Friend gave me Covid!

[Mommypolls8]

Looking for opinions about something as I really don’t know how to feel and could do with a bit of perspective please.
I met up with a friend last week and spent about five hours with her. I tested positive for covid yesterday and she told me she’d tested positive two days before meeting up with me. On the day we met up she told me she’d actually tested negative (I’m very careful as I have a 94 year old mother) but now just said she was actually positive two days before meeting up.
I’ve only been back at work for two days after the summer holidays and have had to phone in sick!
I just don’t know how to feel about the fact she met up with me knowing she had covid and about the fact she lied about testing negative.
I’d trust this friend with my life which is why I’m so shocked at her behaviour.
So, AIBU to feel annoyed at what she’s done or does life just have to go on as normal nowadays with no care about if we spread covid or not?

or does life just have to go on as normal nowadays with no care about if we spread covid or not?

Yes, I don't care, most people probably don't now either.

So your friend lied about her Covid test, and was actually positive when she tested two days prior to your meeting her?

Did she have a negative test at all, before she met you, like on the day? Or was that the only test she did?

She should really have given you the option to reschedule if she had tested positive. I don’t understand why she didn’t test on the day though.

Point being is she lied about having it at all, which whilst not a big thing for most people, is obviously a problem for you. Why lie about it and prevent you from making your own choice about meeting her or not!

I get why you are cross.

YANBU She should have given you the opportunity to make your own choice whether you took the risk of catching her infection. And as you have a 94 year old mother you are trying to protect I think her behaviour is disgusting.

I would be really annoyed that she lied to you, instead of letting you know so you could make an informed decision about meeting her.

Loads of people seem to be ignoring covid now, but that has to be your decision to make. Your pal must have known that you are cautious, and you have a good reason why, so it is horrible that they disregarded that.

I have it at the moment too, caught from a visitor who I have suspicions about whether they knew they had it or not.

Hope you don't feel too unwell.

A friend who I hadn't seen in years (lives abroad) and she tested positive a week before seeing me. She called as soon as she found out and gave me the option to cancel, I said as it was a week out we would still meet just not hug and we sat outside.
If I had covid I would wear a mask and limit any close encounters with people.
It can still be a nasty illness.
I think your friend should have told you and you decide whether to still meet up.

She wouldn't be my friend now. I have to be very careful as my dad is CEV and what she did is unforgivable and selfish.

That's awful !
Fair enough if she didn't know, but lying about it is terrible.

I wouldn’t be too happy, presumably she knows you have an elderly vulnerable Mother.

I think the crux of the issue here is that you have a 94 year old mother and your "friend" knows you need to be careful. For that reason alone, what she's done is outrageous. Few people like confrontation, especially with people in our lives we really value, but you really need to say something here.

I say this as someone who currently has Covid (picked up at work), and I cancelled all my social events immediately. I've been stuck in the same room isolating for 5 days now, so I don't pass it onto my OH who has asthma. I'm bored out of my head talking to him through the door and on the phone, but I don't want to infect anyone else.

Legally she has done nothing wrong. However, morally, I think its wrong. not to tell people and give them the choice. Not only did she not tell you, she actively lied to you.. Would be a deal breaker for me.

What did she say when you asked her why she lied to you?

It's fine for her to make her own choices but it was not fine for her to inflict them in you, and she lied about it so she was doing it knowingly.

She tested positive two days before meeting me and is still positive so no negative tests in the last eight days.
I had long covid in 2020 and it made a health problem much worse leading to the need for an operation. She knows all this and still met up. I think she knows I would’ve rescheduled hence the untruths about negative testing. I just don’t know how to feel.

This seems pretty straightforward to me. In your position I’d feel furious and betrayed. She lied to you and knowingly put you and your DM at risk.

I can’t think of a single reason that would excuse this and she would be an ex friend.

The fact that she lied would be the problem for me. She knows how you feel and didn't want to give you to cancel your plans. You say you'd trust her with your life, but you may need to re-evaluate that.

Why don't you know how to feel?

What's stopping you from being furious, given the age of your mother and your own health condition?

Personally I don't really care about COVID anymore, but I have friends who are scared of it so if I tested positive I would have the courtesy to tell them, let alone if they had already suffered long covid and had a 94 year old mum!
It was not kind to withhold that from you, and lying in my book is never ok.

Sorry, I’m not very good on here so my replies are all over the place!
Yes, she knows about my mother, about my long covid and the operation that it led to. She also knew I had to go back to work on Monday after six weeks off, the fact that my son was back into college this week and that my husband isolated himself about six weeks ago, when he had covid, so that the rest of us wouldn’t get it.
I didn’t say anything to my friend as I was just a bit shocked…I still am!

YANBU because your friend lied to you.

She wouldn't be a friend of mine anymore.

She lied to your face, knowing that you're cautious when it comes to Covid and would have wanted to cancel. So, she put her needs first.

You said you would have trusted her with your life... well, you did. And that trust was misplaced.

People can have whatever crazy ideas about Covid they want, but lying is downright unacceptable. Everyone should be free to make their own risk assessments, not be tricked into following someone else's one.

Are you certain that she tested positive before meeting you and there hasn't been a misunderstanding?

She wouldn't be my friend anymore.

She’s likely telling the truth re testing negative.

You can test negative on a lft but positive on a pcr the same day. My pal tested negative three days in a row on lft and the middle day she did a pcr and it was positive. so the lfts were wrong.

so in all honesty she may be telling the truth and just didn’t realise lfts aren’t as sensitive as pcrs.

she should have called and made you aware and then you could have chosen what to do.