check whether you are married according the laws of the country of 'your' house.

Then to find out what you need to do to get yourself on the deeds of that house.

And then, to stop taking what 'people tell you' at face value.

All the very best.

pigsDOfly · 09/09/2022 16:01

I'm worried he'll say there's no need for me to be on the deed now.

Well he can say what he likes, and he will, because he's stalling you, but the fact is you need your name to be on those deeds.

Speak to the solicitor yourself and don't keep accepting what your husband is telling you.

There's probably a very good (for him) reason he doesn't want your name on the mortgage or deeds.

You need to protect yourself and you need to do it sooner rather than later.

endofthelinefinally · 09/09/2022 16:01

Did you read the paperwork you signed? Was it witnessed? By whom? This all sounds deeply suspicious.

Original poster
howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 16:01

Gibraltar, all above board

OP posts:
Doingprettywellthanks · 09/09/2022 16:01

howdidIgetthere · 09/09/2022 15:45

He is a high earner though and I'm a student. Do you know if they should accept me on the deeds?

How long have you been married?

he financially supports you then if not earning?

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