Family won't respect our no screen policy foe DS

[MoMuM7]

I have a no screen policy for DS (1 yo). Everyone who watches him ie family, childcare knows this. I've recently discovered that my sister has been letting him watch TV for HOURS when he goes over to hers. She loves him to bits but why won't she abide by my rules? Is it really that hard to entertain a child? BTW she's single, lives alone and as far as I can tell has no other responsibilities/distractions that would cause her to plonk DD infront of the telly.
I have now decided she can only see him when I'm around. She's very upset. Family thinks im over reacting. AIBU?

No I wouldn’t be happy with my 1 yo watching TV for hours… but I also wouldn’t expect my DSis to look after DC for hours.

If you’re not happy with how someone looks after your DC then you can’t ask them for childcare.

It goes BOTH WAYS. If the sister can't do it without screen time, she could just say no to having him.

YABVU!
She's letting your LO watch a bit of age-appropriate TV, not swig neat vodka.

And it looks like now she will, because she was misled by her sister. If she had have known, she probably would have, all along. All the sister had to do was be honest and say she wasn't willing to do it without using a tv. So it goes both ways.

Agree with this.

Others' opinion of screen time is irrelevant. If she can't abide by the rules, she loses the privilege.

I hope this is sold to the media and the sister recognises herself.

Unclench.

She's fortunate if your child sits in front of the TV for hours. I mind my 1 year old grandson, he'll sometimes sit & watch Bing or Peter Rabbit but he's usually off exploring or playing with his toys paying no attention. If he does watch I interact with him if he reacts to what he sees, perhaps your sister does the same or just has it on in the background.

Looks like the cowardly OP has fucked off, but I think that's being very unfair on the sister who's looking after him.

So come on OP DO you pay her?

Exactly.

Plopping a toddler in front of a tv for hours is just lazy.

Thanks for responding. Bit young to be a veggie! Unless it was more they didn't like the taste of meat. Sorry, not trying to detract from the thread x

Sticking a 1 year old in front if the TV for hours is not good for them and will create problems for you when you are trying to keep them away from screens at your home as now they will want it (screens are very addictive and absorbing at that age). I think you are allowed to decide who you leave your child with and if there are problems with the arrangement your child comes first, not the feelings of a relative. I would probably try not to antagonise the situation by saying that circumstances have changed and you wont be dropping your dc round to them for a while and thank them for having had dc until now. Then don’t engage further on the subject!

This sounds like a typical one year old! I agree that ultimately it’s OP’s child and therefore OP’s rules but I just don’t believe that any one year old would sit still watching TV for hours on end so the level of upset may be unjustified.

I think you've missed the point.

I also never let my dc on screens under 2. Which was great. In my home. With me/dh in charge of entertaining them.

The point is that OP is complaining about free childcare she is getting from a loving, caring sister who is willing to care for her dc - once again, for free! - for hours at a time.

And worrying about Teletubbies v Charlie and Lola, when you are not being subjected to either? Good lord, you need to chill the hell out.

I’d say looking after your neice/nephew is a favour not a privilege!

You need to relax. As you say it one imagines a 1 year old sitting still eyes glued on tv for hours and hours. Does she also drug him? Because i have yet to meet a 1 year old who pays more than 5 minutes attention to anything. We had the tv on watching our shows when she was in the room, she would give it a glance if some noise or colours came on and then return to her toys, more like background noise really. If you are to tight about your policies you should pay for your childcare. I am sure your sigle childless sister can do many other things with her precious time. YABVVVVU

Couldn't think of anything worse than constantly entertaining a 1 yr old. It's fine to have your rules but you don't get to tell people what to do in their own house.

Although it looks like this was a hand grenade post for shits and giggles.

Free childcare isn't a 'privilege' for the person who's doing it, ffs.

No, I don't pay her nor has she asked for payment. She basically takes him to hers for 'quality auntie time' and all they do is watch TV. No walks to the park, no playing with toys or reading books just TV. He's overestimated as a result which has thrown his sleeping schedule out of the window.

I have childcare so she really doesn't need to look after him. What I don't understand is why she doesn't care about how the screen time affects him. If it didn't I wouldn't mind. I suppose there's a bigger issue of respecting boundaries. I don't feel like she cares about any in regards to DS' feeding, naps etc. To me she wants to play the cool auntie which will be handy when DS is a teenager but he's a toddler.

If you choose to look after your nephew, there should be some level of responsible parenting involved??

If you disagree with how she looks after him, stop letting him go round. Why would you keep sending him if you don't like how she spends time with him?

I was always going to be against screen time, however lots of it is very educational and can help with speech etc.

Looking after a 1 year old for free is a favour to the parent. It's not a privilege.

"Privilege" 😂😂😂

To be honest I agree with you. 1 year-olds do not need to be watching TV, and if she is actively choosing to have him, then she should want to spend some actual time with him, not just plonk him in front of the TV.

If you were asking her to babysit as a favour or as childcare, I would be more inclined to turn a blind eye (but still be a bit annoyed in private!), but if she is asking you to have him, she should be respecting your rules.

I think you are right to say you can all spend time together.