Friend gave me Covid!

[Mommypolls8]

Looking for opinions about something as I really don’t know how to feel and could do with a bit of perspective please.
I met up with a friend last week and spent about five hours with her. I tested positive for covid yesterday and she told me she’d tested positive two days before meeting up with me. On the day we met up she told me she’d actually tested negative (I’m very careful as I have a 94 year old mother) but now just said she was actually positive two days before meeting up.
I’ve only been back at work for two days after the summer holidays and have had to phone in sick!
I just don’t know how to feel about the fact she met up with me knowing she had covid and about the fact she lied about testing negative.
I’d trust this friend with my life which is why I’m so shocked at her behaviour.
So, AIBU to feel annoyed at what she’s done or does life just have to go on as normal nowadays with no care about if we spread covid or not?

Thank you for explaining I have heard of it just not the abbreviation.

Why did she test anyway

I can see see why many won’t know what CEV means. My mum is CEV but was never described like this by her GP or anyone else so how would she know.

I don’t care about covid for me, I have had it once and although the first day I felt horrendous, after that it wasn’t too bad. The most annoying thing was being stuck indoors, however I do care for those that would be severely ill if they got it so I will test if I have symptoms or I am going to be around people that are CEV just to be sure. We do all have to get back to normal but need to take into account how others are likely to be affected.

I think the general expression for CEV was 'Shielded' which more people might be familiar with.

CEV people are clinically extremely vulnerable . Its people who have had organ transplants, who have blood cancer, are having chemotherapy for any kind of cancer and a few other conditions. These people are the ones who are at the greatest risk of death from covid. Many of them have had 5 vaccinations but not acquired any antibodies from them or cannot have the vaccinations. There are around 500,000 Cev people in the uk of all ages who are still trying to shield because of their medical conditions.

@Mommypolls8 @rookiemere I wouldn’t trust her to be honest given the behaviour so far. She knew and didn’t tell you. Knowing you have an elderly Mum and knowing of your previous illness/health issues.

I genuinely would have nothing to do with her any more. She had no reason to lie.

I find her behaviour in this instance despicable.

I’m very blasé about covid because I do think life needs to go on now but I think your friend’s behaviour is appalling given the circumstances.

She should have told you the truth and given you the choice about whether you still wanted to meet up, knowing your circumstances and all the very good reasons why covid would be a serious issue for your own health as well as your mother’s. Lying to you is just totally unacceptable. The fact that she told you she was negative when she knew she had been positive demonstrates she knew it would be an issue for you if she had been positive.

The only redeeming factor I can think of is that I’m assuming she was asymptomatic (as when I was 2 days into covid a couple
of months ago I wasn’t able to leave the house!) and so maybe genuinely believed she wasn’t infectious? But even then she still lied.

The fact that her husband is into conspiracy theories however would suggest to me that she’s decided anyone who is still nervous about covid needs to get over it and so she decided to just not tell you as she doesn’t respect your totally valid concerns about catching it.

I wouldn’t bin the friendship over it but I would call her and have a very frank discussion about your feelings. Covid and beliefs around it have brought out some very strange sides in people in my experience - I’ve got a few conspiracy theorists in my life who I still love dearly despite this - and I think you just need to make it clear to her that this is something you won’t negotiate on and in future she really needs to respect your boundaries around it.

Feel furious, betrayed, upset! How selfish she has been! That is disgusting behaviour. Even if you think having Covid is no big deal (which I disagree with), it is quite wrong of anyone to expose someone in your position to maybe catching it and passing it on to another vulnerable person and the fact she knew she was positive and lied about it horrifies me. I might not say anything to her, but I wouldn't want to see her ever again!

I would be annoyed if someone tested positive and still met up but I would not be worried if someone gave me covid who hadn't tested because I don't test

I would be livid, and would no longer consider her a friend. I've just got over my first bout of covid, despite catching it one month after my fourth jab it really knocked me sideways. Anyone blithley saying 'its just a cold' is in idiot. It might have been that way for you, for others it can be deadly.