Friend gave me Covid!

[Mommypolls8]

Looking for opinions about something as I really don’t know how to feel and could do with a bit of perspective please.
I met up with a friend last week and spent about five hours with her. I tested positive for covid yesterday and she told me she’d tested positive two days before meeting up with me. On the day we met up she told me she’d actually tested negative (I’m very careful as I have a 94 year old mother) but now just said she was actually positive two days before meeting up.
I’ve only been back at work for two days after the summer holidays and have had to phone in sick!
I just don’t know how to feel about the fact she met up with me knowing she had covid and about the fact she lied about testing negative.
I’d trust this friend with my life which is why I’m so shocked at her behaviour.
So, AIBU to feel annoyed at what she’s done or does life just have to go on as normal nowadays with no care about if we spread covid or not?

And having said that, I had a friend with ME for whom ‘just’ a cold could leave her bedridden for weeks. She hasn’t been able to live a ‘normal’ life for years, and only sees people she absolutely trusts not to expose her to things that can make her ill. Her sister died in her 20s as a result of complications caused by the same condition.

Goodness me !!!
She knows about your 94 year old mother, your long Covid and the problems it caused, you having been off work and going back in , your son being home from college etc and she still lied re testing negative.
With a friend like that you don't need enemies.

It’s the lying that’s the issue to me.

Fine, there’s no legal requirement to isolate, but it’s very manipulative to lie and tell you she was negative. You should have been given the info and the right to make your own decision.

Personally, I don’t like meeting up with people who know they’ve got a contagious illness. Others might be fine with it but I’d rather postpone til they’re better. If they’ve got no idea then fine, I don’t get upset after the event. I personally really hate being lied to and manipulated.

I would be ending that friendship. I too have very elderly parents who need my help. I also work in the nhs and a positive test means at least 6 days off for me. Very selfish of her.

I have a severely disabled adult son who has not been vaccinated (not for want of trying) & care. I’d be furious OP - to actually lie about it would
probably be enough to end a friendship for me.

Well I don't test for it anymore ! And what's CEV people ?

I’d be v angry in your shoes, OP. Your friend knew about your elderly mum and your long Covid but still didn’t tell you she’d tested positive. Are your family/work colleagues ok? Did you meet your friend indoors?

I work in a care home. I absolutely cannot go to work if I have covid. My wage would drop to statutory sick pay after the first three missed shifts which would be unpaid. My colleagues who are already under pressure because of understaffing (industry wide low staffing levels) would struggle. Residents would get less than the best care due to not enough staff. I could potentially end up beyond skint because there's a £363 loss in wages both weeks I'd likely be off. Longer if still showing positive results as sometimes happens.

I'd be fucking pissed if someone who calls them self my friend gave me covid by coming to spend time with me knowing they had it. I would have to rethink my friendship due to the fact they seemingly don't give a fuck about me.

We have to move on yes, but people should be considerate about spreading their germs in general. I'd also have been pissed to arrive at a friend's to be told they have tonsillitis or gastroenteritis. Even a cold is annoying and I'd like to avoid it if I can.

Particularly with covid, we should be given the choice to avoid, as many of us have workplaces that are still keen to keep it out, in addition ti vulnerable relatives.

Well I don't test for it anymore ! And what's CEV people ?

Is this a serious question?

I really don’t understand why she bothered to test and didn’t tell you. Why bother in that case?

I think that would be an ex friend of mine if it were me.

She tested because her mother and fil tested positive and she’s in very close contact with them. She’s very concerned about them. However, she knows my dm almost died in 2020 after contracting delta (pre jabs) and spent five truly awful months in hospital recovering. This is the main reason why I’d chose not to see someone who was covid positive - I need to keep my dm safe and well. Then, there’s the fact that I’ve just had the whole summer off work and had to ring in sick on day three. Just not good at all.

Errrm yes !!

I can't believe what I am reading.

If its real, she is not someone I could look at the same ever again.

Such unbelievable selfishness is not someone I would ever want in my life.

I would be devastated by her deliberate actions.

I'm so sorry.

Why did she test? More importantly, why did you test? I'm sure most of us have had Covid multiple times without even knowing.
It's not a big deal, it's a minor illness, it's here to stay.
I wouldn't want to spoil a friendship for this.

I promise you it’s most definitely real although it still doesn’t seem like it’s happened. She is usually the most lovely and thoughtful friend. Her husband is a bit of a covid conspiracy theorist so I don’t know if his perspective has rubbed off on her.

I'm sorry, op. That is not a friend. The fact you had long covid, your mum. Just awful a so-called friend would do that to you 😓

Based on what you've said I wouldn't speak to her again for a very long time if ever.

When I have a cold, I don't meet up with my friends unless it's really necessary and I don't lie to them about having a cold. I really don't get why you would share your germs with people if it can be avoided.

She lied to your face- for me that’s the issue.

Have you been living in a cave for the last two years?

Unfortunately the rules mean she can do what she wants and she's clearly not considerate enough to give you the option to protect your mother.

People seem to have got so much more selfish over the last 2-3 years.

If I was you, she would now be an ex-friend.....

I think incredibly pissed off is how you would feel and YANBU to feel that way!

That's disgusting. I'd be livid with her. I am sick of people only giving a crap about themselves. Fair enough if someone is unaware they are positive but to intentionally go and meet someone with health issues and vulnerable person at home are just scum bags.

I'm still not talking to one of my sil's who swore she was negative but knew she was positive and sat in my house playing with my severely disabled dd with numerous health conditions. People like this are utter fuckers.

I think the problem is that many people are now complacent. BIL (golden boy) has a 'it's just a cold' attitude which has rubbed off on the previously cautious PIL. They had many notifications but didn't test until after a family event which included people who are CEV. They had covid.

BIL himself wouldn't test because if he was positive he wouldn't be able to go on holiday. Spread covid to many people. Was pressured into testing. Then said he was on day ten and negative so went on holiday. Not true.