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AIBU?

Teacher keeping Y1s behind for 15 minutes?

126 replies

OMeOMy · 06/09/2022 15:06

Yesterday was DC's 1st day in Y1 and my first day back at work after mat leave (WFH). I'd negotiated taking a late lunch to allow me to pick up DC from school. The teacher kept them all behind for 15 mins. When I asked DC (admittedly not necessarily a reliable witness) he said some of the children at the back of the queue were being noisy and the teacher wouldn't let them all our until they stopped messing around. AIBU to think this was unreasonable on the teacher's part? I was 15 mins late logging back on to work on my first day back - presumably other parents had similar commitments/potentially other kids to collect. I'm still quite new to being a school parent so keen to hear other people's thoughts before potentially mentioning something to the school (if this happens again). Ta!

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Am I being unreasonable?

425 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
34%
You are NOT being unreasonable
66%
mam0918 · 06/09/2022 15:48

I dont have strict work scheduals to get back to normally and my kids finish are different time but even so I always hated this.

The amount of time they would be over 10 minutes late coming out while we are stood (many of us with babies/young children) in the rain, snow, gale force winds or sometime in summer ungodly heat as if they have all the time in the world (we live high up so weather is pretty bad here).

Many times they where late taking kids in in the mornings too so we have to stand around in the rain then too (parents have to supervise kids until teachers accept them inside).

But if we are 10 minutes late to either morning or after school we get passive agressive messages and told 'its not fair on the children'. At least if Im late my kid is kept in the warm/dry school rather than my toddler being out in the terrible weather for god knows how long.

They know we all show up 10-15 minutes early for pick ups (as the recommend) and because people have to walk/bus etc... so we could be standing nearly half an hour waiting for them.

Times should be strict for them aswell as us.

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DuggeeHugPlease · 06/09/2022 15:55

I'd hate this and would definitely complain - politely but firmly. My DD is in Y1 too and thankfully they go in and out with military precision.

I get there 5-10 mins early and would not appreciate standing around for another 15 mins waiting. We have work/nursery pick up/after school clubs all timed around knowing when school finishes and it's not for the teacher to decide they can keep the class with no notice.

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JudgeRindersMinder · 06/09/2022 16:00

I once ripped my dd’s teacher a new one for doing this when she was in P5. She was 15 mins late home (walked to and from school and no phone because she was 9).
It never happened again when I explained how and why this was so bloody unacceptable in words of 1 syllable through gritted teeth.

Absolutely bloody unacceptable.

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Chevyimpala67 · 06/09/2022 16:10

NQT?

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nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 16:11

YANBU to be annoyed about this

Definitely find out what happened from the teacher and go from there with a complaint

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BlackeyedSusan · 06/09/2022 16:15

Poor discipline management. (Ex Y1 teacher)

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Creativecrafts · 06/09/2022 16:22

It's easy to see from this thread how many parents are so entitled and unsupportive of their child's teachers.
If parents are inconvenienced by the children being kept in, it might lead to them talking to their child about the necessity of doing as their teacher tells them.

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JudgeRindersMinder · 06/09/2022 16:28

Creativecrafts · 06/09/2022 16:22

It's easy to see from this thread how many parents are so entitled and unsupportive of their child's teachers.
If parents are inconvenienced by the children being kept in, it might lead to them talking to their child about the necessity of doing as their teacher tells them.

Absolutely no entitlement or lack of support here, but when a teacher takes a lazy non-constructive approach to something which causes ME hassle due to something my child wasn’t involved in, you bet I’ll let them know about it

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MardyBumm · 06/09/2022 16:35

It's dangerous to dismiss children when half the class is playing up, especially on the first day of school when teachers don't know who the parents are. How would you feel if your child was hit by another child because the teacher was concentrating on handing over the right child to the right adult? Or your child was handed over to a stranger because the teacher is trying to deal with a behaviour incident. No teacher wants to spend an extra 15 mins at school but for safety reasons, perhaps it was necessary. Although this has never happened to me (as a teacher) as I always start getting ready 15 mins early on the first few days to avoid this 😅

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FruitPastilleNut · 06/09/2022 16:37

It's easy to see from this thread how many parents are so entitled and unsupportive of their child's teachers

It's not entitled to expect to collect your child at the pre agreed time, having already arranged your day around this time. I drop my dc off on time every single day - I fully expect to collect them on time too.

And yes, I'm unsupportive of any teacher who believes they have the right to change pick up time with no notice - they don't. It's the teacher showing an entitled attitude in this instance imo - they need to plan their end of day better to ensure this doesn't happen and not expect that they can allow aspects of their job to overrun when it significantly impacts others.

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Mountainpika · 06/09/2022 16:44

If the children get over boistrous lining up when they first start school, maybe they could practise a few times a day so they get used to it for a variety of activities e.g. going into assembly.

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Makemeanxray · 06/09/2022 16:50

@Creativecrafts

Do you really lack that much self awareness?

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Benjispruce4 · 06/09/2022 16:54

Are you sure it was 15 minutes? I work with year 1 and an extra minute or two would normally be all it would take.

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martinsmoneysaver · 06/09/2022 16:56

LilacPoppy · 06/09/2022 15:16

Yanbu but why didn't you just take your ds?

the teacher hadn't let them out. you can hardly Barge into a primary school now, can you?

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GG1986 · 06/09/2022 16:57

This is a bit extreme for year 1 children on their first day back! I would email the headteacher. Like pp said some parents have commitments, picking up other kids, after school clubs and appointments to get to etc, what parent wants to hang around the school for an extra 15 minutes.

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Kashmirsilver · 06/09/2022 16:59

The youngest is still in junior school.
They never finish on time.
Irritating.

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BabyDreamers · 06/09/2022 16:59

I remember having a medical appointment straight after school and my teacher doing this. My stepdad knocked on the door, excused me from class and told me to get my stuff and hurry up. Teacher didn't say a word.

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BabyDreamers · 06/09/2022 17:00

martinsmoneysaver · 06/09/2022 16:56

the teacher hadn't let them out. you can hardly Barge into a primary school now, can you?

Yes you can 🤣🤣

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PopPopPopP · 06/09/2022 17:05

Mine are year 4 and 6 now. At their primary the teachers have often been late releasing the children at the end of the day. Not usually by 15 mins, but often 10. Normally no reason, just how it's been. It's annoying but I got used to it and have factored into my day that pick up is not a quick grab and go but usually involves some waiting. Luckily my year 6 can make his own way home now!

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Crunchymum · 06/09/2022 17:06

Did it happen again today?

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FrippEnos · 06/09/2022 17:08

JudgeRindersMinder · 06/09/2022 16:00

I once ripped my dd’s teacher a new one for doing this when she was in P5. She was 15 mins late home (walked to and from school and no phone because she was 9).
It never happened again when I explained how and why this was so bloody unacceptable in words of 1 syllable through gritted teeth.

Absolutely bloody unacceptable.

And then you woke up.

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EnidSpyton · 06/09/2022 17:09

I'm not a primary teacher (I'm secondary) but keeping children behind after school for any reason is something that shouldn't be done without prior warning/parental permission due to the many excellent reasons PPs have outlined. A couple of minutes to have a quick chat, sort out an issue, or have a child collect something from reception/another classroom etc - fine. But 15 minutes is definitely not ok.

Is this teacher new to the school and/or an NQT? If so they may not be aware of how unacceptable this is - a young, inexperienced teacher with no children of their own may simply not have thought through the implications of a 15 minute wait for parents who may have all sorts of other things to go and do.

I also suspect this teacher may be inexperienced due to them taking 15 minutes to settle the class at the end of the day. That's simply poor behaviour management. All behaviour management should be dealt with during the school day, not after. If there is an issue with the children lining up, this should be practised repeatedly - well before home time - until they get it right, so that they can and do leave on time every day.

I'd let it go this one time - it is the first week back after all - but if it becomes a pattern (i.e. it happens again this week) then I'd absolutely say something. I'd send a non confrontational email to the Head just saying you're finding it very inconvenient that the teacher is making parents wait for 15 minutes and perhaps they could have a quiet word about the importance of letting children out on time in future. If the teacher is an NQT then this will also flag up to the Head that they might be needing a bit of extra support around behaviour.

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Crunchymum · 06/09/2022 17:12

JudgeRindersMinder · 06/09/2022 16:00

I once ripped my dd’s teacher a new one for doing this when she was in P5. She was 15 mins late home (walked to and from school and no phone because she was 9).
It never happened again when I explained how and why this was so bloody unacceptable in words of 1 syllable through gritted teeth.

Absolutely bloody unacceptable.

I don't understand?

Why were you so annoyed at the teacher? Presumably she kept the kids back for a reason and not just for the fun of it.

I get that you were probably worried but your choice to let your DC walk to and from school aged 9 isn't the teachers fault.

Also all the posters saying "just go and get your child" - most schools have security doors etc, you literally cannot just go walking in to the school building.

My DC1 had swimming last academic year (in February), each class got a two week block. DC1 class were at least 20 minutes late back everyday - that was fun! I never dreamed of moaning about it though... and realise it's not quite the same thing but my point is some times delays happen.

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SofiaSoFar · 06/09/2022 17:12

Creativecrafts · 06/09/2022 16:22

It's easy to see from this thread how many parents are so entitled and unsupportive of their child's teachers.
If parents are inconvenienced by the children being kept in, it might lead to them talking to their child about the necessity of doing as their teacher tells them.

This. Some of these comments are unbelievable.

"I would 'just' take my DC..."

🙄

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Ihatethenewlook · 06/09/2022 17:13

Dotjones · 06/09/2022 15:21

Seems fine to me, 15 minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's hopefully enough to make the troublemakers think twice about their behaviour. Also it's an early introduction to the unfairness of the "collective punishment" system the innocent children will be screwed over by repeatedly for the next decade or so.

15 minutes to me would mean me missing the bus to my shift full of time critical patients. I’d have my entire shift taken off me by on call. I’d be £120 down and still have to pay the childminder

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